Episode 106 - Whitney Cummings

Episode 106 • Released September 7, 2010 • Speakers detected

00:00:00Guest:Lock the gates!

00:00:07Guest:Are we doing this?

00:00:08Guest:Really?

00:00:08Guest:Wait for it.

00:00:09Guest:Are we doing this?

00:00:10Guest:Wait for it.

00:00:12Guest:Pow!

00:00:12Guest:What the fuck?

00:00:14Guest:And it's also... Eh, what the fuck?

00:00:16Guest:What's wrong with me?

00:00:17Guest:It's time for WTF!

00:00:19Guest:What the fuck?

00:00:20Guest:With Mark Maron.

00:00:24Marc:Okay, let's do this.

00:00:25Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?

00:00:26Marc:What the fuck buddies?

00:00:27Marc:What the fuckineers?

00:00:29Marc:What the fuck nicks?

00:00:31Marc:Just got home yesterday from Seattle.

00:00:33Marc:Had a great time.

00:00:34Marc:Great time in Seattle.

00:00:36Marc:Three days up there.

00:00:37Marc:Saw some good music shows.

00:00:39Marc:But you know what?

00:00:40Marc:Honestly, all that's sitting with me now, and I don't want to be tedious.

00:00:43Marc:I don't want to be an ass.

00:00:48Marc:I ate like shit.

00:00:49Marc:I just ate like shit.

00:00:50Marc:It's like a state fair...

00:00:53Marc:For hipsters.

00:00:53Marc:That's what Bumbershoot is.

00:00:55Marc:And I apologize if you guys, some of you didn't know that I was going to be up there.

00:00:58Marc:I have a problem with doing the, you know, with promoting myself.

00:01:03Marc:I get on the mic.

00:01:04Marc:I talk to you guys.

00:01:05Marc:I tell you what's going on in my life, and I forget to tell you where I'm going to be.

00:01:08Marc:But a lot of what the fuckers showed up.

00:01:10Marc:We had great shows.

00:01:11Marc:We did a live WTF with Patton Oswalt, Doug Benson, Eddie Pepitone, El Chupacabra, a.k.a.

00:01:18Marc:Nick Kroll.

00:01:19Marc:Hilarious.

00:01:20Marc:Donald Glover, I'll be sharing that episode with you probably in the next week or so.

00:01:26Marc:I did a few shows with Tig Notaro, who you met on my show.

00:01:30Marc:I had a great time.

00:01:31Marc:I was up there with my gal.

00:01:35Marc:We got to do the hotel room thing for three days.

00:01:38Marc:You know what I mean?

00:01:38Marc:You know, it's good to go other places to have arguments and yell.

00:01:43Marc:It's fun to go out of town to embarrass yourself, you know, to a hallway of people that don't know you at all as opposed to your neighbors.

00:01:52Marc:Good to get that out.

00:01:54Marc:out there in the world.

00:01:55Marc:We also had some good times.

00:01:56Marc:I don't need to go into detail.

00:01:58Marc:But here's what's lingering with me.

00:02:00Marc:The fact that I ate a brick of curly fries.

00:02:03Marc:I ate an elephant ear.

00:02:04Marc:Do you know what an elephant ear is?

00:02:06Marc:Doesn't matter.

00:02:06Marc:Fried dough.

00:02:08Marc:Just fried dough with some cinnamon.

00:02:10Marc:That's all.

00:02:11Marc:I ate a hot dog with sauerkraut.

00:02:14Marc:I ate a box of chocolates.

00:02:16Marc:I had some Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

00:02:18Marc:I had a slice of pizza in between all of that.

00:02:21Marc:I ate a lot of backstage food.

00:02:23Marc:Cheese cubes.

00:02:24Marc:And I got home.

00:02:27Marc:And, you know, because, as you know, deep down, I'm a bulimic teenage girl.

00:02:32Marc:I wanted to hang myself.

00:02:34Marc:So I wanted to eat some healthy stuff here at the house.

00:02:37Marc:You know what I got at the house here after being away for three days?

00:02:39Marc:You know, it's here at the house to eat nothing.

00:02:41Marc:There's nothing to eat at all.

00:02:42Marc:So did I go out to a store to buy something to eat?

00:02:45Marc:No, no, no.

00:02:46Marc:I'll make do.

00:02:47Marc:I'll make do with what I have.

00:02:48Marc:What have I got?

00:02:49Marc:I've got some sliced jalapenos.

00:02:52Marc:OK, I guess that's a start.

00:02:53Marc:Can't really build a meal around it.

00:02:56Marc:I got some sliced bread and butter pickle slices.

00:03:00Marc:Nope, not a meal.

00:03:01Marc:Frozen raw chicken.

00:03:02Marc:Not a meal right now.

00:03:06Marc:Not unless you want to have chicken popsicles.

00:03:07Marc:It's not a meal.

00:03:08Marc:You can't just suck on a piece of raw frozen chicken.

00:03:11Marc:You probably could though, right?

00:03:12Marc:Doesn't it kill the bacteria?

00:03:13Marc:I mean, theoretically, if you were going to have to eat raw chicken, couldn't you eat frozen raw chicken?

00:03:20Marc:So I ended up having two slices of cheese and a cup of coffee.

00:03:23Marc:Fuck.

00:03:25Marc:I'm dying for a cigarette.

00:03:27Marc:All this non-nicotine shit.

00:03:29Marc:You know, OK, I've been off the nicotine.

00:03:31Marc:All right.

00:03:31Marc:I've chipped a little.

00:03:33Marc:I'll be honest with you.

00:03:34Marc:I've done some chipping.

00:03:36Marc:That's what they used to call it back in the day before I was involved with drugs.

00:03:40Marc:I believe that chipping meant I've been taken.

00:03:43Marc:I've had a lozenge.

00:03:46Marc:Hold on.

00:03:46Marc:I think I'm being there's a air raid.

00:03:51Marc:Holy shit.

00:03:52Marc:Is that guy going down?

00:03:54Marc:Should I be concerned?

00:03:58Marc:But I enjoyed the nicotine because it made my metabolism high, and now I get aggravated at everything very easily.

00:04:05Marc:Very easily.

00:04:05Marc:I went to this movie theater the other night to see a movie.

00:04:09Marc:It's not listed as a special movie theater.

00:04:11Marc:It used to be a regular movie theater.

00:04:13Marc:I go to Pasadena with Jessica.

00:04:16Marc:We go in, and it's called the Gold Star, Gold Card, Gold Chase.

00:04:23Marc:I fucking don't know.

00:04:25Marc:It's some sort of special theater.

00:04:26Marc:We walk in and they're like, do you have a reservation?

00:04:29Marc:We're like, what?

00:04:29Marc:It's a movie theater.

00:04:31Marc:It's not even an arc.

00:04:32Marc:It's not like a big arc light theater either.

00:04:33Marc:It's just a little theater.

00:04:35Marc:No, we'd have a reservation.

00:04:36Marc:Well, our seating is all booked up.

00:04:38Marc:And I'm like, what the fuck?

00:04:39Marc:What kind of fucking theater is this?

00:04:40Marc:And that was the first time I went after I paid $7 to park.

00:04:43Marc:Then I went back again, not realizing again what it was.

00:04:46Marc:And we get there.

00:04:47Marc:Do you have reservations?

00:04:47Marc:We don't have reservations.

00:04:49Marc:Well, I still have some seating available.

00:04:50Marc:What you do is you have to join the theater over there, give your email, punch in your preferences, and then come back and get the tickets.

00:04:57Marc:So I do that.

00:04:58Marc:We go to get the tickets.

00:04:59Marc:And Jessica says, I already got a ticket.

00:05:02Marc:And I'm like, all right.

00:05:03Marc:She says, it was $22.

00:05:04Marc:I'm like, for both of us?

00:05:05Marc:And she's like, no, for one of us.

00:05:07Marc:I'm like, $22 for each of us?

00:05:09Marc:What the fuck is that?

00:05:10Marc:And apparently it's this movie theater where there's like 12 seats in it.

00:05:14Marc:You sit in a lazy boy recliner.

00:05:15Marc:They'll feed you food.

00:05:16Marc:They'll give you cocktails if you want cocktails.

00:05:19Marc:And it's sort of a special movie theater.

00:05:21Marc:I'm like, that is fucking bullshit.

00:05:23Marc:Movies are for the people.

00:05:24Marc:If people want to do that kind of movie viewing, let them do it at home.

00:05:28Marc:You guys are your classist.

00:05:30Marc:You're idiots.

00:05:31Marc:I fucking hate your guts.

00:05:33Marc:This place is disgusting.

00:05:34Marc:Get your money back.

00:05:35Marc:We're leaving.

00:05:36Marc:I got that angry at a movie theater for having 15 seats, Lazy Boy recliners, where you could sit and you had to pay $22 a ticket so somebody could give you food and drinks at your Lazy Boy recliner.

00:05:50Marc:Go home.

00:05:51Marc:Just go home and watch the movie.

00:05:56Marc:That cost me $7.

00:05:58Marc:Today on the show, we have Whitney Cummings, who many of you know from the Comedy Central roasts.

00:06:03Marc:I've worked with her a bit.

00:06:04Marc:I do know she's a hard worker.

00:06:06Marc:Excuse me.

00:06:07Marc:She's done some funny things.

00:06:09Marc:And you guys enjoy when I have women on the show.

00:06:12Marc:Sometimes I get emails like, where are the women?

00:06:14Marc:I don't know.

00:06:15Marc:Send me some.

00:06:17Marc:But Whitney and I have a bit of a past.

00:06:19Marc:Nothing too sorted.

00:06:21Marc:There was no fluids exchanged.

00:06:23Marc:But we've worked together.

00:06:24Marc:I enjoy her.

00:06:25Marc:And she should be here in a minute.

00:06:28Marc:I also have a large cold brewed coffee project going on in the house.

00:06:36Marc:Cold brewed coffee project, which means that you have to take rounds, put cold water on them, let them sit overnight, then double filter them in order to make iced coffee because it's supposed to be great.

00:06:46Marc:Obviously, I'm doing it because it occupies some of my time that I should be using to do other things, like writing, perhaps shopping for something other than slices of cheese.

00:06:56Marc:I'm making cold brewed coffee because I started that project last night.

00:07:03Music

00:07:05Guest:This is a pretty serious fucking deal.

00:07:07Guest:You have the soundproof thing.

00:07:09Marc:So you think this is what you think the inside of my head looks like?

00:07:12Guest:This is exactly what the inside of your head looks like.

00:07:14Guest:Highlighters.

00:07:15Guest:Santa hat.

00:07:16Guest:Holograms.

00:07:18Guest:Pink construction helmet.

00:07:20Marc:Yeah, books.

00:07:20Guest:Look at those troll dolls.

00:07:22Guest:Remember those?

00:07:23Guest:Yeah, I feel like if I went into your brain, it would just be like, oh my god, remember those?

00:07:26Marc:Yeah, yeah, a lot of that.

00:07:28Guest:A lot of just randoms.

00:07:29Marc:There'd be like a whole gymnasium full of women.

00:07:32Marc:Remember them?

00:07:33Come on.

00:07:33Guest:and then just like sort of uh self-help books not too many by the way also duplicates of everything sure you have noah's ark you have like two noah's arks here i happen to be a voice on that pilot the noah's ark pilot that i just received that really that sounds cool well it's a cartoon i had no idea you're becoming more and more famous for your voice how does that feel

00:07:55Marc:Well, it feels a little weird.

00:07:57Marc:Do you feel that?

00:07:58Marc:Do you feel like I'm getting more famous?

00:07:59Guest:Well, I mean, you are definitely getting famous.

00:08:01Marc:Hold on.

00:08:02Marc:Let me turn the air off.

00:08:02Guest:We're going to get serious.

00:08:04Guest:I now have this thing where, you know, normally I always feel like it's interesting and you've been doing this so much longer than me and better than me for longer than me.

00:08:13Marc:I don't know.

00:08:13Marc:Is that true?

00:08:14Guest:Yeah, that is true.

00:08:15Guest:But you know when you tell someone you're a comedian and they're always like, oh my God, do you know Enrique Iglesias?

00:08:21Guest:Yeah.

00:08:21Guest:Or that's what I'm saying.

00:08:22Guest:Gabriel Iglesias.

00:08:23Guest:Yes, whatever.

00:08:23Marc:Enrique Iglesias.

00:08:25Guest:Enrique Iglesias is probably funnier than me.

00:08:28Guest:Yeah.

00:08:29Guest:But I get a lot of, oh my God, do you know Marc Maron?

00:08:31Guest:Get out of here.

00:08:31Guest:Yeah.

00:08:32Guest:Come on.

00:08:32Guest:A lot of that.

00:08:33Guest:A lot of that.

00:08:33Marc:And then do you say I was on his show?

00:08:35Guest:I did say that, but because apparently your show is like the highest rated show.

00:08:40Guest:I hope that happens.

00:08:41Guest:There's a lot of buzz.

00:08:42Marc:Yeah.

00:08:43Guest:How do you feel after doing comedy this long and writing books and being a legend that now there's buzz?

00:08:48Marc:There's buzz after 25 years because I'm doing a show in my garage.

00:08:52Marc:Yeah.

00:08:52Marc:that nobody has any control over.

00:08:54Marc:Finally, I've arrived.

00:08:56Guest:That's what it is.

00:08:56Guest:I feel like that's when comics get successful, when there's no one developing that, when they're finished.

00:09:01Guest:When they're either done or dead.

00:09:04Marc:When they can't get any work.

00:09:06Marc:That's when it happens.

00:09:07Guest:When it's just you casually talking to your friends in your garage.

00:09:09Marc:I hope that you're right.

00:09:11Guest:I don't know.

00:09:11Guest:There is a lot of buzz.

00:09:13Guest:All right, Whitney Cummings.

00:09:13Guest:I was standing in line for an iPhone, and everyone was talking about your podcast.

00:09:18No.

00:09:18Marc:My guest is Whitney Cummings here at the garage at the Cat Ranch.

00:09:21Marc:Whose phone is that?

00:09:21Marc:Is that my phone?

00:09:22Guest:Definitely yours.

00:09:23Guest:Oh, no.

00:09:23Marc:You know what?

00:09:23Marc:It's my computer.

00:09:24Guest:You're the one with the buzz.

00:09:25Guest:You're the one getting calls.

00:09:26Marc:Come on.

00:09:26Marc:Wait.

00:09:27Marc:So you're waiting at the Apple store?

00:09:29Guest:I was waiting in line at the Apple store, and I was standing next to a guy who, look, you have a very hip demographic, just so you know.

00:09:35Guest:Lots of skinny jeans.

00:09:36Marc:Oh, God.

00:09:37Guest:Really?

00:09:38Guest:Vans with no socks.

00:09:38Guest:No.

00:09:39Guest:And someone was like, what do you do?

00:09:41Guest:I was like, I'm a comedian.

00:09:42Guest:They're like, oh, my God.

00:09:42Guest:Do you know Marc Maron?

00:09:43Guest:No.

00:09:43Guest:I was like, yes.

00:09:44Guest:And young guy.

00:09:45Guest:And I was like, yeah.

00:09:46Guest:And then someone else in line, because when you're in

00:09:47Marc:And then what did they say, though?

00:09:49Guest:I hate that guy.

00:09:49Guest:No, they were like, I love that guy.

00:09:50Guest:He's so smart.

00:09:51Guest:And he also said, which I really appreciate.

00:09:54Guest:He's like, I like it when he interviews people, but when they don't talk too much.

00:09:58Guest:Well, that's good.

00:10:00Guest:I thought that was like a perfect sort of thing.

00:10:02Guest:It's just sort of the person you interview is like in a backboard for your own ramblings.

00:10:06Marc:Well, that's the style.

00:10:08Marc:That's the style I've created.

00:10:09Guest:Yeah, you do a show where people come on the show and interview you.

00:10:12Guest:Yeah, that's fine with me.

00:10:13Marc:Every episode.

00:10:14Marc:Well, I'm glad I have buzz at the Apple Store online.

00:10:16Guest:You do?

00:10:16Guest:Well, because then you interview some really pretty high profile people.

00:10:19Guest:People that like don't even do like the Tonight Show on Letterman.

00:10:21Guest:You got like...

00:10:22Marc:Yeah, I get people that, yeah, it's odd who I get.

00:10:25Marc:But, you know, I had a fight to get you.

00:10:27Marc:I mean, what did this take?

00:10:27Guest:Oh, my God.

00:10:28Guest:You would think we were like Barack Obama and Beyonce.

00:10:31Guest:Tons of rescheduling.

00:10:32Guest:I know.

00:10:32Marc:Just sort of hour to hour with you.

00:10:34Guest:Yes, that was pretty much.

00:10:35Guest:We changed it maybe 25 times.

00:10:37Marc:Yeah, at least that.

00:10:38Guest:I like to play hard to get.

00:10:39Marc:Oh, do you?

00:10:40Guest:Yeah.

00:10:40Marc:So talk about buzz and heat.

00:10:42Marc:You know, Whitney Cummings is impossible to get on the podcast because she's just too big.

00:10:46Guest:No, I don't even know if it's I'm too big.

00:10:49Guest:I'm just a basket case.

00:10:51Guest:Are you really, though?

00:10:53Guest:Come on.

00:10:54Guest:It's like I have maybe five meetings a week, but for some reason I schedule them all at the same time.

00:10:57Guest:Oh, that happens.

00:10:58Guest:You know what I mean?

00:10:59Marc:Oh, I remember the last time you had something else booked.

00:11:02Guest:I did.

00:11:03Guest:And you forgot.

00:11:03Guest:And I was like, oh, hey, sorry.

00:11:05Guest:For some reason, I have a meeting with the head of NBC.

00:11:08Guest:But I also did you.

00:11:08Guest:I just don't look at my iPhone.

00:11:11Marc:Now, let's be honest.

00:11:12Marc:Let's be honest.

00:11:13Marc:A year or so ago, we worked together.

00:11:14Marc:How long ago was that?

00:11:15Marc:Three years ago?

00:11:16Marc:Two years ago?

00:11:16Marc:Maybe.

00:11:16Marc:In La Jolla?

00:11:17Guest:Something like that.

00:11:18Guest:Yeah.

00:11:18Marc:And you were opening for me.

00:11:19Marc:And now you're selling out stadiums.

00:11:22Yeah.

00:11:22Guest:I only perform in airport hangars now.

00:11:26Guest:Oh, really?

00:11:26Guest:No.

00:11:26Marc:You have to rent them out?

00:11:27Guest:I do.

00:11:29Guest:Standing room only.

00:11:30Marc:But you were funny, and I liked you.

00:11:33Guest:Yeah.

00:11:34Guest:You know what?

00:11:35Guest:That was actually the last enjoyable time I went down to the La Jolla Comedy Store.

00:11:38Guest:How was that place?

00:11:39Guest:Can I say, that is such a hell, and I tell them I will not go down there anymore, because it's just not worth it, because San Diego is racist, and they're all really conservative, like, military people.

00:11:52Marc:Some of them, except for the beach retards.

00:11:54Guest:Yeah, there's, like, cool, there's some, like, and I'm like, that's cool.

00:11:56Guest:The beach tards.

00:11:57Guest:There's, like, yeah, so if I want to look for a husband, that's a perfect place.

00:12:00Marc:Oh, come on.

00:12:00Guest:I am.

00:12:01Guest:But no, but I do going down there.

00:12:03Guest:It's like I remember I went down there when Barack Obama had just gotten elected and I said something that was just like, hey, did anyone vote for Barack Obama?

00:12:09Guest:I didn't say pro con.

00:12:11Guest:Yeah.

00:12:11Guest:Someone in the back was like, you liberal cunt.

00:12:14Guest:No.

00:12:14Guest:Ran towards the stage.

00:12:15Guest:I mean, it's right.

00:12:16Guest:Ran towards the stage.

00:12:17Guest:And you know how good the security is.

00:12:18Guest:The comedy show in La Jolla.

00:12:19Marc:Just comics.

00:12:21Marc:Should we do something?

00:12:21Guest:it's like stoned comics um who you know and so i i and then i had a couple other situations i just feel like they're just rowdy and and they're all in the place is sort of chaos chaotic and weird now if it gets too hot in here there's nothing i can do you're gonna be all right okay no no it's good i like i'm getting swampy already this is ridiculous i i left the air on it's not your fault it's a hundred degrees out even if it was good air conditioning

00:12:45Guest:It wouldn't matter.

00:12:47Marc:But okay, so that was the time we worked together.

00:12:49Marc:But now, I talked to somebody.

00:12:50Marc:Who was it?

00:12:51Marc:I had Natasha Loggero on the live one the other night.

00:12:54Guest:I love Natasha.

00:12:54Marc:Do you?

00:12:55Guest:Love.

00:12:55Marc:Okay.

00:12:56Marc:And she said that you had turned down Last Comic Standing.

00:12:59Marc:Is that true?

00:13:00Guest:That is true.

00:13:00Marc:You turned down?

00:13:01Guest:I turned down to judge it.

00:13:03Marc:Why?

00:13:03Why?

00:13:03Guest:I don't.

00:13:05Guest:That's not for me.

00:13:05Marc:Oh, really?

00:13:06Guest:Yeah.

00:13:07Guest:You're smiling like you have like a wicked smile.

00:13:10Marc:No, it's just because it's interesting because you have you.

00:13:14Marc:You're a very disciplined comic.

00:13:16Marc:You do.

00:13:16Marc:You work hard on your jokes.

00:13:18Marc:I've seen you work hard.

00:13:19Marc:Like, you know, I know that you're out there like a real trooper doing your jokes every night, but that required you to be a dick.

00:13:26Guest:And you're not really a dick.

00:13:28Guest:I wouldn't be a dick, but I just don't believe that I qualify as someone who should be judging other comedians that, number one, maybe have been doing it longer than me.

00:13:36Guest:That's a good point.

00:13:37Guest:You know what I mean?

00:13:39Guest:And I also don't ever look at a comic and say, he sucks.

00:13:43Guest:I'm just like, he's doing something different than me.

00:13:45Guest:I just don't feel comfortable.

00:13:47Guest:I don't believe I'm qualified to say whether someone's funny or not.

00:13:49Marc:You're pretty diplomatic.

00:13:50Marc:It's sort of annoying.

00:13:51Guest:I'm not.

00:13:51Guest:I'm not trying to be diplomatic.

00:13:52Guest:No, no, no, but I know.

00:13:53Guest:And also, here's another thing.

00:13:54Guest:In general, though.

00:13:56Guest:I think the show's corny.

00:13:57Guest:Yeah.

00:13:57Guest:I think the show's embarrassing to comics.

00:13:59Guest:I agree with you.

00:14:00Guest:But I truly do not believe that I'm qualified to say someone else is funny.

00:14:03Guest:Like, if I look at someone, I'm not like, he sucks.

00:14:05Guest:I'm just like, he's doing something different than me.

00:14:07Guest:I mean, the comics that I think are really funny, a lot of people don't think are really funny.

00:14:10Marc:Does your manager still produce it?

00:14:11Guest:He still produces it, but he actually had no idea that I was being offered it.

00:14:16Guest:He didn't want me to do it.

00:14:19Guest:NBC called me directly and asked me about it, and it was funny because I also just don't think it's a forum in which I'm able to be funny.

00:14:26Guest:It didn't seem like a situation where I could do what I do.

00:14:28Marc:You're a joke person.

00:14:29Guest:Yeah, I don't want to sit around and judge people.

00:14:32Guest:Or talk.

00:14:32Guest:Yeah, and also the way that my manager helps me decide if I'm going to do a job or not is he does my Tonight Show intro with that credit in it.

00:14:39Guest:So he did, you know, I was trying to figure out if I should do it or not because Kindler was on it who I love and Geraldo who I love.

00:14:44Guest:And I was like, oh, that sounds like it'd be fun.

00:14:46Guest:Right.

00:14:47Guest:But he said, he's like, ladies and gentlemen, this next woman's a judge on Last Comic Standing, please.

00:14:51Guest:And I was like cringed and was like, oh my God, I can't do that.

00:14:53Guest:That's embarrassing.

00:14:54Guest:Right.

00:14:54Marc:I think it's a good call.

00:14:55Guest:But it's also another thing is that they require you to say no to a certain amount of people.

00:15:00Guest:I mean, it's a TV show.

00:15:01Guest:It's a fucking reality show that's scripted.

00:15:04Guest:So they say, I mean, I don't know Natasha's experience, but they say things like, okay, this next guy, you have to say no because we already have too many yeses.

00:15:09Guest:you know what i mean like our friends some of our friends auditioned for that no i agree with you i can't i think you did the right thing i don't feel comfortable having brody stevens come in and be like no sorry like you know what i mean yeah people that i'm friends it's our show business is already hard enough and we're already uh sort of dickish to each other sometimes why do we why do you got to do it in front of other people on television on television i just i don't know it just wasn't for me and i'm sure natasha made it good and

00:15:32Marc:I don't know.

00:15:33Marc:I've never watched this show.

00:15:34Guest:Never seen that show.

00:15:35Marc:You've never watched it either?

00:15:35Guest:I've never seen it.

00:15:37Guest:I've seen it on like people sometimes post links to their TV things on my Facebook page.

00:15:43Guest:Yeah.

00:15:44Guest:So every now and then if I go through and delete it, I'll see someone.

00:15:46Marc:But it's funny that you're so diplomatic.

00:15:48Guest:You know what?

00:15:49Guest:I'm not diplomatic.

00:15:50Guest:That's truly the way I think about it.

00:15:51Marc:No, I know.

00:15:53Marc:Okay, I'm not using diplomatic as an insult.

00:15:55Guest:Yeah.

00:15:56Guest:Why is that an insult, by the way?

00:15:57Guest:Because you think I'm being condescending.

00:16:00Guest:No, I don't think you're being condescending.

00:16:01Guest:It makes me feel like I'm a pussy or something.

00:16:04Guest:But I'm not.

00:16:05Guest:I'm fine with saying I think the show sucks, I think it's courty, but I do not believe them.

00:16:08Guest:Do you think I've been doing comedy for like five years?

00:16:10Marc:Do you think I qualify to say someone's funny or not?

00:16:13Marc:I meant that you're being diplomatic and that you don't say you don't like comics.

00:16:17Marc:Like, you're just going to say- I don't really.

00:16:20Guest:You know, I used to a lot, but I just don't think- What changed?

00:16:23Guest:You know what?

00:16:24Guest:It's just I don't have any brain space for it.

00:16:27Guest:Like, I just don't care.

00:16:28Guest:For resentment?

00:16:29Guest:Yeah, not even resentment.

00:16:30Guest:I mean, there's no reason.

00:16:31Guest:If someone's doing- I just- I don't feel competitive with other comics, and therefore I don't feel that I should judge them.

00:16:36Marc:Did you ever-

00:16:37Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:16:38Guest:In the beginning, you feel competitive, I think.

00:16:40Marc:But now that you're getting a little.

00:16:41Guest:Not even that, because there's always going to be someone who's better than you.

00:16:44Guest:There's always going to be someone that's more successful than you.

00:16:46Marc:Better in what way?

00:16:47Guest:You know what it is?

00:16:48Guest:But I figured out who the fuck I am.

00:16:50Marc:Right.

00:16:50Guest:So now I'm not, you know, my favorite quote, and I'm really into quotes that I don't know who said them.

00:16:55Guest:Yeah.

00:16:56Guest:This one quote that.

00:16:57Guest:Maybe we can figure it out.

00:16:57Guest:Kind of changed my life.

00:16:58Guest:Get on fucking Wikipedia is that comparison is the worst form of violence against yourself.

00:17:04Marc:Wow.

00:17:05Guest:I know.

00:17:05Guest:I don't know.

00:17:06Marc:Comparison is the worst form of violence.

00:17:08Marc:How about when I hit myself in the head with a hammer?

00:17:11Guest:I don't know.

00:17:12Guest:That's self-love in a lot of circles.

00:17:14Guest:That, to me, is a healthy relationship.

00:17:16Marc:Comparison?

00:17:17Marc:What does it say?

00:17:18Guest:Again, you memorized it.

00:17:19Guest:Comparison is the worst form of violence.

00:17:21Guest:Get yourself.

00:17:21Guest:So I did used to run around and go, she has more than me.

00:17:24Guest:I should have more than her.

00:17:25Guest:But that is just a way to self-abuse.

00:17:27Marc:Oh, that's very sweet.

00:17:29Marc:You're right.

00:17:30Marc:Well, you're a very self-aware person.

00:17:31Marc:You've done some work on yourself.

00:17:32Marc:I noticed that the last time we hung out.

00:17:35Guest:But I did find that I wouldn't want to professionally do something that I try to not do in private in terms of comparing and judging other people.

00:17:44Guest:you know, hopefully I'm going to make all the money I want to make, but I don't want to run around defending what I'm doing all the time.

00:17:49Guest:I'm, I know I look a hundred, but I'm actually pretty young.

00:17:51Guest:So it's like, I don't like, it's one of those things where I felt like I would constantly be in comedy clubs and people would be like, are you doing last coming standing?

00:17:57Guest:Yeah, but I'm just doing it because I'm like, I don't want to feel like I would have felt so defensive and embarrassed.

00:18:01Marc:Right, but you don't, like, in terms of growing and becoming a better person and doing comedy, because I remember working with you.

00:18:09Marc:I know we went running together.

00:18:10Guest:We did, and we were running from something.

00:18:13Marc:Yeah, well, that's always.

00:18:14Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:18:15Marc:And we couldn't talk about it.

00:18:16Guest:At all.

00:18:17Guest:It was vague.

00:18:18Marc:It was very vague, but it was intense.

00:18:21Marc:A vague force that came from within us.

00:18:23Marc:It was.

00:18:24Marc:It was something we were running from, and we went and bought healthy food.

00:18:27Guest:We did.

00:18:27Guest:We went to that health food store.

00:18:28Marc:Yeah, and we talked about yoga.

00:18:30Guest:We did.

00:18:31Marc:And you have nice skin.

00:18:32Guest:Thank you.

00:18:33Guest:Everybody says that, which is so weird because I didn't always have nice skin, so now I'm adjusting to the fact that I do because everyone seems to think that.

00:18:41Marc:But you're like a comic, so you've got to be pretty fucked up somehow.

00:18:45Marc:Yeah.

00:18:45Guest:Yeah, you know, here's that theory.

00:18:48Guest:Where do you come from?

00:18:49Guest:I obsess about that a lot, about the idea that comics are fucked up.

00:18:52Guest:But I think everyone's fucked up.

00:18:53Guest:I think doctors and truck drivers.

00:18:55Marc:See that again with the diplomacy.

00:18:56Guest:Oh, I'm not trying to be.

00:18:57Guest:I'm trying to defend, because I'm about to go into a whole thing of probably why I'm crazy.

00:19:01Guest:I just didn't want to umbrella say that all comics are crazy.

00:19:04Marc:But wait, what kind of crazy are you?

00:19:06Marc:I couldn't quite figure it out.

00:19:07Marc:What did you do before comedy?

00:19:08Guest:Well, I think my.

00:19:09Guest:Where'd you go to college?

00:19:10Guest:By the way, you pan in Philadelphia.

00:19:12Guest:Let's talk about it.

00:19:12Marc:You went to Penn in Philadelphia.

00:19:14Guest:It's good school.

00:19:14Guest:Comics, because it's funny because everybody says comics are damaged.

00:19:17Guest:Comics are damaged.

00:19:18Guest:I always defend comics and say, you know what?

00:19:19Guest:Fuck you.

00:19:20Guest:Comics are just smart and passionate about shit.

00:19:23Guest:And you're a perfect example of this.

00:19:24Guest:The kind of person who you care about shit that no one else cares about and you're haunted by things that people just don't think twice about.

00:19:32Marc:Right.

00:19:32Marc:That's called obsessive and depressed.

00:19:33Guest:Obsessive and compulsive.

00:19:36Yeah.

00:19:36Guest:Latching on to me.

00:19:38Marc:No, I think you're right.

00:19:39Marc:I think that I'm not saying that comics are damaged necessarily.

00:19:42Marc:I do think we're overly sensitive.

00:19:44Marc:I do think that, you know, most of us have a similar sort of character flaw in that we're a little more needy than other people.

00:19:52Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:19:52Guest:neurotic maybe I think we're all very smart yeah I think that and I never want to say this about myself but I do think most comics successful ones especially ones I admire have above average intelligence you think so yes I completely do really yeah I think comics matter more than politicians matter more than journalists

00:20:09Marc:Well, I think we have the capacity to be more honest.

00:20:12Guest:Yeah.

00:20:12Guest:I don't know about journalism.

00:20:14Guest:If I had an eight-year-old kid, I'd rather him watch you do an hour than have him watch the news.

00:20:21Guest:I think he'd learn more.

00:20:21Guest:About what?

00:20:23Guest:Well, as long as you're not talking about murderous impulses.

00:20:26Guest:If you're talking about politics.

00:20:28Marc:Not only does it suck in the world, but apparently it sucks inside of us, too.

00:20:32Marc:Is that what you want to teach your kid?

00:20:34Guest:Yeah, it's completely true.

00:20:34Marc:There are battles to be fought on every front, within and without.

00:20:38Marc:Yeah.

00:20:38Marc:So you went to Penn and where'd you grow up?

00:20:40Guest:I did go to Penn.

00:20:40Guest:I'm from D.C., Washington, D.C.

00:20:42Guest:originally.

00:20:42Marc:Were your parents in politics?

00:20:44Guest:They were not at all.

00:20:45Guest:They weren't.

00:20:46Guest:My dad was kind of sort of just a vague venture capitalist.

00:20:52Marc:I thought you were going to say a vague presence in my life.

00:20:54Marc:He was sometimes there.

00:20:55Guest:By the way, that too.

00:20:57Guest:He did come and go randomly.

00:21:00Guest:Had many wives.

00:21:03Marc:Really?

00:21:04Guest:Yeah.

00:21:06Guest:But you know what?

00:21:07Marc:I'm assuming that your parents are divorced.

00:21:09Guest:Divorced.

00:21:09Guest:Yeah, they were divorced when I was very young.

00:21:10Marc:You didn't have wives behind your mother's back.

00:21:12Guest:Well, we're Mormon.

00:21:15Guest:No, he's had four wives since.

00:21:17Guest:really but yeah but my mom worked which is something I really appreciate but she was always gone so I was just always at home I did have to work very hard to get attention which I still do at the comedy store every night you know so that was a trooper that started early no I mean um and I yeah tumultuous definitely did a lot of drugs as a kid and just I you know I kind of had to raise my dad has four wives

00:21:35Guest:He had four wives and numerous mistresses.

00:21:38Marc:Is he still around?

00:21:40Guest:He's still around.

00:21:40Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:21:41Guest:My dad looks exactly like Dan Aykroyd, and he is probably the most charming person you'll ever meet.

00:21:46Guest:I would guess if he's had four wives.

00:21:49Guest:Exactly.

00:21:50Guest:You cannot stay mad at him.

00:21:51Guest:He's the kind of guy who will do something really egregious.

00:21:53Marc:Then why'd they leave?

00:21:54Guest:Well, I think they were forced out.

00:21:58Guest:Exactly.

00:21:59Guest:I was like, oh, you married someone else.

00:22:00Guest:I guess we should break up.

00:22:01Guest:I think that's kind of how it is.

00:22:03Guest:But I found out I had sisters I didn't know about.

00:22:05Guest:Really?

00:22:06Guest:Brothers.

00:22:06Guest:Yeah.

00:22:07Guest:How many?

00:22:08Guest:I keep finding.

00:22:08Guest:I know of like four sisters.

00:22:10Guest:brothers and sisters that i've never met that are just like mistresses and random yeah wait from un from wives from people that weren't his wives uh that were not his wives yeah just oh my god so he was just out there spreading his seed out there fucking doing it yeah how'd you find that i don't want to talk too much about this because i already have random family members asking me for money that i've never met are you serious you know what i mean well because i mean they see you on tv they're like give me some money totally your nephew

00:22:34Guest:you know and wants to go to private school did they find you on Facebook that and calling and calling my sister and my brother and so you have you have a sister and a brother from your two parents yes my my brother's my half brother he lived in England now he lives in Dubai randomly he's very smart a lot of comedy gigs in Dubai from out of here you know

00:22:52Guest:You know what I did do stand-up in Dubai?

00:22:54Guest:You did?

00:22:54Guest:Randomly with Ahmed Ahmed.

00:22:56Guest:You did?

00:22:56Guest:Yeah, he organized some thing over there, and we went over there twice.

00:22:59Guest:You went there?

00:23:00Marc:Did you have to wear a thing?

00:23:00Guest:You know what?

00:23:01Guest:I love this.

00:23:02Guest:This is fascinating, and you'll probably have a lot to say about this.

00:23:04Guest:I did not have to wear a burqa.

00:23:05Guest:I went over there thinking I was going to have to be completely covered up.

00:23:08Guest:I literally came off the plane in a Snuggie.

00:23:10Guest:Like, I thought I was going to be- The women dress like whores.

00:23:14Guest:It's like the comedy star.

00:23:15Guest:Dubai, okay.

00:23:15Guest:And the women dress like whores.

00:23:16Guest:Right.

00:23:16Guest:Dubai is kind of like the Vegas.

00:23:18Guest:It's like the Vegas over there.

00:23:19Guest:And it's funny because I asked this woman because there were all these women that were just in sluts like bikinis, fucking camel.

00:23:24Guest:I was stunned.

00:23:26Guest:And then I did see a lot of women that were in their 20s in the full garb.

00:23:30Guest:And I said to them, I was like, you know, is this oppressive to you?

00:23:34Guest:And they said, they were like, no, we think we choose this.

00:23:36Guest:Women in America we think are oppressed because they have to get plastic surgery and they're judged by their body.

00:23:40Guest:They had some really good fucking points.

00:23:42Guest:But the women that were dressed really scantily, I was like, oh my God, what are you doing?

00:23:45Guest:Are you allowed?

00:23:46Guest:Are you going to be stoned?

00:23:48Guest:And literally this one girl looked at me dead serious.

00:23:50Guest:She was like, it's fucking hot.

00:23:54Guest:Because it's like 130 degrees.

00:23:56Guest:And I was like, you know what?

00:23:57Guest:That's a pretty good point.

00:23:58Guest:I think I'm trying to attach too much meaning to this.

00:24:00Marc:But those women would go put that stuff on?

00:24:03Guest:Some of them did.

00:24:04Guest:It's a choice over there.

00:24:05Guest:It's absolutely Dubai in Dubai.

00:24:07Guest:Well, here's the thing.

00:24:08Guest:Dubai is like an amalgamation of all those Middle Eastern countries, Saudi Arabia and Egypt and Jordan and all those places.

00:24:14Guest:So it's like, you know, it's it's it's there's there's varying levels of oppression.

00:24:18Guest:And I was asking someone about the most oppressive places.

00:24:20Guest:And they said in Saudi Arabia and the most conservative places, women can't drive.

00:24:25Guest:They can't read and they're not allowed to work.

00:24:27Marc:Right.

00:24:28Guest:And I was like, that sounds awesome.

00:24:30Marc:Does someone pay you to do that?

00:24:32Marc:What do you mean?

00:24:32Guest:I know, literally, I was like, that's impressive?

00:24:34Guest:Like, that sounds amazing.

00:24:36Guest:So it did kind of blow my mind.

00:24:38Marc:Yeah, but then I guess you have to be part of a... I don't know how it works over there, and I don't want to be racist.

00:24:44Guest:Yeah.

00:24:44Marc:But it seems like there's a lot of people with a lot of fucking money.

00:24:47Guest:A lot of money.

00:24:47Guest:They are so incredibly rich.

00:24:49Guest:It's a ridiculous amount of money.

00:24:50Guest:But there is, but that's the top 1%.

00:24:52Guest:Everyone else is broke.

00:24:53Marc:I talked to Aaron Cater.

00:24:54Marc:I think he did a private gig at some guy's house.

00:24:56Guest:For like 30 grand or something.

00:24:57Guest:Yeah, they have all kinds of money.

00:24:58Guest:Just to come over and eat dinner with them.

00:24:59Guest:Well, it's funny because my whole thing, that's my same thing with colleges.

00:25:02Guest:I'm always like, do you guys not know how much we normally get paid?

00:25:05Guest:You know what I mean?

00:25:07Guest:Apparently there is some, someone was telling me, like a website that tells you what comics quotes are.

00:25:11Guest:Yeah, I know.

00:25:13Guest:Fascinating, right?

00:25:14Marc:I'd like to know what mine are.

00:25:15Guest:I want to see it, but I don't want to see it.

00:25:17Guest:No one ever pays them.

00:25:18Guest:I know completely.

00:25:19Guest:But I just wonder why they think they have to pay us 50 grand.

00:25:23Marc:Yeah, sometimes.

00:25:23Marc:Have you ever had that situation where you're paid money and you don't feel like you should take it?

00:25:28Guest:You don't feel like it because you just didn't do well?

00:25:30Marc:Yeah, because you're like, I don't know.

00:25:32Marc:He just takes some money back.

00:25:33Guest:Yeah, yeah, seriously.

00:25:34Guest:Did you ever do that?

00:25:35Guest:You know, no.

00:25:36Guest:Do you ever take?

00:25:36Guest:My whole thing is, yeah.

00:25:38Guest:My whole thing is, if I did bad, the worst I do, you should have to pay me more.

00:25:42Guest:Oh, really?

00:25:42Guest:Because it's such an unpleasant experience.

00:25:44Marc:Clearly, you know, why'd you put me through this?

00:25:45Guest:Yeah, like if I'm bombing horribly.

00:25:48Guest:Well, because, you know, those nightmare gigs, like corporate gigs and stuff, where they're like, you get there, and they're like, so anything we can get for you?

00:25:54Guest:And I'm like, oh, just, you know, we're all good.

00:25:57Guest:Oh, you need a mic stand?

00:25:58Guest:Wait, you need a microphone?

00:26:00Marc:I bought a mic stand.

00:26:01Guest:Wait, did you?

00:26:02Marc:Yeah.

00:26:02Guest:Oh, look, you did.

00:26:03Guest:But you know sometimes they have those weird like- That's why I bought that.

00:26:06Guest:Those crazy ones that are like from musicians.

00:26:09Guest:The worst.

00:26:09Guest:What are those?

00:26:10Guest:And then sometimes they're like, oh, you needed a microphone?

00:26:12Marc:Yeah.

00:26:13Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:26:14Guest:Oh, shit.

00:26:14Guest:Sorry.

00:26:15Marc:Did you want chairs?

00:26:15Marc:Do you want people to sit in chairs?

00:26:16Guest:Is that cool?

00:26:17Guest:There's a college gig.

00:26:18Guest:There's always a college gig.

00:26:19Guest:The worst.

00:26:20Guest:Or, by the way, corporate gigs.

00:26:21Guest:I did one recently where I get- What do you do at a corporate gig?

00:26:23Guest:I never get asked for the corporate gigs.

00:26:25Guest:I was hosting it.

00:26:25Guest:I don't get asked to do a lot of them.

00:26:27Guest:I hosted it.

00:26:29Guest:And they're like, okay, great.

00:26:29Guest:So you're going to host it.

00:26:30Guest:And first, can you call out these bingo numbers?

00:26:33Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:26:34Guest:pull something out of a pot like a raffle and then right before I went up to perform the guy goes okay Whitney Cummings is about to come up perform but now just so you know the buffet just opened and the poker tables open in the back so there was just a mass exodus of people and then I was about there was a dance floor between me and the tables about 50 feet so it's like if you're gonna do that kind of shit I'll take the 20 grand

00:26:55Marc:How much you made, good for you.

00:26:59Marc:I did one of those exactly like that, where there were two buffet lines, there was a dance floor, there was an ice sculpture at the end.

00:27:04Guest:It's bright light.

00:27:05Guest:It's like daytime.

00:27:06Guest:They don't care.

00:27:07Guest:No, don't care at all.

00:27:08Guest:It's like a corporate party or something.

00:27:10Marc:So what do you think most of your visibility is from now, Chelsea?

00:27:13Guest:Don't you Chelsea is really fucking powerful?

00:27:16Guest:I mean she really I mean powerful in terms of people really watch that show you tour with it What do you go on those?

00:27:22Guest:I do some of the comedians of Chelsea lately tours how do they sell good?

00:27:25Guest:They sell really really well They always have like you know a couple of the writers and then they'll have like a big headliner to you know which and and it's great You know Chelsea's been so supportive and it's like because and I'm sure you talked about it Natasha It's like to have a woman

00:27:38Guest:you know support other women is really awesome and rare and cool right now some I'm actually psyched to be a part of it and I I did so many cities this year I did like 60 cities this year that now I just want to do kind of like one-nighters and those are one night you did 60 cities in yeah you mean weeks win 60 different cities like one night some one-nighter so I was this year I did Chelsea's tour I did a tour with Dennis Leary I did this other college tour you did the rescue me tour yeah yeah are you on that show

00:28:03Guest:I'm not on the show, but Dennis just asked me to do it.

00:28:07Guest:It was cool.

00:28:07Guest:So I would do a Monday night, a Tuesday night at a random theater college and then do a weekend.

00:28:11Marc:So it was you, Lenny Clack?

00:28:13Guest:It was Lenny Clack.

00:28:15Guest:Adam Ferrara.

00:28:17Guest:And then a couple other people kind of switched in and out.

00:28:19Guest:Lenny Clack.

00:28:20Guest:Lenny Clack.

00:28:20Guest:He is funny.

00:28:21Guest:I know.

00:28:22Guest:By the way, the nicest guy.

00:28:23Marc:I knew Lenny when I was starting out in Boston.

00:28:25Guest:I was going to say.

00:28:26Marc:I knew Barry Katz when he was a comic.

00:28:28Guest:oh my god that's so embarrassing did you your manager i remember when he was a comic i used to do he started me i did my first gigs for him when he booked one-nighters out of a basement in alston i know everyone hates him but he loves you yeah i have nothing you know people you know a lot of people have bad things to say about him and whatever but he's good for i i know he's yeah but he's oddly really good for me

00:28:50Marc:The one thing I know about him is I saw where he started.

00:28:52Marc:I saw where he is now.

00:28:53Guest:Yes.

00:28:54Marc:So whatever the fuck he did, you know, he did something right and he worked hard to get there.

00:28:57Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:28:58Guest:You know what?

00:28:59Guest:It's a dirty business.

00:28:59Guest:It is a dirty business.

00:29:00Guest:It's gangsters.

00:29:01Guest:It's, I mean, and I tell him sometimes, like, Barry, you need to have some fucking tact.

00:29:05Guest:Like, you know, he didn't come up through.

00:29:07Guest:But there's so many managers and agents and stuff who were, like, went to law school or business school and now they know nothing about comedy.

00:29:12Guest:Barry loves comedy.

00:29:14Guest:I know.

00:29:14Guest:You know what I mean?

00:29:15Guest:Yeah.

00:29:15Guest:Yeah, he does.

00:29:15Guest:Means a lot to me.

00:29:16Guest:And he's actually a really good manager because I think a lot of people ask, and I don't know if you ever talk about this with the girls that you interview about, like, why are women not as funny as men?

00:29:24Guest:Why aren't there more female comics?

00:29:25Guest:My theory about it is that it's not that women aren't funny, it's just that women get seen before they're ready.

00:29:30Guest:it takes a couple years to get fucking good and to figure out what your point of view is, and I feel like the best managers of women just slow their women down.

00:29:38Guest:So Barry, for the first three years I was doing comedy, he wouldn't let me showcase for anything.

00:29:42Guest:He wouldn't let me do anything.

00:29:45Guest:He's like, just get good.

00:29:47Guest:And he said, when you kill 10 times in a row, I'll get you showcases.

00:29:52Marc:When I watch you, at first when I knew you a couple years ago,

00:29:58Marc:You always had jokes, but now you seem to have... I don't know what it is up there.

00:30:02Marc:Your point of view, you don't seem to be affected by what the audience is doing.

00:30:08Marc:You seem to work so hard.

00:30:10Guest:I'm a machine gun.

00:30:12Guest:It's not a give or take.

00:30:14Guest:It's not a...

00:30:15Guest:Am I wrong?

00:30:17Guest:You know what?

00:30:17Guest:It's funny because it's like.

00:30:18Marc:But I imagine when they do connect with you, you must feel elated.

00:30:22Guest:Yeah.

00:30:22Marc:But I mean, I see the way your process is.

00:30:24Marc:You just you get up there.

00:30:25Marc:It doesn't matter who's there or who went on before you or what the audience looks like.

00:30:29Marc:It's just like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

00:30:32Guest:Well, it's to me.

00:30:33Guest:It's yeah.

00:30:34Guest:I like to take a rape approach.

00:30:36Guest:To them?

00:30:38Guest:To them.

00:30:38Guest:No, it's true.

00:30:39Guest:It's interesting because I do.

00:30:40Guest:I tend to... I'm trying to think.

00:30:42Guest:People... I never know how to describe my own stand-up.

00:30:45Guest:It seems so narcissistic and lame.

00:30:46Guest:But when people have described me, they describe it a couple ways that I guess are probably true.

00:30:50Guest:They say, like, I'm a machine gun, that I take a very surgical approach.

00:30:55Guest:You know what I mean?

00:30:56Guest:A lot of people get on stage and they're going, okay, the person behind me just bombed.

00:30:59Guest:So what's going on?

00:31:00Guest:Why do you guys suck?

00:31:01Guest:Like, I don't acknowledge that kind of energy in the room.

00:31:04Guest:I just kind of make it...

00:31:05Marc:Yeah, I think what you do, you're just an aggressive joke teller.

00:31:10Marc:And it's become your personality, which is sort of interesting because your timing and the way, I mean, you write everything.

00:31:17Marc:All your jokes are written and you're constantly, you just don't go joke to joke to joke to joke.

00:31:22Marc:But after a while, after a few years of doing that, you now have a certain edge to yourself.

00:31:26Marc:You have a certain charm.

00:31:27Marc:You're comfortable in your craft.

00:31:29Marc:So it's not like you're really speaking.

00:31:31Guest:Yeah.

00:31:31Marc:from a point of view, but you definitely tell jokes from a point of view.

00:31:35Marc:You have a way of doing it.

00:31:37Guest:You know what it is?

00:31:37Guest:It's that OR timing.

00:31:39Guest:I know, yeah.

00:31:39Guest:It's that original room timing.

00:31:40Guest:From the comedy story.

00:31:41Guest:Yeah, exactly.

00:31:42Guest:You have to take control because it's like one of those things, and Kevin Christie and I were talking about it, about how if you give them a second, they will heckle you, they will get up to the back.

00:31:52Guest:You know what I mean?

00:31:52Guest:It's just one of those things where it's like you just can take no prisoners.

00:31:55Guest:It's like I do try to kind of take control.

00:31:58Marc:Right.

00:31:58Marc:You know, and then when I think then when it's easy, it must be feel great.

00:32:02Marc:I mean, I didn't see your special, but I imagine they were all there to see you.

00:32:04Guest:So it was probably I was going to say, I think the dynamic is changing a little bit because since people kind of start to know me, I can take a breath and I might really open up.

00:32:13Guest:Yeah, and I've started, you know what, writing more.

00:32:16Guest:I don't know if that's going to happen, but I have started writing more on stage.

00:32:21Guest:Right.

00:32:21Guest:Instead of knowing what I'm going to do and just plowing through it, it's more fucking around.

00:32:25Marc:The fear is going away.

00:32:27Guest:Well, because there's still a lot of fear.

00:32:29Guest:Don't get me wrong.

00:32:31Guest:But, yeah, the fear is lessened, and I give myself the benefit of the doubt, and the crowd does too.

00:32:35Marc:But what's respectable about your process, whether or not, I don't know,

00:32:41Marc:For sure.

00:32:41Marc:But like when I came up in New York, you know, people like Attell and people like Louie or people like myself, what you would do is you do as many sets as you could in a night.

00:32:49Guest:Yeah.

00:32:49Marc:And that's harder to do in this city.

00:32:51Marc:Yeah.

00:32:51Marc:You do it somehow.

00:32:53Marc:I mean, like the one thing I know about you is that it reminds me of Attell in a way is that you just keep pushing to the point where like, you know, you just you want your soul to have a callus on it.

00:33:03Marc:So you could.

00:33:04Guest:Why do I think that's a compliment?

00:33:06Guest:I don't know.

00:33:07Guest:I was like, oh.

00:33:07Marc:And so like, you know, so it's just there's nothing in between you and the jokes and you're never going to be left vulnerable up there.

00:33:13Marc:It just seemed that you were constructing this armor made out of jokes.

00:33:17Guest:That's interesting.

00:33:18Marc:That you could just go up anywhere and just like bang and leave, you know, intact.

00:33:24Marc:Because I never get the feeling that you see I've tried to hurt you and I've not been able to get through.

00:33:30Marc:I'd like to know that you're hurtable.

00:33:32Guest:I think that I – well, it's the people that have the most armor are the ones that are most hurtable.

00:33:37Guest:Yeah.

00:33:38Guest:That's the one with the soft center.

00:33:39Guest:That's why we have it in the first place, I guess.

00:33:41Guest:But, you know, I don't – it's not so much – and I think that my new – because after just doing this hour, my new thing is all about vulnerability and honesty.

00:33:51Guest:Not that I haven't been honest, but I do tend to hide behind good jokes.

00:33:56Guest:Yeah.

00:33:56Guest:You know what I mean?

00:33:56Marc:That's true.

00:33:57Marc:Yeah, I see that.

00:33:58Marc:Because, like, you know, if you're going to really be a person with a point of view, it seems like some of your jokes about women and men are, you know, it's not that they're predictable.

00:34:05Marc:They're your approach to them.

00:34:07Guest:They're an original take on something a lot of people, you know, have done.

00:34:10Guest:And I think kind of a specific take.

00:34:11Guest:But now it's like, I guess.

00:34:13Guest:And my other thing that I'm really concerned about is I try to never be self-indulgent on stage.

00:34:19Guest:I'm really careful about that.

00:34:21Guest:Because someone asked me recently.

00:34:21Marc:You just want to tell jokes.

00:34:22Guest:You know what?

00:34:23Guest:I just want to I do want to give people their money's worth.

00:34:25Guest:And I do remind myself that this is a job.

00:34:27Guest:And, you know, when I see people go up on stage with their notebooks and they're like, oh, what should I talk about?

00:34:32Guest:It's just like you have 15 minutes up there.

00:34:34Guest:And I just I just take every minute I'm on stage very seriously, I guess.

00:34:37Guest:And I always am like and a lot of times when I plow through because it's like I want to get to the new stuff and I want to like.

00:34:42Guest:you know, get better and build.

00:34:44Guest:But it's also, you know, someone said to me recently, they were like, you know, they said to me, they were like someone who's not a comedian was like, so basically being a comedian is that you're just asking someone to pay you $25 to listen to you talk for an hour.

00:34:57Guest:I thought about that and it really hit me because I was like, not only am I asking someone to pay me 25 bucks to listen, there are two drinks and food and valet.

00:35:06Guest:Someone's probably paying $120 to see you perform.

00:35:09Guest:To be entertaining.

00:35:09Guest:Yeah, my thing is I don't want to go up there and be like, so what the fuck, man, where are you from?

00:35:13Guest:Oh, man, look at this.

00:35:14Marc:Right, well, crowd work is what it is.

00:35:16Guest:You know what I mean?

00:35:18Guest:I do think there's something to be said for being comfortable and in the moment.

00:35:22Marc:So you're an entertainer.

00:35:23Marc:I just I just you want them to get through your money.

00:35:25Guest:I just don't want people to walk away.

00:35:27Guest:I just I just take it seriously.

00:35:28Guest:I guess I want.

00:35:29Marc:But I mean, one of the things that like I notice about you and I don't because you're obviously intelligent.

00:35:34Marc:You're sophisticated.

00:35:36Marc:You're ambitious.

00:35:37Guest:Thank you.

00:35:38Marc:You are.

00:35:39Marc:And and but like what I want to know is that is being ambitious.

00:35:43Guest:Just real.

00:35:44Guest:Why is that all of a sudden lame?

00:35:45Marc:It's not lame.

00:35:46Guest:Really?

00:35:47Marc:No, no.

00:35:47Marc:I don't think there's anything lame about it.

00:35:49Marc:I think that it's a matter of how people hide it.

00:35:54Marc:Anyone who's trying to do this is ambitious.

00:35:56Marc:It's just some people are more focused than others.

00:35:58Marc:And people who are ambitious that aren't able to facilitate anything happening get bitter.

00:36:02Marc:And then they're ambitiously bitter.

00:36:04Marc:And then you become the enemy, the people that are actually activating their ambitions.

00:36:08Guest:where it's like it's it's like and it's not even i don't like know how ambitious i am but it's like you know a lot of times people will um you know i go to the commie store and i go and i do my spot and i leave right and everyone's like oh she's so ambitious she's so did that i'm just like no i'm just not gonna hang out around the toxic cesspool of negativity and hate like why does that make me i'm going home to go to bed i'm not going i'm not networking like i'm not going to some hollywood party to network like i'm

00:36:33Marc:sleeping yeah but it's weird though because some of your jokes do come from uh not a negative place but they're dark jokes a lot of them are a little bit uh a little bit hard yeah sorry so you don't want to hang around the negativity in the darkness yet sometimes you'll spew it i am no no i'm a negative toxic

00:36:49Guest:dark person you're not toxic but i am definitely not but i just don't you know because i think a lot it's weird because i really feel like people say you're so hollywood because i don't hang out after my sets and i go to do another spot i think that's the opposite of being hollywood i don't want to sit around with a bunch of comics who are going so what are you doing what do you do next what club are you playing what do you have a tv deal who's your agent yeah i just yeah i just don't want to talk shit about other comics like i just it makes me uncomfortable do you get a lot of you feel like there's a lot of hate coming at you

00:37:15Guest:You know, it's weird.

00:37:17Marc:Because you're also pretty and a comic.

00:37:19Guest:Here's another thing.

00:37:19Marc:That's a difficult combination.

00:37:21Guest:Really?

00:37:22Guest:I honestly, I'm sure there is a lot.

00:37:24Guest:I don't feel it because then again, I also don't hang out at clubs.

00:37:28Marc:That's another way to avoid it.

00:37:29Guest:It's another way to avoid it.

00:37:30Guest:But a lot of people, but I did get a lot last year.

00:37:32Guest:My favorite, oh, and we'll get to the backhanded compliments in a minute because I know you and I love backhanded compliments.

00:37:37Guest:Well, first of all, you love my mom watched my hour special.

00:37:39Guest:She watched me for an hour talk.

00:37:42Guest:Yeah.

00:37:42Guest:She calls me up.

00:37:43Guest:She goes, I just watched your special.

00:37:45Guest:I love the background.

00:37:47Guest:No, come on.

00:37:48Guest:I swear to God.

00:37:48Guest:I can actually read you some emails from her.

00:37:50Guest:And then she sent me an email and she goes, great transitions.

00:37:56Guest:You really blew through a lot of stuff.

00:37:59Guest:Everything but good job.

00:38:01Guest:No, everything except what was going on with my standup or material.

00:38:07Marc:That's hilarious.

00:38:07Marc:Yeah.

00:38:07Guest:She's pretty amazing.

00:38:09Guest:But I had someone even when people try to sort of like I had a comic come up to me after the Joan Rivers roast.

00:38:16Guest:Yeah.

00:38:16Marc:And which you were great.

00:38:17Guest:Thank you.

00:38:17Guest:That was a great.

00:38:19Marc:That was a great joke.

00:38:20Marc:Now, go ahead.

00:38:21Guest:Thank you so much.

00:38:22Guest:But someone came up to me and goes, this was his way of insulting me, but also pretending like he wasn't.

00:38:28Guest:He was like, yeah, I was just at her emotional comedy magic club.

00:38:30Guest:Everyone was sitting around talking trash about how you didn't write your own jokes, but I defended you.

00:38:34Guest:Like, that was his way of talking trash to me to my face.

00:38:37Guest:Well, did you write the jokes?

00:38:39Guest:I was a writer on The Roast before I was a performer on it.

00:38:42Guest:I wrote for Flavor Flav and Saget.

00:38:44Guest:And I only write my own jokes, so it's kind of a bummer.

00:38:47Marc:Do you write all your own jokes?

00:38:49Guest:All my own jokes.

00:38:49Marc:From the beginning?

00:38:50Guest:From the beginning.

00:38:51Guest:You mean for stand-up?

00:38:52Guest:Yeah.

00:38:52Guest:Absolutely.

00:38:53Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:38:54Guest:Oh, yeah, for sure.

00:38:55Marc:Okay.

00:38:55Guest:I've never taken jokes.

00:38:56Marc:Well, clear it up.

00:38:57Guest:I know it's ever, but you know what else?

00:38:58Marc:But it's not a matter of taking jokes.

00:38:59Marc:See, like, this is a weird thing.

00:39:00Guest:But no one's ever offered.

00:39:01Guest:Here's another thing.

00:39:02Guest:I used to write for comics.

00:39:03Marc:Right.

00:39:03Guest:I used to write for a lot of comics for a long time, and I can't anymore.

00:39:06Marc:What, just sell them jokes?

00:39:07Guest:But, yeah, sell them jokes.

00:39:08Guest:People say, here's my hour.

00:39:09Guest:Just punch it up.

00:39:10Guest:Or just write something about my two kids or, you know, different versions.

00:39:14Marc:Yeah, I don't understand.

00:39:15Marc:Like, it's a very strange thing, the different levels of weirdness that occur.

00:39:20Marc:Because, you know, you get guys who are established comics that, after a certain point, expect people to write for them and have writers for them.

00:39:27Marc:That's part of the business and everyone knows that.

00:39:30Marc:Completely different.

00:39:31Marc:It's just... It is what it is.

00:39:32Marc:If you are a defined personality and you need to generate material... I just interviewed... By the way, Larry the Cable Guy.

00:39:37Guest:Perfect example.

00:39:37Guest:So easy to write jokes for.

00:39:39Guest:Just says, hey, write me jokes on the... But here's what I want to get at, though.

00:39:42Marc:What I want to get at is that kind of comment when you've got young comics or your peers saying that I defended you for not writing your own jokes.

00:39:49Guest:It's like...

00:39:50Marc:It's almost like you can't win.

00:39:52Marc:You're not stealing jokes.

00:39:53Marc:If you buy jokes, you buy jokes.

00:39:55Marc:It's your fucking business.

00:39:56Marc:But there's this idea that everybody has to write their own material, yet everyone's heroes.

00:40:00Marc:Very few guys, once they get to a certain level, write their own fucking jokes.

00:40:05Guest:Yeah, but it's, but there's also like the Louis CKs and the Attels and the Louis Blacks and stuff who it's like, you know, that's, that would be the, the more admirable.

00:40:12Marc:No, I understand that, but I understand the criticism.

00:40:14Marc:Yeah, but it's like, but all those guys you mentioned, well, not Attel, but they're, they're very specific personalities who write from a, and do long form material.

00:40:24Guest:Right.

00:40:24Guest:And by the way, these are also guys who write for other people.

00:40:27Guest:Louie writes for Chris Rock.

00:40:28Guest:He has.

00:40:28Guest:Exactly.

00:40:29Guest:It has before.

00:40:30Guest:So it's like, you know, I don't know.

00:40:31Guest:For me, I just I don't think not that there isn't our funny writers.

00:40:36Guest:I know.

00:40:36Marc:I wonder why the fuck you would get attacked like that.

00:40:39Guest:You know what?

00:40:39Guest:I don't know.

00:40:40Guest:It's fine.

00:40:41Guest:I'm sure everybody gets attacked on some level.

00:40:43Guest:It doesn't necessarily affect me because I know the truth.

00:40:46Guest:And, you know, I used to be.

00:40:47Marc:I wonder if it has to do with you being a chick.

00:40:48Guest:Yeah, but you know what?

00:40:49Guest:Maybe.

00:40:49Guest:Because I'm like, if you need that to make yourself feel better about the fact that I did well, then you can have it.

00:40:55Guest:If you need that delusion, if you need to convince yourself that someone else wrote for me.

00:40:59Guest:But it is just like... Because I see your tweets.

00:41:01Marc:Unless you're sitting there with someone you're writing with.

00:41:03Marc:Or you have your joke writer with you.

00:41:05Guest:Yeah, I have a joke writer that writes my tweets.

00:41:07Guest:It's like, first of all, I'm glad that I'm flattered that people think that I can afford my own joke writer.

00:41:12Guest:But no, I mean, I was a writer on the I wrote other people's jokes on the roast two years in a row.

00:41:16Guest:So it's like I started.

00:41:17Guest:No, I know.

00:41:18Marc:Well, that's well, that's quite honestly.

00:41:20Marc:Yeah, I mean, I have my own issues about people being written for.

00:41:24Marc:Yeah.

00:41:25Marc:In the sense that like there are certain things what there is a couple things that amaze me like, you know, when the writer strike happened.

00:41:30Marc:Yeah.

00:41:30Marc:That, you know, that all of a sudden, you know, people didn't realize that how essential writers were because.

00:41:36Guest:Yeah.

00:41:36Marc:Do their shows.

00:41:37Marc:Yes.

00:41:37Marc:The thing that always amazed me is as smart as people may be, like if Jon Stewart's audience, they may be geniuses, but on some level, some of them still think he writes his own jokes.

00:41:46Marc:Yeah.

00:41:46Marc:And that's just part of the business, is that comics get to a certain level.

00:41:50Marc:They can't generate that much material on a day-to-day basis, so they have to have writers, and that's part of the entertainment product that they're manufacturing.

00:41:57Marc:Now, when you're at my level or at your level, you want to be your own joke writer because you want to define yourself with your humor.

00:42:04Marc:But because you do a certain style of joke, they want to diminish that by saying that, you know, you didn't write your jokes, whereas you used to write for other people.

00:42:12Marc:And the truth of the matter is there has to be if there's barter around joke writing and you're not stealing someone's joke and someone sells you a joke or writes a joke for you.

00:42:20Marc:There's no fucking crime in that.

00:42:22Guest:There's no crime in it at all.

00:42:23Guest:It's just not for me, at least yet, because right now I'm still trying to figure out who the fuck I am and what I want to say.

00:42:28Marc:You're a compulsive joke writer.

00:42:29Guest:Yeah, but it's also in no one could write for me because no one knows what I'm going through.

00:42:33Guest:And for me, everything I want to do now is just really personal and really specific.

00:42:37Guest:So no one.

00:42:37Marc:How's that going?

00:42:38Guest:really well actually like what give me an example I'm just trying to sort of talk more about you know my fear speaking less generally I don't want to do guys do this and women do this I want it to more be like I'm scared shitless of this and why you know what I mean this is your own decision yeah I'm trying to sort of yes it is

00:42:54Marc:Well, it's hard to do that.

00:42:56Marc:I guess maybe I'm going to watch your special.

00:42:57Guest:I just don't want my material to ever be interchangeable with someone.

00:43:00Guest:You know what I mean?

00:43:01Marc:No, no, I get it.

00:43:02Marc:Yeah.

00:43:02Marc:That's a good transition to make from what you are essentially a joke telling comedian, not not not so much one liner, but short form jokes.

00:43:08Guest:But the idea, I think, is just to go.

00:43:10Guest:So for me, the idea of stand up, it's like, you know, a lot of comics can go on the road and they have people write for them and they go on the road to me.

00:43:15Guest:I can't see what's fulfilling about that because you're just reciting things with that.

00:43:18Guest:You have no attachment to.

00:43:19Marc:There are guys that make a living writing for Ron White.

00:43:21Guest:Completely.

00:43:21Guest:You know what?

00:43:22Guest:And they tour with him.

00:43:23Guest:Ron White, I did.

00:43:24Marc:And he's one of the greatest comics in the world, that guy.

00:43:26Guest:I did some.

00:43:27Guest:He is so talented.

00:43:29Guest:I did a show with him.

00:43:31Guest:He has four Bentleys that I know of.

00:43:34Guest:He showed up every day in a different belly.

00:43:35Guest:But yeah, he's got writers.

00:43:36Guest:But you know what?

00:43:37Guest:He's also sitting around with him at the writer's table.

00:43:39Guest:It was a pilot he was doing for Comedy Central.

00:43:41Guest:And I was like a course, like his sidekick correspondent person.

00:43:44Guest:And he didn't do it because for him to do a TV show, he loses money.

00:43:48Guest:So they're sitting around.

00:43:49Guest:He's got like five writers, but people pitch him jokes.

00:43:51Guest:And he goes, no, no.

00:43:52Guest:How about this?

00:43:52Guest:And he changes them and makes him his own.

00:43:54Guest:It's a collaborative effort.

00:43:55Guest:He goes, that's a great joke.

00:43:56Guest:It's just not for me.

00:43:57Guest:He's a great comic.

00:43:59Guest:He has tasting his point of view.

00:44:01Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:44:02Guest:Yeah, so I respected the way that he did that.

00:44:04Marc:But it's just sort of interesting.

00:44:06Marc:I mean, after a certain point, people are paying to see that guy talk whatever he's going to do.

00:44:11Guest:Yeah, completely.

00:44:11Guest:But he can be a vehicle for other people's jokes.

00:44:13Guest:For me, it's just like when a huge Tim Allen or whatever just has someone write an act for him, you're just reciting something on stage.

00:44:20Guest:To me, that's not fulfilling, at least not now.

00:44:22Guest:come back to me in 10 years.

00:44:23Marc:No, I don't think you're going in that direction.

00:44:25Marc:I think it's interesting that you started on the other side of that.

00:44:27Marc:I just interviewed Apatow and he did the same thing.

00:44:31Guest:That's right, he was a writer.

00:44:33Marc:But he wanted to be a comic.

00:44:35Marc:But he found his strength in joke writing.

00:44:37Marc:And he wrote for comedians.

00:44:38Guest:And by the way, it's also easier and faster for me, not to mention more economically sound, for me to just write my own stuff because sitting around reading other people, it just doesn't.

00:44:46Guest:It's one of those things where it's like, you know, when someone this is like, because, you know, now that I guess maybe I'm doing decent, I get all these calls that are like, we wrote this for you that we had you in mind for this part.

00:44:57Guest:Right.

00:44:57Guest:But then it unfortunately puts a mirror up to what people think of you.

00:45:01Guest:And you realize how you're perceived.

00:45:03Guest:What do you mean?

00:45:03Guest:Oh, right, right, right.

00:45:04Guest:Because I'm not that guy.

00:45:05Guest:So literally, literally, someone's like, I wrote this for you.

00:45:07Guest:It was written for you.

00:45:08Guest:Check it out.

00:45:09Guest:I read it literally.

00:45:10Guest:Penny, 28, bitterly single and icy.

00:45:15Guest:That was the description.

00:45:17Guest:And he's like, this is you.

00:45:18Guest:This is exactly for you.

00:45:20Guest:And so when people write jokes for you, you know, maybe you start like someone.

00:45:23Guest:If they wrote for me, I'm sure they'd write all this slutty shit.

00:45:26Marc:You should see what I get.

00:45:27Guest:Yeah, I was going to say, you think I'm a slut?

00:45:29Guest:Yeah, yours would be about homicidal tendencies.

00:45:32Marc:Neurotic, angry.

00:45:33Guest:I'm almost too afraid to have someone write for me because I don't want to know how I'm perceived.

00:45:36Guest:I don't know how people interpret me.

00:45:38Marc:Well, I think you're probably perceived in two ways.

00:45:40Marc:Those two things are probably operative.

00:45:42Marc:The way you talk about sex as somebody, because you talk about sex.

00:45:46Guest:Yeah.

00:45:46Marc:Would would make you seem one way and the way you talk about and how aggressive you are seem another way Yeah, but I mean I know you to be pretty thoughtful pretty sensitive and and how you're gonna integrate that I don't know what so what are your what are the challenges of that?

00:45:59Marc:What do you when you write these new style jokes from your first person point of view?

00:46:03Marc:What are the topics?

00:46:04Guest:You know, the risks, I think, are of honesty.

00:46:06Guest:I mean, you know the risks of honesty.

00:46:07Guest:You're going to be embarrassed.

00:46:09Guest:Yeah, the ramifications of talking about your parents and your sister and your boyfriend.

00:46:15Guest:And I hate to bring this Chelsea Handler.

00:46:18Guest:In all of her books, she says horrible things about her dad.

00:46:21Guest:My dad's an asshole.

00:46:22Guest:You know what I mean?

00:46:23Guest:You're just outing people that are close to you.

00:46:25Guest:And I already have such a terrible dynamic with my family to talk about them publicly.

00:46:29Marc:Do you?

00:46:30Marc:I mean, is it really terrible?

00:46:31Marc:It seems like it's okay with your mom.

00:46:32Guest:You know what?

00:46:32Guest:Why it's OK now is because I did a lot of work on myself and decide not to just accept things that I can't change.

00:46:38Guest:You know, so now that I've done that, it's not as hard.

00:46:41Guest:But, you know, it's it's in terms of talking about why I am the way I am and the things that my biggest fear is a lot of it would be having to talk about really personal things about my family that would probably embarrass them.

00:46:49Guest:And that that scares me.

00:46:51Marc:Does it you think it'd be hurtful?

00:46:53Guest:I think it would hurt them, yeah, because they're not as self-aware yet.

00:46:57Guest:They don't know all these things.

00:46:58Marc:Isn't there any way to frame that stuff?

00:47:00Guest:Yeah, so it's like for me, let's say your girlfriend, let's say she's a drug addict.

00:47:05Guest:Would you talk about that on stage?

00:47:06Guest:Would you feel comfortable saying her name and talking about it?

00:47:08Marc:Well, I don't know if I'd have to say her name.

00:47:10Guest:If you did an hour special, yeah, tomorrow and said, you know.

00:47:13Marc:Well, I have very specific experiences and I do talk about them.

00:47:16Marc:And I don't need to mention names, but the only thing I find about talking about specific experiences is that it is a big transition from talking generally.

00:47:24Marc:Where you're presenting it like we all relate to this.

00:47:27Marc:And you may even write...

00:47:28Marc:You maybe even water down your feelings about things in order for more people to relate to it.

00:47:33Marc:So as soon as you say I, that means it's you and them.

00:47:36Marc:And then, you know, the risk is, you know, how many people are really going to understand this?

00:47:40Marc:Is this going to be relatable or are they just going to hear me taking a shot at my mother?

00:47:44Guest:Well, I think that Louis C.K.

00:47:46Guest:said this.

00:47:46Guest:Again, I'm horrible with where I get my quotes, but he said the more specific you are, the more general you are.

00:47:51Guest:So if you're running around going, men do this, women do this, it's just kind of like, but as soon as you say I, for some reason, that makes it more universal.

00:47:58Marc:I don't know if I agree with that, but what I do agree with is that when you say I, somebody says I'm like that too.

00:48:05Guest:Yes, yes.

00:48:05Marc:That's possible.

00:48:07Marc:But just as many people say, I've never thought that way in my fucking life, but they're not your people anyways.

00:48:12Guest:Well, it's also weird because for me for a long time, like when people find out about, you know, how my life was and how my childhood was, everyone's like, oh, my God.

00:48:18Guest:First of all, it's like, are you in therapy?

00:48:19Guest:People get very worried.

00:48:20Guest:How was it?

00:48:20Marc:What are they responding?

00:48:21Guest:You know, I think the responding to, you know, I, you know, I did, you know, you know, went through my, you know, sister had a lot of drug experiences and I did, you know, very early and, you know, like what kind left home for a couple of months at like 12 and was, you know, just a lot of things that like.

00:48:35Guest:At 12 you left home?

00:48:36Guest:Yeah, left home and ran away.

00:48:39Guest:We just went to Rehoboth Beach.

00:48:40Guest:You and your sister?

00:48:41Guest:Me and my sister.

00:48:42Guest:How old is older?

00:48:43Guest:She's a year older.

00:48:44Marc:So you're at 12 and a 13-year-old?

00:48:45Guest:Yeah.

00:48:46Guest:And just a lot of, like, grew up fast and furious, you know?

00:48:49Guest:But a lot of people have gone through this.

00:48:51Guest:What happened on that trip?

00:48:52Guest:But a lot of times...

00:48:54Marc:What did 12 and a 13 year old leave home for two months?

00:48:57Guest:I was this tall when I was that young, so I'm sure I didn't look that old.

00:49:00Guest:As you can tell, I've always looked 10 years older than I am.

00:49:03Marc:You don't look old.

00:49:04Guest:Really?

00:49:04Guest:The people, the blogs don't agree with you.

00:49:07Guest:The chat rooms.

00:49:08Guest:No, you know what?

00:49:09Guest:My mom is pretty amazing.

00:49:10Guest:She will go through my IMDB comments and send them to me and she'll go, see, this guy doesn't think that you wear enough lip gloss either.

00:49:18Guest:Like she, and she'll, you know.

00:49:19Guest:So she's brutal.

00:49:20Guest:But another thing is that I don't, and it's weird because I'm sure a lot of people would consider a stand-up comedian a narcissist, but I don't find my life that interesting, I guess, or something.

00:49:28Guest:Or I don't, that's why I don't like to go.

00:49:29Marc:Is that really true?

00:49:30Marc:Because I think that, I think you protected it.

00:49:33Guest:Really?

00:49:33Guest:I think, I'm trying to figure out what it is exactly because it's like the same thing.

00:49:36Guest:I don't like to go.

00:49:37Guest:I don't like to go to therapy because I literally get bored.

00:49:40Guest:I swear I get bored about yourself.

00:49:42Guest:Yes, I get bored about talking about myself because it's like I have to fucking live with myself all the time.

00:49:46Guest:And I just get annoyed by these like obsessive thoughts about things and insecurities and and paranoia.

00:49:51Guest:I get annoyed.

00:49:51Guest:So by the time I'm like, I don't want to pay 50 bucks to think about the 150 bucks to think about this shit more.

00:49:56Marc:What's your biggest obsession?

00:49:58Marc:What are they usually about?

00:50:01Guest:Food?

00:50:02Guest:You know what?

00:50:03Guest:Thank you.

00:50:03Guest:I'm going to take that as a compliment because I'm assuming you think I'm thin.

00:50:06Guest:But I do... Food used to be... I used to be very obsessed with food.

00:50:10Guest:My sister had a really bad eating disorder.

00:50:13Marc:Is this sister real?

00:50:14Marc:Is this just a way of you saying me?

00:50:15Guest:She's...

00:50:16Guest:Oh, have I been saying my sister this whole time?

00:50:19Guest:That's who I refer to myself.

00:50:20Guest:My sister at a drug problem.

00:50:21Guest:I can show you.

00:50:21Marc:My sister has an eating disorder.

00:50:23Guest:I can show you a picture of her.

00:50:24Marc:No, I believe you.

00:50:24Guest:She's, yeah, she's, you know, so I did have an eating problem very young, and I was like, you know, worked as a model when I was younger.

00:50:32Marc:You did?

00:50:33Guest:How old were you?

00:50:34Guest:Probably like 13 to 17.

00:50:36Marc:After the two-month hiatus.

00:50:38Guest:After the two-month saga.

00:50:39Guest:With your 13-year-old sister.

00:50:40Guest:Yes.

00:50:41Yes.

00:50:41Marc:Where you ran away.

00:50:42Guest:The two month excursion.

00:50:43Guest:But yeah, so I. How long did you model for?

00:50:47Guest:Probably like five or six, you know, into college, but five or six years when I was a teenager.

00:50:52Guest:Print stuff?

00:50:52Guest:And was young.

00:50:53Guest:A lot of print.

00:50:54Guest:Made some money?

00:50:55Guest:Did make some good money, spent it all on my college education.

00:50:58Guest:Did some QVC.

00:50:59Marc:You put yourself through college with your modeling money?

00:51:02Guest:Yeah, yeah.

00:51:02Marc:That's pretty impressive.

00:51:04Guest:Yeah.

00:51:04Guest:Really?

00:51:05Guest:Well, I did a lot of QVC.

00:51:07Guest:I did some catalog stuff.

00:51:08Guest:Really.

00:51:09Guest:I did at 16 a lot of a pee in the pod maternity stuff.

00:51:13Guest:Oh, yeah.

00:51:13Guest:Yeah.

00:51:13Guest:A lot of just, you know, random stuff like that.

00:51:15Guest:And fit modeling, which is, you know.

00:51:17Guest:Yeah, I know about that.

00:51:17Guest:You just sit there for informal modeling where you just walk around the store and trying to not kill yourself.

00:51:22Guest:Yeah.

00:51:22Marc:it's interesting that the fight that you do fight to be to be a woman who is attractive on stage i know i get i get my balls busted no i get i get i get busted by by you know people who claim to be like you know why does he always make uh people feel different on his show like there's a couple of idiots that write me emails saying different well why would why does he ask a woman what's it what is it like to be a woman doing stand-up how is that important well because it is

00:51:46Guest:I think that's I think that I think that people want to know that.

00:51:49Guest:And here's another thing, though.

00:51:50Guest:You know, this more than anyone.

00:51:52Guest:I think that most stand up women stand ups now are really attractive.

00:51:56Marc:Right.

00:51:57Marc:But there's the issue that I'm talking about is there used to be a thing that my ex used to have to deal with, which is like they look at someone who's attractive and think like, what could their problem be?

00:52:05Guest:That you're attractive and your uncle tried to fuck you when you were 10.

00:52:09Guest:I mean, yeah, I think that, I think that was the exertion in my uncle's boat.

00:52:16Guest:Um, you know, I think that, that, that, um, you know, being attractive, uh, uh, you know, brings up a set of, you know, issues with yourself, you know,

00:52:25Guest:Yeah, because people can't see past it.

00:52:27Guest:They don't see you as a person.

00:52:28Guest:Completely.

00:52:28Guest:The more attractive someone is, usually the less attractive they think they are.

00:52:32Guest:Right.

00:52:33Guest:And also, it's like for me, I may be an attractive comedian, but I was an ugly model.

00:52:38Guest:So I was always, as a model, I was always the ugliest and the fattest.

00:52:42Marc:Didn't they say you're like unique?

00:52:44Guest:No, I was just the ugliest.

00:52:46Guest:So I would get fired from jobs on the spot.

00:52:49Guest:Randolph Duke told me that my ribs were too big so I couldn't fit in New Jersey.

00:52:52Guest:So it's like I was always the ugly girl but just in a different echelon.

00:52:56Guest:Do you know what I mean?

00:52:59Marc:So now you're rising to the challenge.

00:53:01Marc:You're not writing general one line aggressive.

00:53:05Guest:But I'm trying to figure out because I guess I just find myself so boring in my life, so boring.

00:53:10Marc:Well, all you do is work.

00:53:12Guest:I do but you do think about things because I see your tweets and you and your observational comedy is funny really um I I I don't know I it's weird and this sounds so fucking gay But I am I don't know stand-up doesn't feel like work to me.

00:53:25Guest:I really do you know

00:53:27Marc:No, I know, but what I'm saying is that your life is limited to, like, if you're doing three sets a night and you're running around, then you're going home and you're getting up and you're trying to, you know, pitch projects and get cast and this, that, and the other thing.

00:53:37Marc:What do you have going on?

00:53:38Guest:Yeah, I do.

00:53:38Guest:I just sold a show to NBC yesterday.

00:53:40Marc:You sold a show to NBC?

00:53:42Guest:Yeah, a TV show, which hopefully, you know, I'll be in.

00:53:44Marc:Who are you partnered with?

00:53:45Guest:I'm partnered with the Scott Stuber Company.

00:53:49Marc:And who's writing it?

00:53:50Guest:I'm writing it.

00:53:51Marc:Really?

00:53:52Guest:Yeah.

00:53:53Marc:That's awesome.

00:53:54Marc:So you pitched a full that you're writing and creating.

00:53:58Guest:Yeah.

00:53:59Guest:Yeah.

00:53:59Guest:And then so I was just in a deal with Comedy Central for a while.

00:54:02Guest:They want me to do a talk show.

00:54:03Guest:So I don't know if that makes sense.

00:54:05Guest:But meeting with that next week.

00:54:07Guest:So what's in first position?

00:54:09Guest:I want to go this one.

00:54:10Guest:But I want to.

00:54:12Guest:And so you have to write it.

00:54:13Guest:Yeah.

00:54:13Marc:Yeah.

00:54:14Marc:So you're with a production company.

00:54:15Marc:You're going to write it alone.

00:54:16Guest:Yeah, I'm writing a loan and then creator because I want a house.

00:54:19Marc:Right.

00:54:20Guest:Yeah, I want to get a house.

00:54:21Marc:You want to talk about what it's about?

00:54:23Guest:Sure, yeah, yeah.

00:54:24Guest:No, it's very simple.

00:54:24Guest:It's basically like Modern Day Mad About You.

00:54:26Guest:It's about a couple who's been together for four years and they want to stay together but they're too afraid of marriage.

00:54:31Guest:So they sort of are dealing with all the prejudices that happen when you want to stay together but don't want to get married.

00:54:36Guest:You know, because the girl comes from a lot of divorce in her family.

00:54:39Guest:She's like me.

00:54:39Guest:I basically had a situation where I was with a guy for four years and we got in a fight one day, had nothing to do with the fact that I went through his phone.

00:54:46Guest:And he said, he's like, well, why don't we just get married?

00:54:49Guest:And I almost threw up.

00:54:51Guest:Like, I was so, I'm so terrified about the idea of marriage.

00:54:54Guest:Yeah.

00:54:55Guest:And I'm working through a lot of those fears.

00:54:57Guest:And so every episode's just going to be, you know, questioning a different element of what marriage is and why we have to do it and what it means.

00:55:03Yeah.

00:55:03Marc:I remember this story.

00:55:04Marc:This happened a long time ago.

00:55:05Guest:It happened a long time ago.

00:55:06Marc:Because we talked about it when we were in San Diego.

00:55:07Guest:We did talk about it in San Diego.

00:55:09Marc:But you got back together with that guy after that.

00:55:11Guest:Got back together with the guy after that, then broke up for good about a year ago.

00:55:14Guest:Yeah.

00:55:15Guest:I'm dating someone new now.

00:55:16Marc:Right.

00:55:16Guest:You're dating a comedy guy.

00:55:17Guest:It's basically a comedy writer.

00:55:19Guest:Right.

00:55:20Guest:Not a comedian.

00:55:20Guest:Okay, easy.

00:55:21Guest:I'm not a comedian.

00:55:22Guest:I'm not dating a comedian.

00:55:23Guest:I am not dating Miles Jobrani.

00:55:25Marc:Ha ha ha.

00:55:26Marc:You're someone I'd tell his wife if you are.

00:55:28Guest:Yeah, but I'm taking the next couple off and I just wrote a movie.

00:55:31Guest:So it's actually really nice.

00:55:32Guest:And you might appreciate this because I feel like writing TV and writing movies.

00:55:36Guest:It's like where you get to dump all your B jokes that don't get to make it into your A's.

00:55:41Guest:So it's like all the same thing with Twitter.

00:55:43Guest:It's like all the things that aren't A enough to go in your special find a home finally.

00:55:47Guest:So it wasn't all a complete waste of time.

00:55:49Guest:Is that horrible?

00:55:51Guest:Is that horrible that I'm just like, oh, thank God.

00:55:52Guest:A character saying this.

00:55:53Marc:Dude, the fact that you actually put them in a place where you can keep them and use them again is impressive.

00:55:59Guest:It's just good to be able to have.

00:56:01Guest:So, yeah, I wrote a movie and I'm going to try to take the next couple months off from the road.

00:56:04Guest:What's the movie about?

00:56:06Guest:The movie is, let me just tell you what it's based on.

00:56:08Guest:It's based on the fact that my name is Whitney Cummings and there's a porn star named Wendy Cummings.

00:56:13Guest:Yeah.

00:56:13Guest:And before I started having anything on Google, when you Google my name, a lot of porn would come up.

00:56:20Marc:And that's the movie?

00:56:22Guest:That's what it's based on.

00:56:23Marc:Well, you seem to be a hot commodity right now.

00:56:26Guest:Really?

00:56:26Marc:Yeah.

00:56:27Guest:Whatever, doing The Tonight Show Monday.

00:56:29Guest:Whatever.

00:56:29Marc:Yeah, I wonder when we're going to air this.

00:56:31Guest:That's going to be embarrassing.

00:56:32Marc:So maybe you should say, like, I was just on The Tonight Show.

00:56:34Guest:No, I don't want to plug anything.

00:56:36Guest:But I'm kind of just sort of... You've never done The Tonight Show?

00:56:38Guest:I did it with Conan.

00:56:40Guest:Right.

00:56:40Guest:I'm doing it with Leno.

00:56:41Guest:Right.

00:56:42Guest:Is that okay?

00:56:42Guest:Are people not going to like me?

00:56:43Marc:No, you do whatever you can.

00:56:44Guest:Can you tell me how I'm perceived?

00:56:47Marc:Yeah.

00:56:48Guest:Because I don't think that I'm accepted by the alternative community.

00:56:51Marc:Well, like on this show, if there is a bridging of the gap, I do it only because I appreciate people who are real comedians and you've worked, you've earned what you have, you know, from doing the work as a stand up and writing jokes.

00:57:03Marc:Yeah.

00:57:03Marc:You know, the alternative community is just a sort of select, insulated, somewhat elitist group of people.

00:57:11Guest:Yeah.

00:57:11Marc:Things get decided by them as a group.

00:57:15Marc:Louie was the same way.

00:57:17Marc:Louie, at some point, actively in some respects, campaigned for their appreciation.

00:57:22Marc:In a sense, if you look at Lucky Louie from HBO, that wasn't an alternative show in any way.

00:57:28Marc:And somehow or another, they warmed to him.

00:57:30Marc:So you don't know how they're going to respond after or what it's going to take.

00:57:33Marc:Because they certainly don't embrace Jim Norton.

00:57:35Marc:That's true.

00:57:37Marc:That, you know, what they decide is good is relative to who deems it.

00:57:41Marc:I don't know why or how it happens.

00:57:44Guest:Yeah, and now, you know, Zach Galifianakis is a major movie star doing commercial films.

00:57:49Marc:It's not about commercial.

00:57:50Marc:It's not about selling out.

00:57:52Marc:It's just about who they think they relate to or who they... I don't even know how it happens or what the group think around it is.

00:58:00Marc:Yeah.

00:58:00Marc:Or why?

00:58:01Marc:But it's not about selling out because they have no problem with people selling out as long as they sell out and they can still appreciate it.

00:58:06Marc:I don't know that the idea of selling out really applies to anything anymore.

00:58:10Marc:Yeah, because, you know, if they're OK with the vehicle and they understand you, I mean, on some level, I think that, you know, maybe Dave Cross took a couple of hits for doing the second Chipmunks movie.

00:58:18Guest:You know, I think that there's certain people as well doing King of Queens.

00:58:22Marc:But he doesn't seem to take any hits because there's two schools of thought.

00:58:26Marc:In terms of the people that are alternative that can draw, they are obviously real comedians and they do the job.

00:58:31Marc:Yeah, yeah.

00:58:32Guest:It's not about material.

00:58:34Guest:No, no.

00:58:35Marc:When it comes right down to it, guys who can do the job can do the job and they are professional comedians.

00:58:40Marc:And I don't see any difference between somebody who's a professional comedian from whatever the opposite of alternative is.

00:58:47Marc:It's all one thing to me.

00:58:48Guest:commercial or mainstream.

00:58:50Marc:It's a fickle thing.

00:58:51Marc:It's not based on any... It's based on a sensibility.

00:58:56Marc:It's not based on what people do necessarily.

00:58:59Marc:Like Maria Bamford is a huge alternative comedian and you can see that because she's sort of this unique thing that is special and would not really play for any audience and speaks a certain way

00:59:10Guest:But I'm asking because I get bummed out thinking that people don't interpret me as original or specific.

00:59:19Marc:Well, I think that your shortcomings, you know what they are.

00:59:21Marc:And it seems to me that as you evolve as a comic, you're dealing with them.

00:59:24Marc:I mean, obviously something in you has said to you...

00:59:27Marc:That, you know, I need to, you know, I need to expose more.

00:59:30Marc:I need to take more chances.

00:59:31Guest:And by the way, as polarizing as Dane Cook is, he's, you know, someone who started, you know, or he's got very famous and successful with very high energy and what a lot of people would think would be commercial mainstream.

00:59:42Guest:And he's just done a 180.

00:59:43Guest:And now he talks about, you know, suicide and his parents dying and just stands there with a microphone and doesn't do the energy stuff anymore, you know?

00:59:52Marc:Judging people for their success or why anybody likes them, I don't know.

00:59:56Marc:It becomes a waste of time after a while.

00:59:58Marc:It's just entertainment.

00:59:59Guest:Yeah.

00:59:59Marc:Everybody's got about a five-year shot.

01:00:01Marc:Yeah.

01:00:02Marc:And then eventually, you know, if you get fortunate enough to make a bunch of money in that window of opportunity, then you got to figure out how to hold on to it.

01:00:09Marc:In the big picture, it doesn't fucking matter.

01:00:10Guest:It doesn't matter.

01:00:11Guest:And I guess it's like for me, because it's like I think that, and part of the reason why last I was standing didn't make sense for me, because like I'm running around like, you know, I think my biggest problem maybe is that I run around and do, Mill Valley, look at you.

01:00:22Guest:and go, what do people think of me?

01:00:24Guest:What do people think of me?

01:00:25Guest:But I think as a comedian, you can only write about what interests you and what you think is funny.

01:00:29Guest:But I think what you, I think you.

01:00:31Guest:And maybe what interests me is a little simple and mainstream.

01:00:35Guest:Well, that's fine.

01:00:36Guest:I mean, but I think you know.

01:00:37Guest:I don't want to do jokes about this American life.

01:00:39Marc:No one wants to do jokes about this American life, but this American life is a cultural standard bearer for what is nerd community.

01:00:47Marc:There's no reason you have to pretend to be part of nerd culture if you're not.

01:00:52Marc:And the thing is, I think you have identified your own shortcomings is that you're self-conscious about the possibility that you are approaching, though original in your own way, fairly well-trodden ground about relationships.

01:01:05Guest:Yeah.

01:01:05Guest:But that's also just what interests me.

01:01:09Guest:You know what I mean?

01:01:10Guest:Right.

01:01:10Guest:And I happen to just be interested in things that other people are interested in, so I guess that makes me mainstream.

01:01:14Marc:And also, you're a joke writer.

01:01:15Marc:Yeah.

01:01:16Marc:And a lot of people who do point of view comedy, like alternative comics, don't come from the same background as you.

01:01:21Guest:Yeah.

01:01:21Marc:I mean, you're the kind of guy that, kind of guy.

01:01:23Marc:Yes.

01:01:23Marc:You're the kind of woman that, not unlike a tell, will just sit there and write jokes and just write joke after joke after joke after joke.

01:01:30Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:01:30Marc:Whereas an alternative approach would be like, I'm going to go talk about that thing that my dog did.

01:01:35Guest:Yeah, well, see, I just talk about what haunts me and what, you know what I mean?

01:01:38Guest:Like, that's why for me doing stand-up doesn't feel like work because I don't sit down and go, okay, what is funny about batteries?

01:01:45Guest:Because I need to write battery jokes.

01:01:46Marc:What do you mean what haunts you?

01:01:47Guest:You know, what haunts me.

01:01:48Marc:You like to write jokes as puzzles, though, don't you?

01:01:50Guest:Yeah, it's a lot of math.

01:01:52Guest:Yeah, it is a lot of math.

01:01:54Guest:But also a great, because that's writing the roast jokes and stuff like that.

01:01:58Marc:You're a professional comedy writer.

01:01:59Guest:Yeah, there's math to it.

01:02:01Guest:But now I think that honesty trumps good math.

01:02:05Marc:All right, well, as you take that, as you journey that, you will see how that crew responds to you.

01:02:11Marc:I don't think you should be concerned about it.

01:02:13Guest:You know, I'm not necessarily concerned, but it's just interesting, especially people.

01:02:17Guest:You're just such a good person to talk to about this when you're just figuring out how you're perceived.

01:02:22Guest:I don't know why.

01:02:23Guest:Maybe no one should worry about that.

01:02:24Marc:Look, the alternative, they didn't like me.

01:02:25Marc:They barely accept me.

01:02:27Marc:You're like the guy.

01:02:27Marc:No, I'm not.

01:02:28Marc:You know, I'm not the guy, you know, I don't, you know, I'm not an ironic person.

01:02:32Marc:I don't have a, I don't have an ironic following.

01:02:35Marc:I'm very raw.

01:02:35Marc:I'm very honest.

01:02:36Marc:I talk to a lot of people that they like.

01:02:38Marc:I think that, you know, I, you know, my, my mental processes reveal something that no one really talks about.

01:02:45Marc:And I think they find it compelling, but you know, they, they're not fearless.

01:02:48Marc:Right.

01:02:48Marc:But they're not loyalists to that type of comedy.

01:02:50Marc:I mean, they'd much rather have Paul F. Tompkins or Patton.

01:02:53Guest:You're dangerous.

01:02:54Marc:Well, I just think that, like, what I try to do, you know, here is just, like, I am saddened that, you know, there's a lot of guys, like, some guys who work, like, I had Dove on the show.

01:03:03Marc:I had Caparulo on the show.

01:03:05Guest:I want to hear the one of you and Dove.

01:03:07Marc:It's great, you know, because, like, you know, despite the fact that he annoys me and I bust his balls, you know, I know he's a bright kid.

01:03:13Guest:Yeah.

01:03:13Marc:And I know he has an interesting way of speaking.

01:03:15Guest:Yeah.

01:03:15Marc:But it's sort of, like, it's weird to me.

01:03:17Guest:Yeah.

01:03:17Marc:And, like, I went to England and interviewed Stuart Lee, who I never knew, who's a genius.

01:03:21Marc:But it's interesting to me that you have real comedians.

01:03:24Marc:Like, I think Cap is a real comedian.

01:03:26Marc:And people don't know him from the alternative side of the street.

01:03:29Marc:And they may not dig him, and they may think this or that about him, but you can't deny the guy's a real deal.

01:03:34Marc:So it's just a...

01:03:35Marc:I don't know why people get like, and I understand it's sort of like, you feel like it's a clique that you want to be part of.

01:03:40Guest:And it's, and it's one of those things where it's like, I don't know.

01:03:42Guest:Yeah.

01:03:42Guest:If I have to just go hang out at La Pumelle more or something, but yeah.

01:03:47Marc:Hang out there.

01:03:48Guest:But it is interesting just in, in talking.

01:03:50Marc:I think as you take chances, you know, that, you know, if you, it's all a matter of, of, of what kind of, you know, what, what you do up there.

01:03:57Guest:Yeah.

01:03:58Marc:You know, and it sounds like you're, you're heading in a new direction in terms of, of honesty and that's exciting.

01:04:02Guest:Yeah.

01:04:02Guest:Yeah, it is exciting.

01:04:04Marc:And congratulations on all your success.

01:04:06Guest:Thank you.

01:04:06Guest:I am soaking wet.

01:04:08I know.

01:04:10Marc:Sweaty, right?

01:04:11Guest:Sweaty, sweaty.

01:04:13Okay.

01:04:17Marc:Okay, that's our show, folks.

01:04:19Marc:I hope you enjoyed that.

01:04:20Marc:A little more insight into the joke machine that is Whitney Cummings.

01:04:23Marc:Please, folks, go to WTF Podshop.

01:04:26Marc:Pick up one of the premium episodes, the last one, the Parade of Jews or whatever we called it, the Calvacate of Jews.

01:04:32Marc:They're all really funny, and I'm glad that those of you who did pick them up are enjoying them.

01:04:37Marc:Also, new shirts are coming.

01:04:39Marc:New shirts are coming, and I've got new stickers, and I'll be in New York at Comics next week, September 15th, that's Wednesday, at Comics in New York, two live WTFs, 7.30 and 9.30.

01:04:51Marc:The first show we're titling The Nerdier Show.

01:04:55Marc:That's Jesse Klein, Michael Showalter, Maeve Higgins, Glenn Wolfe.

01:05:01Marc:and maybe David Cross.

01:05:03Marc:The second show, 9.30, that's going to be Bobby Kelly, Kurt Metzger, Joe DeRosa, Pete Corrielli, and Dave Attell.

01:05:12Marc:That's the dirtier show.

01:05:13Marc:Live WTF at Comics in New York.

01:05:17Marc:Wednesday, September 15th, 7.30 and 9.30.

01:05:19Marc:Go to ComicsNY.com for tickets and information.

01:05:26Marc:Those are usually pretty good shows.

01:05:28Marc:I've got no coffee.

01:05:30Marc:Go to JustCoffee.coop or go to WTFPod.com for JustCoffee.coop.