Episode 102 - Jimmy Pardo
Guest:Lock the gates!
Guest:Are we doing this?
Guest:Really?
Guest:Wait for it.
Guest:Are we doing this?
Guest:Wait for it.
Guest:Pow!
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:And it's also... Eh, what the fuck?
Guest:What's wrong with me?
Guest:It's time for WTF!
Guest:What the fuck?
Guest:With Mark Maron.
Marc:Okay, are we doing this?
Marc:Let's do it.
Marc:How are you, what the fuckers?
Marc:What the fuck buddies?
Marc:What the fucking ears?
Marc:What the fuck nicks?
Marc:What the fucking knots?
Marc:Oh my God.
Marc:It goes on forever.
Marc:How's it going?
Marc:Thank you again for all the lovely emails and support around the 100th episode.
Marc:It is a milestone.
Marc:I don't believe I've ever done that much of anything, but I just want to thank you guys again for all your feedback.
Marc:I think I'm going to make the emails a little more regular part of the show and perhaps even some of the listener phoners.
Marc:Those were great.
Marc:That kid Ray was great.
Marc:I got to call him for advice again.
Marc:I got to get back in touch with him.
Marc:Man, it's always good when a kid who's 15 can set you straight.
Marc:All right, before I get into the show proper, and our guest today is the inimitable, unimitable, inimitable, the fucking hilarious Jimmy Pardo.
Marc:That I can say with confidence.
Marc:Jimmy Pardo from the Never Not Funny podcast, a podcast pioneer, and a very funny man.
Marc:But before I get into that, I want to hip you to this.
Marc:At WTFPodShop.com, a new premium podcast episode is available, and it's something we're calling A Night of Many Jews.
Marc:It features Jeff Garland, Susie Essman, Gary Goldman, and Joe Mandy.
Marc:It was hilarious.
Marc:It was done at Comics.
Marc:Some of you were there.
Marc:It is now available at WTFPodShop.com.
Marc:Night of many Jews.
Marc:Enjoy that.
Marc:So where are we going today?
Marc:Hold on.
Marc:Look at this.
Marc:I got some iced.
Marc:Pow!
Marc:What the fuck?
Marc:I just shit my head.
Marc:My pants.
Marc:Can you shit your pants with iced coffee?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I made iced coffee, though.
Marc:I made it a different way.
Marc:I stole the recipe from the bag at Starbucks.
Marc:It seems to make good sense.
Marc:It's the best iced coffee I've ever made.
Marc:As opposed to just using the coffee that gets old and shitty that you leave in your urn or cooking too long on the burner and it just becomes like coffee gravy or coffee syrup and you think, fuck it, I'll just put that in the fridge and ice that up.
Marc:What I did, I made it specifically to make iced coffee.
Marc:I went one cup coffee, ground coffee, to three cups hot water.
Marc:So I made a very strong brew.
Marc:And I poured that over three cups of ice.
Marc:And I threw that in the fridge.
Marc:And then I poured over ice again.
Marc:And it's perfect.
Marc:It's perfect.
Marc:I'm sharing recipes, folks.
Marc:That's what we're doing today.
Marc:I'm getting a lot of bromance applications.
Marc:Apparently, a lot of you think that Joe...
Marc:as great as a bro as he is, and even though we had our first bromance date, that some of you would do a better job, would be a better buddy for me.
Marc:So I'm getting some of those applications.
Marc:They're coming in.
Marc:You know, we had Duke on the 100th episode.
Marc:And this is for a guy that doesn't really hang out that much.
Marc:You know, I haven't talked to Joe since the live episode.
Marc:I guess I should get back in touch with him.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:I mean, I should think of something fun to do.
Marc:But I did, oh, I want to do this before I get into the bromance application that I got because I think it's pretty powerful and it put me into, put life into some sort of perspective for a change.
Marc:But this first, I got this email, subject line, wheelchairs.
Marc:Mark, my mother has multiple sclerosis.
Marc:She uses a wheelchair, but she can and does walk.
Marc:However, walking for more than a few minutes becomes very painful and she gets easily fatigued.
Marc:I've seen her barely able to move after something as simple as going to a restaurant.
Marc:It's not a pretty sight.
Marc:So that's how you get that treatment.
Marc:Just get yourself a debilitating muscular disorder and you too can be living life on easy street.
Marc:I do love the show, but I hope you can understand why your comments would piss me off.
Marc:Martin.
Marc:This is in reference to the comment I made on the 100th episode.
Marc:I am sorry, Martin.
Marc:That was insensitive, and you are correct.
Marc:I did not seek to upset you, but that was insensitive, and I do apologize.
Marc:Now, onward into the bromance application I got.
Marc:This is one of those things where even if I don't get in touch with this guy...
Marc:It does put life into perspective.
Marc:I guess.
Marc:It's a little rough.
Marc:It's a little tough love.
Marc:I don't do well with tough love.
Marc:Bromance application mark...
Marc:All right, so here it goes.
Marc:You don't need a bunch of enablers for your bromance.
Marc:No offense to them or you.
Marc:I think we're all the same.
Marc:I've just learned to deal with the same bullshit differently.
Marc:You need someone who can put your shit into perspective.
Marc:How about an Iraq war veteran that's done about 30 months over there and has stepped on a guy's face that was not attached to his body by accident?
Marc:Here's the deal.
Marc:When you're whining and hyperventilating about your jeans that don't fit right, I'll explain to you that 50 pounds of body armor and bullets I had to wear in 140 degree heat and how comfortable that was to lug around.
Marc:When you start obsessing over boots that don't fit right, I'll tell you about the time I did a six mile road march with a 40 pound backpack in one hour and the blisters it creates, especially when you're doing it on a sprained ankle.
Marc:When you start complaining about moving and shit, I'll tell you about the convoy I had to lead and move people from northern Iraq to Ramadi over four days in 130 degree heat in what essentially is a metal armored coffin.
Marc:Or the first convoy I took out the door in Ramadi
Marc:where a guy blew himself up right in front of our convoy.
Marc:When you're suspicious of people or paranoid, I'll tell you about the lady that was hiding a bomb under her abaya, is that how you pronounce that?
Marc:And then ran across the road to slow my convoy down so the bomb that was laying in the median could hit our vehicle.
Marc:I'm not discounting your shit by any means because in your mind, that shit is just as serious as my shit.
Marc:But even your panicked mind could put that shit into perspective and you would instantly realize, hey, my shit ain't that serious.
Marc:I'm just not going to enable people to worry themselves sick about that kind of shit, myself included.
Marc:Look, I think we're kindred spirits.
Marc:Your name is Mark spelled with a C. My name is Marcus spelled with a C. What more do you need to have in common?
Marc:Age could make a large difference.
Marc:I am only 29.
Marc:But if you add the fact that I've been married for seven years, have a five-year-old son diagnosed with ADHD, and I've spent about two and a half years in a combat zone, I think my real age comes out to somewhere around 46.
Marc:Mark, I hope you consider this application and don't take it as derogatory or demeaning.
Marc:Like you said, and I believe we're all the same, trying to hold all of our shit together and stay on the normal path, but really, every day I have a longer way to go to stay on that path, and I do it.
Marc:I still freak out about comparatively trivial shit sometimes as well, but then I go back to my motto.
Marc:Don't sweat the small stuff, and once you've been shot at, it's all small stuff.
Marc:OK, Marcus, I get your point, but I got to be honest with you today.
Marc:I woke up at 715 in the morning.
Marc:OK, that's pretty early.
Marc:I woke up at 715 in the morning.
Marc:I got I got coffeed up.
Marc:I didn't eat any breakfast.
Marc:I took vitamins and I didn't eat anything.
Marc:I had to get in my car to go do an interview in Santa Monica, all right?
Marc:And this is at rush hour, and I'm burping up fish oil, all right, which is uncomfortable and doesn't taste good.
Marc:I didn't put gas in my car, so I'm a little freaked out that I might not make it.
Marc:And I'm stuck on the 10 in bumper-to-bumper traffic, burping up fish oil with just coffee and vitamins in my stomach, feeling nauseous.
Marc:It's like 100 degrees outside.
Marc:I have air conditioner on, but that's not the point.
Marc:And I'm driving to Santa Monica and I might not make my appointment.
Marc:Okay?
Marc:And then I get to Santa Monica with a few minutes to spare.
Marc:And I'm pretty panicked and pretty freaked out.
Marc:And I get out of the car and I step on a guy's face that wasn't connected to his body.
Marc:So, and that was in Santa Monica.
Marc:So I understand what you're saying, but I mean, you know, I know where you're coming from, but you know, I have my problems too.
Marc:Because, you know, what was that guy's face doing in Santa Monica?
Marc:It's a bad place for a face.
Marc:How come we don't fill places?
Marc:I don't understand.
Marc:Jimmy, what do we have to do?
Marc:I mean, have you thought about this?
Guest:Is this the program?
Guest:Sure.
Guest:I don't know if this is the program.
Guest:If this is us getting comfortable, then we're going to do the show.
Marc:Jimmy Pardo is here, and we'll see what happens.
Guest:I don't understand how this works.
Marc:We'll see what ends up on the show.
Marc:I mean, all I know is I go out.
Marc:I would think you've been around, what, longer than me probably?
Marc:No.
Marc:30 years?
Guest:No.
Guest:No, no.
Guest:Again, my first Caroline's, I was on my first television show.
Guest:You were also on the exact same episode.
Guest:Right.
Guest:But that was like your third Caroline's.
Guest:It was my first and only.
Guest:I did two.
Guest:Then it was your second.
Guest:You wore a fringe jacket.
Guest:Right.
Guest:You thought you were... It wasn't fringe.
Marc:It was just suede.
Marc:I insist there was fringe.
Marc:I insist there was fringe.
Marc:I did not wear one of those Kit Carson jackets.
Marc:It looked like you were... Why can't I pull the movie with Dustin Hoffman?
Marc:It was Little Big Man.
Guest:Mr. Midnight Cowboy.
Guest:It was very Midnight Cowboy.
Guest:So you thought I looked like Jon Voight in Midnight Cowboy.
Guest:Yes, I thought you looked like a homosexual.
Guest:Right.
Guest:Out trying to make a couple of bucks.
Guest:I think I was that then.
Marc:I think that out of fear of being a homosexual, I was doing stand-up comedy.
Guest:Right, which is really the only reason we all got into it, right?
Marc:I think so.
Marc:Just keep that dick away from me, huh?
Marc:We got tired of being called faggot in theater, and then we went into this.
Marc:This is as close as it's going to get.
Marc:Mike, that's all that's getting near here.
Marc:You don't have to tell me that.
Marc:I know.
Marc:So we did that TV show together.
Marc:I have no recollection of you whatsoever.
Guest:It was 1990... 89, I think.
Guest:No, no.
Guest:This particular one was early 93.
Guest:It was at the New Carolines.
Guest:Yeah, it was a beautiful club.
Guest:Richard Jenny was the host.
Guest:God rest his soul.
Guest:God rest his soul.
Guest:And it was me, you.
Guest:I want to say Kozak might have been on the program.
Guest:Kozak.
Marc:Jonathan Goff definitely was.
Marc:Jonathan Groff.
Marc:Groff, rather.
Marc:Yes, who I started with, who went on to write for Conan.
Marc:And Kozak, here comes some birds.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And a little of that smoke.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And then there was a fourth guy.
Guest:It was me, Groff, you, guy I can't remember, and then the amazing Kozak.
Guest:All on the same show.
Guest:Yeah, that's a strong show.
Marc:That's a strong show today as well as it was then.
Marc:Sure.
Marc:That was before Kozak started wearing the cowboy hat.
Marc:You know, he went cowboy for a while.
Marc:He moved to Arizona.
Marc:I did not know that.
Marc:Yeah, there was a cowboy hat involved.
Marc:Did not know that.
Marc:And the last I saw him, it wasn't clear to me he was doing magic at all.
Marc:He wasn't doing the thing that he does?
Marc:He wasn't on stage.
Marc:He just showed up somewhere.
Marc:He's like, hey, how you doing?
Marc:He would show up.
Marc:Maybe that's what he was doing.
Marc:He was experimenting with appearing places.
Marc:He showed up in San Antonio.
Guest:That's his David Blaine, his version of David Blaine.
Marc:There's no audience.
Marc:He just shows up.
Marc:He just shows up.
Marc:And I'm like, where the hell have you been?
Marc:Yeah, I've been around.
Marc:So that happens a lot, though.
Marc:So I guess my question, if we can get back to it, is, like, what the fuck do we have to do, Jimmy?
Guest:You know, I tell you what, my podcast is really helping.
Guest:It's not filling the room, but, you know, I come out, and you can tell people are there to see me based on the podcast.
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:And that's a great feeling.
Marc:It is, finally.
Marc:Yeah, right?
Marc:I mean, I don't want, like, see, I think I can talk to you like this, you know, because we're children, basically.
Marc:Yes.
Marc:Emotionally.
Marc:A little bit.
Marc:One more than the other.
Marc:No, that's fine.
Marc:But I'm excited because after 25 years or however long I've been doing this, the thing that I do by myself with nobody's help really.
Marc:Right.
Marc:I mean, I've got Brendan who works with me and you've got your guys.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:But we did this.
Marc:We built this thing.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And then people come.
Marc:I do a million other things.
Marc:You can be on TV all you want.
Marc:I was someone else's puppet for many years, dressed in a lot of different ways.
Marc:I blame it on haircuts.
Marc:Like if I had committed to a haircut...
Guest:early on you had some hair uh situation yeah you had your crazy uh curly hair at one point all different kinds yeah and i think that it didn't it disabled people to lock in to say like that's a guy with that hair you think it was that you think it might have been your off-putting personality no no no no it was all i think the moving facial hair listen i get that you're doing a bit i'm not but uh you're wrong it was uh you were off-putting
Guest:And the material was not.
Guest:People did not respond.
Guest:They didn't like me.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:Yeah, you weren't.
Guest:Listen, comedians like you, but I think real people were put off.
Marc:They barely liked me.
Guest:Well, certainly not on first impression.
Marc:We'd have to get to know you a little bit.
Marc:Yeah, a little bit.
Marc:But okay, so if that explains me, what explains your lack of success?
Marc:Um...
Marc:See, I don't want to turn that around, but that's what I do.
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:I don't disagree with you.
Guest:I don't know if I've found the right thing on television to get people.
Guest:I think the podcast finally allowed me to be me.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Right, right.
Guest:To not confine me.
Guest:Even my half hour special on Comedy Central is, I think, good.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:You know, it's eight years old now.
Marc:But you felt it represented you.
Guest:uh no i think it's good i don't think it's very good i don't think it's great yeah i think it's a good special right i'm uh truth be told if i'm if i'm gonna lean one way maybe i'm a little embarrassed by it uh even though at the time the set was great i don't i don't like the way it i do not think it represents me i think editing hurt me really yeah i had some i had some feelings about mine i made i make bad decisions that i really think are the right decisions
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Initially.
Marc:Like I had, did you, do you remember mine?
Marc:It was very memorable.
Marc:Oh yeah, sure.
Marc:Of course I do.
Marc:No.
Guest:Remember your Comedy Central half hour?
Marc:The second one I did, I decided that I would have a herd of sheep.
Marc:I do remember that.
Marc:Behind me going the other way.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:Walking away, which means it was basically a bunch of sheep's asses.
Marc:And then on stage, I had one sheep.
Marc:Right.
Marc:That was just there.
Marc:So I thought that represented me away from the herd.
Marc:Really, it was just sort of like, what's with the fucking sheep?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I mean, who's going to go that deep?
Marc:But I really thought that was a great idea.
Marc:Well, I think on paper, it's a great idea.
Marc:Yeah, that's right.
Guest:to me when i saw that i do remember seeing that now i thought it was uh here i didn't see it as you as a lone sheep i saw it as the the the lemmings the sheep the people that the followers yeah were not interested in you seriously that's how i saw i thought like oh here's the people and uh nope they're all going away from him except for this one sheep so he's just placed to a very small crowd yes
Guest:And I truly thought up until you just explained it to me that that was the reason.
Guest:Like you were just saying, hey, I'm my own guy.
Guest:I'm not for everybody.
Guest:I'm not for everybody.
Guest:I thought it was a conscious decision.
Marc:Well, I think that way works for me.
Marc:I don't have any problem with that.
Guest:Well, if I'm you, I start spinning it that way because it sounds more positive than the thing you just explained.
Marc:So you're saying like no one else understands me but this one sheep.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:And that's my friend.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:And the other sheep can go follow your other styles.
Marc:Go fuck them.
Guest:Yeah, right?
Guest:Fuck you lemmings.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Go fuck you fucking sheep.
Guest:That's what I saw.
Guest:In my head, that was basically you fucking sheep.
Guest:You don't get me.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:This one does.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And that's why he's here on stage with me.
Marc:That's right.
Marc:But you know, I don't know if you look closely, but next time maybe you will.
Marc:The way the picture is set up, my head is just among sheep's anuses.
Marc:Literally, because of the way the picture is set up, my head is just another sheep's ass.
Marc:If you look at it that way.
Guest:Again, I didn't see it like that.
Guest:Okay, this is not about making me feel better.
Guest:I want to know about you.
Guest:What do you want to know?
Guest:What did I have?
Guest:My backdrop for my Comedy Central special?
Guest:I kind of had like an old, the roast, man of the year, sort of the Dean Martin roast vibes.
Guest:It was a cartoon head of mine that may or may not look more like Todd Glass than me.
Guest:Right.
Guest:In a circle with some circles around it, kind of a retro blue.
Guest:Oh, I get it.
Guest:It was pretty cool with my name, Jimmy Pardo, in a neat font.
Guest:Right.
Marc:What you used to do, do you see yourself as sort of a retro act, as a lounge act?
Marc:Because I feel like that whole thing, you're getting away from that.
Guest:Did you used to?
Guest:I think my rat-a-tat style and my choice of words made people think that I was that way.
Guest:I don't know if that was a conscious effort.
Guest:You wore suits.
Guest:Yeah, I wear a suit from time to time.
Guest:Although, I'll tell you what, the other day, I had to come right from the plane on a stage in Cincinnati.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Just jeans and a t-shirt.
Guest:How good was that?
Guest:Jesus.
Guest:I felt, you know what, it felt like a snow day in school.
Guest:I felt like I didn't have to put the costume on.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know, and then somehow that freed up my head, too.
Guest:Like, hey, hey, we're not really, I don't have the suit on.
Guest:This isn't a real show.
Guest:We do whatever we want.
Guest:You know, it was great.
Guest:It was great, right?
Guest:Yeah, then I tried to find an excuse every other night, you know, like,
Guest:Why won't I wear the suit tonight?
Marc:Well, why would you need to wear the suit?
Marc:That's something you put on yourself.
Marc:It's your decision.
Marc:Do you have a little guy inside you that thinks that if you don't dress up, you're not really doing a show?
Marc:Well, you know what?
Guest:I think in a way I painted myself in a corner that people, because I always talk about being a gentleman, wearing a suit and a hard shoe.
Marc:Yeah.
Guest:And I think that my quote unquote fans would go, oh, he's just in Jim's shoes and a t-shirt.
Guest:That's not Jimmy.
Guest:Yeah, Jimmy.
Guest:Where's the suit and the hard shoe, Jim?
Guest:Oh, really?
Guest:So I kind of feel like painting myself in the corner.
Guest:So like if I don't wear the suit, I think I have to come up with some, you know, ah, yeah.
Guest:I was at the mall too long.
Marc:You really didn't get to the hotel.
Marc:So let me just get this straight.
Marc:If you go on stage without a suit, you're going to have to explain it somehow to yourself and then perhaps use that to open your show with open or talk about for the next 55 minutes.
Marc:That's tremendous.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And maybe that maybe you should be the guy that used to wear the suit.
Guest:I mean, that's your hook.
Guest:That's my hook.
Guest:Hey, remember part of used to wear the suit?
Yeah.
Guest:You think you had haircut trouble.
Guest:It's a whole act.
Guest:Really, that's going to be my hook?
Guest:That's your hook.
Guest:The guy who used to wear his suit.
Guest:Can't hang a hat on that.
Marc:Where the hell did you come from?
Marc:What does that mean?
Guest:I just mean, where do you come from?
Guest:That's hurtful.
Marc:I don't know anything about you.
Guest:We have a good time together.
Guest:We do enjoy each other's company.
Guest:Isn't that wild?
Guest:How the hell did that happen?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:You became a better person.
Guest:I think that's what it came down to.
Guest:Come on.
Guest:What happened?
Guest:Where'd you come from?
Guest:Chicago, Illinois.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:South suburbs.
Marc:Did you start doing comedy in Chicago?
Marc:Yeah, sure.
Guest:At Zaney's?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Really?
Guest:Yeah, Zaney's was my home club.
Guest:In 1985?
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:My first open mic was...
Guest:I did a couple open mics in 87 when I turned 21.
Guest:And then I stopped for a little while because I got a high-paying job with MCA Records.
Guest:And then in October of 88, I started again.
Guest:So you only were MCA for a year?
Guest:I stayed with MCA for...
Guest:87, late 87 to July of 89, I quit my job.
Guest:Were you A&R two years?
Guest:I was a sales rep.
Guest:A sales rep for MCA?
Guest:Yeah, I would sell the records to the record stores.
Guest:Oh, is that why, how did you get a job like that?
Guest:I worked in a record store, and the head of MCA Chicago...
Guest:He happened to live near my store.
Guest:It's funny, in retrospect, I understand what happened.
Guest:He had to go out and visit certain stores as part of his job.
Guest:Well, mine happened to be on his way home from the exit from the highway, and here's his house.
Guest:Hey, Orange's Records is right on the way.
Guest:I could write this off.
Guest:I went and saw a store.
Guest:So he would come in on a regular basis, and he would see that, in fairness to me and him, our store did no business.
Guest:So I had all day to put up displays.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:Like to advertise these releases.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:So I would take, I would literally, I'd have four hours without a single customer to put up like a great GRP jazz display.
Guest:They must have been great displays.
Guest:Right?
Guest:Four hours.
Guest:Seriously, not one customer would come in.
Guest:So this guy would come in and go, wow, this guy really cares about his job.
Guest:Look at that display.
Guest:He didn't know that I was doing it so I wouldn't kill myself.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So he said, well, you really, you know, and by the way, working in a record store at that time, the dream was to work for a label.
Guest:Sure.
Guest:You wanted to, that was the bigs.
Guest:You know, you got free concerts.
Guest:In what capacity?
Marc:Say it again.
Marc:As sales or did you actually see yourself as being an A&R?
Marc:I think just in general.
Marc:At all.
Marc:You know, I was 18.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:So you just wanted to be in the music business.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Right.
Guest:You know, I mean, you know, and unmanaged record stores.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And, you know, you always saw the guys that came in from MCA or CBS or Warner Brothers and they had, you know, boxes of promo albums.
Guest:Free records.
Guest:Free records.
Guest:Hey, you want to go see Lyle Leavitt?
Guest:Here's a couple of tickets.
Guest:Like, wow, he's got two extra to give me.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:So how many does he have for himself?
Guest:Like how many shows does he go?
Guest:So backstage passes, you know what I mean?
Guest:Everything, meeting your rock star idols.
Guest:So working in a record store for a record label, I made it as far as that went.
Guest:Did you get your free tickets?
Marc:Sure.
Marc:Were you buddies with the, did you get backstage?
Marc:Were you the record guy, the record label guy?
Marc:Yeah, you know what?
Guest:It turned out that there were people higher up in the food chain than me.
Guest:Really, than the guy who's in charge of sales?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Well, I wasn't even in charge of sales.
Guest:I was a low man on the totem pole.
Guest:I had the smallest accounts possible.
Guest:I had the Ma and Pa record stores, which are the better record stores.
Guest:You just didn't make as much money.
Marc:There's still a few around.
Marc:Mm-hmm.
Marc:So we got you working at the record company.
Marc:Yes, and starting to do open microphones.
Marc:Right.
Marc:Like, consistently.
Marc:But as a child, were you a freak of some kind?
Marc:What does that mean?
Marc:I don't know what it means.
Marc:I mean, you're a quick personality.
Marc:You're intense.
Marc:You're all over the place.
Marc:Charming?
Marc:Charming.
Marc:Yeah, of course.
Guest:You have to be.
Marc:If I picture you as, say, maybe a seventh grader, I see you selling things out of the back of a car.
Marc:Anything like that in your past?
Marc:Playing cars, rolling dice in the hallway.
Marc:Nothing?
Marc:I didn't grow up in the 50s.
Marc:Okay.
Guest:You seem to have that vibe, though.
Guest:I wasn't one of the lords of Flatbush.
Guest:You weren't?
No.
Guest:The rubber band didn't work.
Guest:I've said this before, and I beat myself up over it.
Guest:I wish I would have embraced being unique and interesting, and I didn't.
Guest:I chose to try to fit in with the popular people.
Guest:You did?
Guest:I tried to.
Guest:I didn't.
Guest:That's crazy.
Guest:I guess we all do.
Guest:But I spent too much time trying.
Guest:And what happened?
Guest:i would fail and and from time you know i always try to ask the the popular girls out on dates they would say no and then yeah then you know i'd show up in the next class and the popular boy would make fun of me for having even tried uh which you know i which i think in retrospect is hey good for good for me i fucking tried yeah you stepped out there but at the same time i wish i would have went you know what i am a guy that likes and eventually i kind of did i
Guest:Eventually, like junior year and senior year of high school, I finally went, you know, I found my group of friends, whether they be the theater guys and girls, or I was in a band in high school.
Guest:Did you do musical theater?
Guest:Sure, of course.
Guest:And I always had the non-singing roles, even though I was the lead singer of a band.
Guest:I was not a good singer.
Guest:Did you dance?
Guest:No, I was always cast as the comic relief non-singing role where you didn't have to sing, you didn't have to dance.
Guest:The guy who stumbled in with his hat.
Guest:That's it.
Guest:That's it.
Guest:I was, like in Anything Goes, I was the 65-year-old man.
Guest:They had to put gray in my hair and I'd come in, another round of drinks, my good man, and then stumbled off stage.
Guest:And then everybody would laugh and talk about that.
Guest:Comic relief.
Guest:Yeah, that was me.
Guest:But, yeah, I wish I would have learned that sooner.
Marc:Yeah, I think I scrambled around until probably last year.
Marc:Yeah?
Marc:Yeah, and trying to figure out who the hell I am and where I fit in.
Marc:I think there's part of me that's still trying to do that.
Marc:Like, I still have residual of that.
Marc:Like, last night, I was hanging out at a place, and there was all these tattoo people and cool people, and I literally got that feeling.
Marc:I'm like, they're better than me somehow.
Guest:Yeah, but they're not and they're just as insecure and scared as you are which cover up their skin with ink.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:They're hiding behind somebody's artwork.
Guest:Yeah, I don't hide behind anything I mean these glasses make me uncomfortable because I think that I'm hiding a little bit You know I used to wear glasses and I used to love wearing them on stage for that reason you I kind of felt like Like a little bit of a shield between me and the audience.
Guest:I don't remember you in glasses ever um
Guest:Were you on Caroline's wearing glasses?
Guest:I can't remember if I wore them or not on Caroline's.
Guest:I used to do a whole bit about buying glasses and, you know, them putting that puff of air in your eye.
Marc:Oh, but that's when you go to the ophthalmologist.
Guest:Now, this was...
Marc:Just an optometrist?
Marc:Yeah, just an optometrist.
Marc:They did the puff of air in your eye?
Marc:They did a little puff of air.
Marc:They did?
Marc:The glaucoma test?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I think you're mistaken.
Marc:No, no, no.
Marc:I never went to an ophthalmologist because I can't even say it.
Marc:No, an ophthalmologist, an optometrist doesn't do a glaucoma test.
Marc:They have to be doctors.
Marc:It's an ophthalmologist, a doctor.
Marc:An optometrist is not a doctor.
Marc:It's like a podiatrist.
Marc:They're not doctors.
Guest:I'm going to tell you.
Guest:I'm going to tell you two things.
Guest:Do you ever go to a podiatrist?
Guest:Number one, I'm going to ignore that question.
Guest:Number two, I went to get my glasses and whoever the hell fitted me put the puff of air in my eye.
Guest:All right, fine, fine.
Guest:I'm not going to argue with you.
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:It could have been a doctor.
Guest:It could have been the guy that sells the frames.
Guest:I don't know who did it.
Guest:All right.
Guest:But I sat down in a chair, because I did a bit about it.
Marc:I'm just saying that if it wasn't a doctor, then perhaps there's a lawsuit.
Marc:You can't be puffing people's eyes without an MD.
Guest:It could have been the kid unloading the pallets.
Guest:Did he do it with his mouth?
No.
Guest:You know what?
Guest:Now that I think about it, he may have.
Guest:He may have.
Guest:You're right.
Guest:That does seem a little low rent.
Guest:Good prices.
Guest:I thought it was just because they were good prices.
Guest:They're cutting back.
Guest:So you don't wear contacts now or you do?
Guest:No, I had the laser.
Guest:Lasik.
Guest:And that worked for you?
Marc:Love it.
Marc:It didn't frighten you?
Marc:No.
Marc:I welcome it.
Marc:And how long ago was that?
Marc:10 years ago.
Marc:Holy shit.
Marc:Did you advertise it on the air?
Marc:I don't know what that means.
Marc:Oh, you didn't do radio, did you?
Marc:No, no.
Marc:LASIK used to be the... They'd offer everybody radio spots, and there was a time where I was doing radio where I could have gotten LASIK for free.
Marc:Well, you should have done it.
Marc:I didn't.
Marc:Take advantage.
Marc:Well, I don't... Because it's your eyes, and you should save as much money as possible.
Marc:I'm going to take my glasses off and see what happens.
Marc:Weird, right?
Marc:No.
Marc:Really?
Marc:It's not jarring to you?
Marc:It's not jarring at all.
Marc:No, I mean, you think if I got on stage like this, people would be like, no, no, put them back on, put them back on.
Marc:Well, I think if they didn't know, what's your concern?
Marc:My concern is that the only thing that people remember about me is my glasses.
Marc:Yeah, but you know what?
Marc:They'll forget about that in a year.
Marc:Oh, they will?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And they'll just remember what I say?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:And whatever haircut I might have?
Marc:Oh, sure.
Marc:Now, how long do I have to keep the goatee and the mustache that I got going now?
Marc:I've made a commitment to this.
Marc:Nobody knows about the commitment of you.
Marc:What is my problem?
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:Cut it.
Marc:Shave it off.
Marc:Your parents, what kind of family you come from?
Marc:Let's get into this stuff today.
Marc:Here we go.
Marc:Let's dig deep.
Marc:I love it.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I just want to make sure.
Marc:I'm not going to go crazy because I don't want anyone crying here.
Marc:Nobody's going to weep.
Marc:I might.
Marc:Seriously?
Marc:Sure.
Marc:Over that goatee?
Marc:Well, I mean, my lack of confidence and now going back to high school and remembering... But we all had it.
Guest:I think any comic that was confident in high school isn't a good comic.
Marc:Yeah, the confidence in general bothers me.
Marc:Did we talk about this?
Marc:I'm sure it's crossed our conversational paths.
Marc:The unfounded confidence thing?
Marc:It bothers me very much.
Marc:Yeah, right?
Marc:Like I'll say on stage sometimes, I'll say literally, it's like, if you are happy, I don't know what you're doing here.
Guest:Well, I try to be happy.
Marc:I've got a wife and a kid.
Marc:But see the important word there was?
Marc:Try.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:What I'm saying is that it's my belief that people who go to stand-up comedy clubs...
Marc:To perform or to watch?
Marc:To watch.
Marc:That at some point in their day, this happened.
Marc:Oh, is this how it's going to be?
Marc:You know what I mean?
Marc:Yeah, I do.
Marc:And I imagine that's everybody, but well-adjusted people who are going out for an evening to entertainment.
Marc:I don't want them in my room.
Guest:Well, you know, that goes to my idea of when I open up a comedy club called Off Nights, which is just Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday, because those are the misfit weirdo comedy fans, and you're confident, hey, let's just go out and do something.
Guest:Movie, bowling, or comedy club, those are your Friday, Saturday folks.
Guest:Right.
Guest:So I don't disagree with that.
Marc:I don't enjoy the Saturday shows.
Marc:They're not as good as they used to be.
Guest:They're not as fun as a Thursday or Sunday, as far as I'm concerned.
Guest:But the audience, right?
Guest:It's not you.
Guest:It's not me.
Guest:I think people that are on a Thursday or Sunday want to watch comedy, and weekends, that's something to do.
Guest:I even like a Friday second show now.
Guest:I never used to.
Guest:I don't know if I'm going to go that far with you.
Guest:Oh, but Saturday, high expectations.
Guest:Very quiet.
Guest:It's the high expectations.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:They sit down, you know, although the Cincinnati, that go bananas.
Guest:There's not a clunker in the bunch at that club.
Guest:That club in Columbus, you like that club?
Guest:I had a pleasure of working there with Richard Lewis maybe 10, 12 years ago.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:And it was a two-man show, me and Richard Lewis.
Guest:Really?
Guest:And I sat and watched every show.
Guest:You know, the man, he's a legend.
Guest:Did you enjoy watching him?
Guest:I loved it.
Guest:I still like him a great deal.
Guest:He is in my top five of all time.
Marc:He's one of my favorites.
Marc:What are the other four?
Guest:Yeah, you know who they are.
Guest:I mean, we don't have to get into it.
Marc:I think we should get into it.
Marc:How would I know?
Marc:Do you talk about it on your show?
Marc:I talked about it at the car wash today.
Marc:You did?
Marc:Sure.
Marc:Just a guy, you were watching the guy, the Mexicans.
Guest:He said, how you doing today?
Guest:He said, top five comics, here they come.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:And?
Guest:You know, I think Richard Lewis, obviously Richard Lewis is in there, Johnny Carson, Don Rickles.
Guest:You know, I credit Robert Klein for, you know, being the first observational comic.
Guest:I give him credit for the way that we basically...
Guest:you know got us into what we do today yeah it's Robert I think it's Robert Klein and Richard Lewis to an extent of really uh form what I do which is you know you know got to overanalyze comedy but to you know to look at life and and and and find what's funny about it and but yet be you know improvisational within that sure do you write jokes
Guest:It's a strong word.
Marc:I'm sorry.
Marc:I know.
Marc:I feel the same way.
Marc:Nah, you know what?
Marc:Because when I've seen you, it seems that you'll go on and then just go.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Guest:I mean, I'll go up and talk about something that happened that day, and I'll try to find the funny in there, and then I will tighten the screws on that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But for the moment, no, I don't.
Guest:And you know what?
Guest:It's probably hurt me in the long run.
Marc:See, I sometimes think that as well, that I think that there's a disciplined way to do that.
Marc:that I don't utilize at all.
Guest:I wouldn't even know how to utilize it.
Guest:I really wouldn't know.
Guest:You know, somebody once said to me, and this is when Dave Attell was at the peak of his powers.
Guest:Somebody said- Six years ago?
Guest:Yeah, it was about six years ago.
Guest:They said, if you wrote more, you'd be more successful than Dave Attell right now.
Guest:And I went in my head, yeah, but I don't.
Guest:And I didn't even fight it.
Guest:I just went, oh, okay, maybe he's right.
Guest:But it didn't even occur to me the next day to go, well, maybe I should write more.
Guest:That never crossed my mind.
Guest:It was just like, well, that's not what I do.
Marc:Maybe they're right, maybe they're wrong.
Marc:I don't know.
Marc:But I think that people like you and I thrive on something different.
Marc:The satisfaction of a joke working is not as good as the satisfaction of thinking on your feet.
Marc:I like being on my feet.
Guest:And being in the present.
Guest:being in the moment, telling a story, finding the funny, and then whether or not you're telling that story, you know.
Guest:Isn't that the most amazing thing?
Marc:But the problem is that means that we have those moments where you're like, you walk off and people go, that was a great show.
Marc:And you might think that was a good show, but the moment you hang on to is like, remember when I was talking to that guy about his dog?
Marc:Right.
Marc:He did that thing?
Marc:That made the whole we.
Guest:I love it.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I love it.
Guest:In Cincinnati this past week, I did a thing where a guy said...
Guest:I said, how old are your kids?
Guest:And he goes, I think she's 27.
Guest:And I just went, father of the year, he's father.
Guest:And I just did this dumb Wayne Brady-esque sort of father of the year song that it made me laugh.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:And then, of course, the audience gets caught up in that.
Guest:You enjoy it.
Guest:And then I improvise some other dumb thing about how I'm getting older and I got to get my prostate checked, but I'm so OCD that I don't know where that doctor's hands have been, so I have him use his penis.
Guest:And it's, you know, but again, it's like, if I took the time to write that, it'd be like, what are you writing?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But like, if you just, if, if, if it just happens, you know, you're like, Hey, that's pretty fucking funny.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You know what I mean?
Guest:That's a, that's a well-crafted joke that I just improvised.
Guest:I just improvised a well-crafted joke that somebody else would have went, well, this word here, this word there, this, this.
Guest:But so, uh, I enjoy that.
Marc:I mean, you keep that joke now though.
Guest:Oh, I'm going to use that one.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But I'm a little embarrassed.
Guest:I'm a little embarrassed that I brought up a conversation here.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Um, uh,
Guest:Because I'm not a guy that likes to repeat my act like, hey, here's what I said.
Guest:It was in context.
Guest:Thank you.
Guest:But again, I'm so freaking insecure and weird that I needed to explain that to myself.
Marc:But that's the way I write, too, and I don't think a lot of people understand that, that I need to corner myself on stage in that moment for anything funny to come out.
Marc:If I try to write a funny thing down, I'm like, I don't know.
Marc:But, like, if you're in the moment, it's like, nothing's happening in this second.
Guest:I gotta get my prostate checked.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Guest:Hey, look at you, old man.
Guest:Get your prostate.
Guest:You know, whenever it pans out, hey, look at this guy in gray hair.
Guest:You're getting old.
Guest:And then, boom, that, you know, your mind clicks, which is why, again, I like these.
Guest:I like the Wednesdays, Thursdays, Sundays, because you have the freedom to do that at those shows.
Marc:It puts us
Marc:in a position to wait so long for jokes to finish themselves is that that's the weird thing is that you know you got an idea you tried on stage a couple of times and you had that one golden moment where the the original joke popped right but then like it's sort of like i've had jokes that i tell and i find a new beat to them three four years later sure yeah sure and it's like that's an awful long time to write a joke he's like how long did it take you to write that joke i did 10 years i got the first beat you know 10 years ago the second beat six years ago then uh and i finally found the callback yeah
Guest:Exactly.
Guest:In fact, I was so proud of this, it's ridiculous.
Guest:I tell this story about going, a true story that happened to me at a Subway sandwich shop, and there's always been this little middle part there, this little, no more, it was three sentences, and it never worked.
Guest:Those three lines never got a laugh, which in the big scheme of an hour set, okay, who cares?
Guest:But every time I would do those three things, it would bring the show to a halt.
Guest:And this week, and I came home and I said to my wife, I said, you know what I did?
Guest:I got rid of those three sentences.
Guest:It only took me six years, but I got rid of those three sentences.
Guest:No more.
Guest:And it makes that joke just go.
Guest:And by the way, the three sentences are, you know, it was basically, how big are Subway sandwich shops?
Guest:What are they, 10 feet by 10 feet?
Guest:That's it.
Guest:That's it.
Guest:That's it.
Guest:That's two sentences.
Guest:I can't rid of that.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:But yet it made getting, it made the bit tighter and faster and it, you know, it got the.
Marc:So you got rid of the joke works better.
Marc:I think it does.
Marc:So we, so we do write jokes.
Marc:We just don't write one-liners.
Guest:We don't write one, which I think, by the way, I'm envious of.
Guest:Yeah, me too.
Guest:I'm jealous of.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:When it's time to go up at a UCB or a quote-unquote open mic, and when you do what you and I do in the middle of these guys that go up and do one-liners, it's easy to get laughs.
Guest:That's no disrespect to good joke writers, by the way.
Guest:But you go up and go, because those words do all the work for you.
Guest:With what you and I do, if you tell a story and it's just, eh?
Yeah.
Guest:And then the next guy goes up and, you know, has left turn, left turn.
Marc:You know what I mean?
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Oh, here it comes.
Guest:How great were Tony's jokes tonight, man?
Guest:Really, Mark and Jimmy, they improvised stories.
Guest:They put their hearts out there.
Guest:Right?
Guest:And it's like, yeah, but he didn't find it.
Guest:You know, Paul Tompkins, same way.
Guest:You get out there and you try to do these stories and you have to work them out somewhere.
Yeah.
Marc:I did a story the other night that like it was really that moment where I said the end of the story.
Marc:And there was no laughter.
Marc:It was just a poignant moment.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And I knew it.
Marc:And I knew that the end, you know, and then I just, it came out.
Marc:Well, it was this long story I told on the podcast once before about thinking a guy was a terrorist on a plane.
Marc:Okay.
Marc:And this whole rigmarole of what I went through.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:You know, thinking he was a terrorist and what I was going through in my mind and how the stewardesses became, you know, suspect of me because I was in a panic.
Guest:Right.
Guest:I heard you tell the story.
Marc:Yeah, yeah.
Marc:Did you tell this on my show?
Marc:At the UCB?
Marc:I don't think so.
Marc:You told it somewhere.
Marc:You might have heard it on the podcast.
Marc:Oh, that can't be.
Marc:But I've heard it somewhere.
Marc:I might have told it on the UCB.
Guest:I think you told it on the UCB.
Marc:Yeah, but then I get this beat where like, you know, like the beat before was just sort of like I sat down and at the end, you know, we were landing and the stewardess who was suspecting me initially, she said, are you okay?
Marc:I said, I'm like, yeah, I'm fine.
Marc:I just got something in my head.
Marc:And she goes, you know, well, you know, it happens.
Marc:We all do.
Marc:And I'm like, well, there were two beats I came up with.
Marc:And I'm like, well, you're a racist.
Marc:And I thought it was one beat.
Marc:But the beat that I liked the most was that, like, after I went through this insanity, I saw the guy who I thought was the terrorist walk back after I thought he was in the cockpit killing.
Marc:Right.
Marc:And I walked back and I look at him and he looks at me.
Marc:And I realized at that moment that I had lost the war on terrorism.
Right.
Marc:And that got a good laugh.
Marc:That's a nice line.
Marc:I'm not even sure why.
Marc:That's a nice line.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:Because, you know, I was incapacitated.
Marc:I don't have to read too much into it, but the beat was there.
Guest:Whenever I will tell something like that and then the end of the story happens and no laugh happens,
Guest:or a a good story kind of you can see the audience is with you it's not like they're bored i always panic and then i yell at them for not getting it right even though they got it they enjoyed it yeah and it's a you know uh or i will then go oh i'm sorry i'm sorry nobody was fucked in the ass in that joke yeah well what happened yeah what happened you freaked out you know they left you alone yeah it is it's like where are you i thought we were friends what kind of friends leave their friend alone right
Guest:Right?
Guest:No, I know.
Guest:You were with me for four minutes of that story.
Guest:Why in the last 30 seconds did you decide to bail on me?
Guest:How do you abandon me?
Marc:Well, that's what I always wonder about you.
Marc:Because I'd like to believe I'm not like that.
Marc:If I'm letting something sit, to be honest with you, between me and you and whoever the hell's listening to this,
Marc:If I'm letting something sit, it's taking a lot of energy.
Marc:Like, it doesn't just happen naturally.
Marc:Right.
Marc:If I'm not getting laughs and I'm pretending like it's okay, I'm pretending.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marc:I got you.
Marc:Like, it's okay.
Marc:Like, I'm not cool with like, you know, okay, if I'm saying like, no, like, I understand.
Marc:It's not, maybe it's not that kind of a joke where people laugh that much.
Marc:But whatever the case, I want the laughs.
Right.
Marc:Oh, yeah.
Marc:You get them.
Guest:Yes, I do.
Guest:I don't always get them.
Guest:Well, I don't always either.
Guest:Do you really not?
Guest:Well, you know what happens, Mark?
Guest:And I get angry at myself for it.
Guest:I will go to a UCB or I will go to a... I don't want to say an open mic because I don't do that.
Guest:but yeah they're not called that anymore anyways they're just called a comic produced show all right i'll go to a comic produced show or i'll go to a booked program and with every like i'll you know i'll have my index card yeah of uh okay i'm gonna hit these i'm gonna i'm gonna do these are my six new ideas yeah and then i'll do the first one it'll go and then you don't see those other five i go into hey what's your name hey i gotta call you i gotta leave here happy and then i'll get home i'll go hi hey how did the new stuff go and i go i bailed after one and
Guest:And she's like, why?
Guest:You know, you know you can do what you do.
Guest:You know that the old jokes work.
Guest:You know that working the crowd works.
Guest:You know that being in the moment works.
Guest:You know, it's getting these new things to try.
Guest:So, you know, if you're not, you've got to fail somewhere.
Guest:But I'm so goddamn afraid of it on stage that I, you know, it's hard for me to follow through and try the new stuff.
Marc:Yeah, well, you know what's given me some inspiration about that is fucking CK.
Marc:And I say that with love.
Marc:But, you know, fucking Louis, successful Louis.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:They call him in the business.
Marc:Successful.
Marc:I still call him Lucky Louie.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Good for you.
Marc:He called himself that.
Marc:I think he's terrific.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Well, you know, he he will force himself if he's and he's generating an awful lot.
Marc:I mean, he's doing a new hour a year, a year, and he's got a work ethic around it.
Marc:And he said he will throw away the jokes.
Marc:That, you know, when he's working on a new hour, the hour he did before, not happening.
Marc:Not going to use it.
Marc:I tried that.
Marc:I tried it in Atlanta.
Marc:And?
Marc:Well, because of the way we work, I think he works differently.
Marc:I think he writes.
Marc:He writes.
Marc:it's a little more difficult but you know once i started to find things that i wanted to do and and then you start to realize that like dude like you know i got a couple of stories i'm telling they're not quite right you know but i got to find where the beats are and i got to add beats and the only way i'm going to be able to do that is is put them out there it's just that it's an insecurity yeah it's like but i could do that old thing i did no man and so you did it all week in atlanta you did nothing but new stuff i did about 35 40 minutes new stuff that's great good for you
Marc:And the crowd stayed with you?
Guest:Yeah, I couldn't believe it.
Guest:You know, again, I hear nothing but, what is it, 75 people sitting there?
Marc:Yeah, you can't lose.
Marc:Right, love it.
Marc:It's real nice, it's real intimate.
Marc:But there were some fragmented jokes, there were some pieces that, you know, I'm trying to work some callbacks, and I'm trying to build an hour for a new CD that kind of calls back on itself and does a few things.
Marc:And, you know, I bailed on some of that.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:I bailed on setting up a callback.
Marc:But I think it's interesting that you have... So you do this with your wife.
Marc:You do this thing.
Marc:Oh, sure.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:I don't have one of them anymore.
Marc:I mean, I don't want to bring that up.
Guest:Oh, did it come up again?
Marc:No, it did.
Marc:It's hot in here, right?
Marc:I'm sorry.
Marc:Should I put the air on?
Marc:Should we take a break?
Guest:Do you remember the movie The Full Monty?
Guest:Let's see how loud this is.
Guest:Answer me.
Marc:Yeah, I remember.
Marc:Remember the full Monty?
Guest:I'm not taking my clothes off.
Guest:I feel like, remember when he went into the steam room and his garage wrapped himself in plastic and ate a snicker bar?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That's how I feel right now.
Marc:Well, this will be an experiment.
Marc:Let's see how much the air conditioner affects the podcast.
Marc:Can you hear that?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You can hear it pretty loud, right?
Marc:Yeah, it's annoying.
Marc:Is it?
Guest:I think it'll be annoying to a listener.
Guest:Oh, yeah?
Guest:I don't know.
Guest:Let's leave it on for one second.
Guest:Or maybe eventually the fact that you and I refuse to stop talking.
Marc:I don't want to lose the momentum, but I also don't want to be in heat.
Marc:See, I don't mind sweating and sitting here and sweating the way I am.
Marc:Are you getting a little lightheaded?
Marc:No, no, I'm fine, but I'm looking at you and I'm thinking he's uncomfortable.
Marc:I'm more concerned about you.
Guest:I chose, and this is my mistake, I chose a flannel shirt and Dickies to wear.
Guest:No, I didn't understand that either, but I thought maybe it was the allergy thing.
Guest:I am wearing blue jeans, which was an error.
Guest:My house keeps the cool in, even though we don't have an air conditioner.
Marc:You don't have an air conditioner.
Guest:No, I was going to get it this summer, but the summer has actually been not so hot where I live.
Marc:How many summers have you been saying that?
Marc:We've only been to this, this is our second summer there.
Marc:I've been saying that here since 2004.
Marc:I've been sweating, and literally, there have been summers up in this part, because we're east, so it gets hot.
Marc:Where I literally am incapacitated by borderline heat stroke.
Marc:And I still say, like, I'm going to put central air in.
Guest:I was going to do it this year, but it has not gotten to the point where I got to do it.
Guest:You don't want to do it in the middle of that?
Guest:No, I know.
Guest:Well, here's what I'm going to do now.
Guest:I'm going to wait it out.
Guest:I'm going to get it done like in October where everybody's not getting their air conditioning done.
Guest:So I get it in October.
Guest:All right, so you get it on sale.
Guest:You get a nice price.
Guest:Yeah, cut that down.
Guest:We got a little bit, though, right?
Guest:It was comfortable.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Bottom line, I didn't put shorts on because I thought it was cool outside.
Guest:Oh, no.
Guest:And then I literally... I walked from my door to my car.
Guest:I was like, oh, this is a mistake.
Guest:But then I was running late to my other meeting, and so I had to... I just got moving.
Guest:You have another meeting?
Guest:I had stuff prior to this.
Guest:You did?
Guest:I had other stuff before today.
Marc:How far are we away?
Guest:You live in the valley?
Guest:No, no.
Guest:I live down near LAX a little bit.
Guest:Holy shit.
Guest:Yeah, this was... So this is a day.
Guest:This was an error, yeah.
Guest:This was...
Guest:Let me tell you how far away this is.
Guest:This was, hey, since I'm that far, I might as well do that other thing, too.
Guest:Like, it was one of those, like, hey, I'll get that in Burbank, and then I'll go to Mark's.
Guest:Like, it was that sort of a day.
Guest:Finally.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:I'm finally going to be out that far.
Marc:Exactly.
Guest:I'm going to be out that far.
Guest:I'll go to Burbank.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Oh, God.
Marc:I'm sorry.
Marc:It's worked out.
Marc:So can I interview your wife?
Marc:Would you want to talk to my wife?
Marc:Well, someone brought up that I should do a podcast with comedians' wives.
Guest:Well, but my wife is also a comedian and a writer.
Guest:Do I know her?
Guest:You've asked this a thousand times.
Guest:Her name is Danielle Koenig.
Guest:You've met her on many occasions.
Guest:Why do you got to say a thousand times?
Guest:I don't even think we've talked that many times.
Guest:When you first moved to L.A., you bopped around to a bunch of the comedy shows that I didn't do, but my wife was doing.
Marc:Okay, so you're saying that you're at a different level than me, that you're already at a higher level?
Marc:No, sir.
Marc:I'm not sure what you're implying.
Guest:I'm saying that I didn't...
Guest:No.
Guest:Again, that's one of the errors I made was that I chose not to do any of those things.
Marc:Oh, because you were a mainstream act?
Guest:You were a comedy club comic?
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:I was a Largo guy at that time.
Guest:I was Largo.
Guest:Yeah, I remember seeing you at Largo.
Guest:But I... But, um...
Guest:I valued my time.
Guest:I would rather do anything but do stand-up when I was in town, and I still kind of feel like I'd rather be at home than go out to a club.
Marc:Oh, I see, because you were on the road a lot.
Marc:I was on the road a lot.
Guest:You already had a career.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:When my wife was my girlfriend, she would go out and hit all these things, and you would be there, and your ex-wife would also be there.
Guest:Yeah, I'm sure I know her.
Guest:Say hi to her for me.
Marc:I sure will.
Guest:She's got nothing but great things and great experiences.
Guest:No, that's not true.
Guest:Well, you know, we talked about it on my podcast where we ran into you at the airport and you acted as if we didn't exist.
Guest:Yeah, but I don't know why you keep bringing that up.
Guest:Because it was uncomfortable for us.
Guest:How about that?
Guest:How about because it ruined our flight?
Guest:Oh, I have that power.
Guest:You ruined our day.
Marc:I did not ruin your day.
Guest:We're talking about it 10 years later.
Guest:Well, I think I've made up for it.
Guest:Hey, Mark, how are you?
Guest:Just walk past.
Guest:Walk past as if we didn't even speak to you.
Marc:You know what I was doing?
Marc:Here's what I was doing.
Marc:What were you doing?
Marc:I was probably saying, here's what was going on in my head.
Marc:I'm fucking, this is ridiculous.
Marc:Why am I even going to do that gig?
Marc:I mean, no one's going to fucking show up tonight.
Marc:And I don't even know what the fucking club is like.
Marc:Hi, Mark.
Marc:How are you doing?
Marc:I don't know if I didn't hear anything.
Marc:I didn't hear anything.
Guest:Did I ever tell you about when I ran into Bobby Slayton at the airport?
Guest:Bobby Slayton.
Guest:Bobby Slayton is getting on the same plane as me.
Guest:We're both the priority boarding on American Airlines.
Guest:Good for you.
Guest:Because you committed.
Guest:I committed to one airline.
Guest:That's exactly right.
Guest:Me too.
Guest:You do that early.
Guest:I wish I would have done it sooner.
Guest:How long ago was this?
Marc:You know what?
Marc:I only started doing American maybe five years ago.
Marc:Yeah, I've been on board with that.
Marc:Have you taken any nice trips with your free miles?
Guest:I use my miles to get upgrades.
Guest:I'd rather use my miles to sit in first class than to take a nice trip.
Guest:You have a family that you tell that to?
Guest:I love sitting in first class.
Guest:Okay.
I love it.
Guest:I'll get the upgrade occasionally.
Guest:I love it.
Guest:You sit there with me.
Marc:But do you always get an upgrade?
Marc:How much do you fly?
Guest:You know what?
Guest:Yesterday, I flew back from Cincinnati, and I actually said to my wife, guess what?
Guest:Didn't get the upgrade.
Guest:And it might have been the first time this year.
Guest:What are we, in August?
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:So... No kidding.
Guest:Yeah, I get it a lot.
Guest:I...
Guest:It's night and day for me.
Marc:As much as I travel... In what order do you talk to your wife?
Marc:Like, I didn't get the upgrade and I didn't do the three jokes?
Marc:Or do it first?
Marc:And then, how are you?
Marc:Oh, right, right.
Guest:It goes, hey, I didn't get the upgrade.
Guest:Hey, I got these new three jokes.
Guest:And then, how are you doing?
Guest:And then, how's the boy?
Guest:Oh, the boy.
Guest:That's not fair.
Guest:Of course, we first saw that.
Guest:So I run into Bobby Slayton and Bobby, you know, comes up and says, you know, he's the pit bull.
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Bobby Slayton.
Guest:He comes up.
Guest:Jimmy Pardo.
Guest:He goes, what are you doing?
Guest:He looks right at me.
Guest:He goes, what are you doing?
Guest:Priority.
Guest:Let's get on the plane.
Guest:And I turn around and I go, you shut the fuck up.
Guest:And he goes, oh, okay.
Guest:I guess we'll just get on.
Guest:And I go, Bobby, Jimmy Pardo.
Guest:He goes, oh, okay, man.
Guest:Yeah, good to see you.
Guest:The beauty of that story is he thought I was just a stranger telling him to shut the fuck up, and he was okay with it.
Guest:Like, it happens every day.
Guest:Like, every day somebody tells Bobby Slayton to shut the fuck up, and he was okay.
Guest:It might happen every day.
Guest:Right?
Guest:If there's a candidate for that, it's Bobby.
Guest:Hey, you shut the fuck up.
Guest:Oh, okay, man.
Guest:Yeah, you get out when you want.
Guest:Like, it was okay.
Guest:Do you think he knew you when you fired?
Guest:No, I asked him.
Guest:I said, I go, and he goes, I don't know, man.
Guest:I'm just panning by getting on the plane.
Guest:I didn't even know.
Guest:I didn't know it was you.
Guest:Oh, my God.
Guest:He had me canceled from a gig once.
Guest:I was supposed to open for him, and he had me canceled.
Guest:Because of that?
Guest:No, no.
Guest:This happened a month ago.
Guest:Oh, then he deserved it.
Guest:Ha, ha, ha.
Guest:He had me, you know what?
Guest:I'll tell you something.
Guest:This happened in 1997.
Guest:Uh-huh.
Guest:We had just done a show together at the Improv here in Hollywood.
Guest:Right.
Guest:And I was booked to open for him in Irvine for a week at the Improv in Irvine.
Guest:And I got the call that day, day of, and by the way, this is, you know, this has to be, like I say, 96, 97, where I needed that $500.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:That meant, that was going to change my life, you know?
Guest:Oh, yeah.
Guest:And I'm not saying $500 tomorrow wouldn't change my life.
Guest:You know what I'm saying?
Guest:But, like, at that time, I wasn't going to be able to pay my bills if I didn't make that week.
Guest:So I get the phone call, Bobby wants to cancel you, and I was so, you know, he doesn't want you on the same show as him.
Guest:And I was so...
Guest:Curious and angry and then it took me years to figure out.
Guest:Well, I wouldn't want to follow me either when I kind of do the same thing All right, you know, you talk I talk quickly.
Marc:I talked to the crowd You know, I you know, I've got an quote-unquote anger right then you think that was the thing it had to be there's no other There's no other explanation too much similar to you now You seem like a perfectly pleasant guy, but you just made me realize you are angry up there
Guest:Well, it's, you know, it's 90% foe.
Guest:I mean, it's a stage persona.
Guest:Is it?
Guest:You know, Joan Rivers, I recently said, when my wife and I saw her.
Guest:She's a miserable mess.
Guest:Well, but I think she's very funny and she's terrific.
Guest:And I like that she speaks her mind.
Guest:She said that she described herself as an actress doing stand-up.
Guest:She talks about that in her documentary.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:That she considers herself an actress, not a comedian.
Guest:And my wife at this Q&A said, what did you mean by that?
Guest:And she said, you know, I'm not like that all the time.
Guest:I amplify it for the stage.
Guest:So in essence, I'm doing an act.
Guest:So I kind of feel the same with what I do.
Guest:You know, I do have some anger issues, obviously, and some insecurities and some bitterness towards some kid in the hallway in sophomore year of high school making fun of my height that I bring out on stage.
Guest:You still pissed off at that kid?
Guest:Oh, yeah, certainly, yeah.
Guest:Have you contacted him?
Guest:I'd have to make a lot of calls.
Okay.
Marc:I would have to.
Marc:Now, what do people get on iTunes when they go to get a Jimmy Parker?
Marc:They get 20 minutes.
Marc:They get the first 20 minutes free.
Guest:Oh, so that's enough for some people.
Guest:For more than I'd like it to be.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah, 20 minutes seems to be plenty.
Guest:And people even write, hey, I'd buy it, but you guys, you fulfill my need with 20 minutes.
Marc:Well, let me ask you another question then.
Marc:How much, like if a fellow who listens to my podcast wants to go pay for yours, how much do they pay for that?
Guest:Oh, they would pay $19.99.
Guest:You'd get 26 episodes.
Guest:That's 77 cents an episode.
Marc:And you get $19.99 for the whole year?
Guest:No, for $26, half a year.
Guest:Or $24.99 if you want the video component along with it, which a lot of people seem to enjoy.
Marc:No kidding.
Marc:Yeah, it's the same show.
Guest:That's your business model.
Marc:$20 for half a year.
Guest:$20 for half a year.
Guest:And you get some bonus episodes as well that do not go into the free feed.
Guest:You get some recordings of my live shows.
Guest:And you do the video element live?
Guest:Well, you're there.
Guest:You saw it.
Guest:There are cameras.
Marc:I know that, but is that like happening as you're doing it?
Guest:Yeah, it's basically like, you know, remember when Howard Stern was on E and it would be a radio show with cameras?
Guest:No, I understand that.
Guest:What I'm saying is, are they watching in real time?
Guest:No, I apologize.
Guest:I misunderstood what you're saying.
Guest:No, it's not streaming.
Guest:You know, they get released on, you know, Wednesdays to the paid subscriber Friday.
Guest:Well, video is not available for free people.
Guest:It's just audio only.
Marc:okay well that's uh that that's see because you know i'm doing it a different way yeah you're going you're going donations donations and selling some premium content now we sell some live ones oh you are and uh so we do we are able to sell premium episodes okay and we have advertisers and that's going yeah i know you got a lot of advertisers you're doing very well we do all right i mean you're doing great more than others you know adam and eve is good
Guest:Remember Joker's comedy club in Dayton, Ohio?
Guest:She would sell sex toys in the lobby.
Guest:I remember that.
Guest:And people, comics were irate about it.
Guest:And she never made you advertise it on stage.
Guest:She never made you promote it on stage.
Guest:They were just there.
Guest:And I think it's brilliant for this reason.
Guest:women and or men are embarrassed.
Guest:Some are embarrassed to go to a sex shop to buy a dildo or whatever sex toy they want.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:But if they buy it at the comedy club on the way out, I'm going to get this for Bob as a joke.
Guest:Yeah, they're comfortable buying it.
Guest:And then therefore, you know, so same with Adam and Eve.
Guest:Like, you're right.
Guest:Somebody listening to you might not go to a sex shop, but I can do it privately through Adam and Eve.
Marc:Someone's buying that shit.
Marc:Most people are buying that shit somewhere.
Marc:I mean, it's a huge industry.
Marc:One thing I couldn't sell, I couldn't sell man greats.
Marc:I don't even know what that is.
Marc:It was a promotional thing that, you know, Corolla had some success with it.
Marc:They were basically a grill thing that you put on your grill to extend the power of the grill.
Marc:You know, it was two pieces of the grill that get really hot so you sear it.
Marc:It's a grilling thing.
Marc:It's like a guy who grills.
Marc:That's who would buy that.
Marc:That's not your guys.
Marc:No, and we told them that.
Marc:We said, I don't think this is our guy.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Yeah, but, you know, you give it a try.
Marc:You say, man, great.
Guest:Sure, yeah, let's try it.
Marc:I get behind it as much as I can.
Marc:But I think that the sex toys is more across the board.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:Where are you headed now?
Guest:After this is over?
Guest:I'm going to go and get an IV because I've lost so many bodily fluids.
Guest:I'm going to what?
Guest:You know what I'm doing this weekend?
Guest:What?
Guest:I'm going to a 30-year 8th grade class reunion.
Guest:Wow.
Guest:Haven't seen these people in 30 years.
Guest:An 8th grade class reunion?
Guest:Yeah.
Marc:Who the fuck does that?
Guest:Nobody.
Marc:We had a really small... How'd you find those fucking people?
Guest:Yeah, Facebook does everything.
Guest:8th grade?
Guest:8th grade.
Guest:I don't even know if I know anybody in 8th grade.
Guest:We were... Again, here's what's interesting about where I grew up.
Guest:I grew up 87th Street.
Guest:North is Chicago, city of.
Guest:87th Street South is a place called Hometown.
Guest:And it's one mile by one mile.
Guest:And I lived in this place called Hometown.
Guest:And it was built for the Korean War veterans.
Guest:They came back and there were these new boxes.
Guest:No.
Oh.
Guest:The older folks were from Korea.
Guest:My dad would have went to Vietnam had he not gone to Canada.
Guest:That part's not true.
Guest:But their duplex is 750 square feet.
Guest:So small.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Very small.
Guest:That's smaller than this place.
Guest:I have a small house.
Guest:It's small.
Guest:750 is small.
Guest:I went back to visit my old house a couple years ago and he kept insulting the owner by going, look how small.
Guest:I can't believe I grew up in this small house.
Guest:And my wife goes, he lives here.
Guest:Shut up.
Guest:oh yeah that's a good point i go look at i go this one my brother and i shared this room you couldn't even put a washer and dryer in here um so you know uh so it was a small graduating class you know i think we i think everybody is looking forward to seeing this neat little where we literally were part of the city of chicago but we may as well been out in the middle of iowa right it was like this neat weird so what are you talking like 40 people
Guest:I think there's probably about four.
Marc:Am I graduating class?
Marc:It's graduating eighth grade class.
Marc:25 people.
Marc:In eighth grade?
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You graduated from eighth grade?
Marc:Maybe 30, maybe 15 guys, 15 girls.
Marc:That's interesting.
Marc:They're going to expect you to do something, you know.
Marc:Well, that's not happening.
Marc:I disappointed my 25th high school reunion.
Marc:Well, they picked the most interesting job.
Marc:It was really horrible.
Marc:And they picked me in hopes that I would do some stand-up.
Marc:There's no fucking way.
Marc:No fucking way.
Guest:The woman came up to me, and let's talk about this.
Guest:The woman at my high school, my 20, came up to me.
Guest:Her name was Lynn.
Guest:She's a sweet lady.
Guest:She came over.
Guest:She goes, you know what?
Guest:She goes, I spent the last year putting this thing together.
Guest:I spent every day doing about this.
Guest:All I ask, could you go up and do 10 minutes?
Guest:And I went, no.
Guest:She goes, I spent a year putting this together.
Guest:I go, yeah, I can't.
Guest:And so she may still be angry with me, but you know as well as I do, that's a fucking recipe for disaster.
Guest:Those are the people that made us what we are.
Guest:Right.
Guest:They hurt us.
Guest:Yes.
Guest:And the last thing they want, now they might privately in their home go.
Marc:Those fucking football players who are still, they still have the same personality, but they were all fat.
Marc:But I had the same feeling like I'm not going to risk this.
Guest:being rejected by them again again right it took me 20 years to get over it yeah and i don't even know if i still am right so i'm gonna go up on stage hey no good to see all you people that hated me no 20 years ago i came here to prove you all wrong and to let you now judge me no fucking way i wouldn't do it either but again like i was gonna say privately they might be in their home going how cool is it that mark mirren or my is how cool it should be part of it's on tv
Guest:How cool is that?
Guest:They might privately do that, but you know damn well if you got up on that stage of that reunion, that's not the fucking vibe.
Guest:They're going to be standing there judging, angry at their own life because they chose to... Yeah, but we would have went right back to who we were then.
Guest:I fear that because of that, then you wouldn't be funny either.
Guest:Of course, that's what I mean.
Marc:Yeah, yeah, right?
Marc:You go back to that and...
Marc:Where I'd just become sort of like, you know, like that sort of like not quite complete personality guy that was just struggling to get.
Marc:Like literally when it happened, you know, I knew what they were trying to do.
Marc:And when they brought me up as the most unique job, I was just like, well, thank you.
Marc:And that was it.
Marc:And I went and sat down because it was there wasn't even like the people that were there.
Marc:Most of the people weren't there.
Marc:But the people that I hated.
Marc:They all showed up, right?
Marc:Right.
Marc:The people who would have organized something like that were the same people that would have organized something like that when you were in high school.
Marc:And they were always the popular kids.
Marc:And I knew them well enough.
Marc:But there was no fucking way I was going to risk failure for that.
Marc:I 100% agree with you.
Marc:It's interesting for the same reason.
Marc:Literally, it was like, no.
Marc:I'll leave before I do that.
Guest:I said to my wife, my wife and I at that point were married.
Guest:This was in August.
Guest:We got married in May.
Guest:We were married two months and I turned to her and I said, I will leave if they at any point try to make me do that.
Guest:I will.
Guest:You said it too.
Guest:I said, we're out of here.
Guest:I didn't come here to perform.
Guest:I kind of came there just to be a,
Guest:And the funny part about my reunion is I, this is funny.
Guest:I got there as they were taking the class photo.
Guest:We got there a little late.
Guest:And they're taking the class photo of, you know, 20 years later.
Guest:And then they put it side by side and they send it to everybody.
Guest:Hey, look how different we are.
Guest:And so as I, they go, hey, the woman, this Lynn goes, get in there.
Guest:We're about to do the class photo.
Guest:So I go running in.
Guest:And as I'm going to run in to get in the photo, I hear one girl go, he's here.
Guest:And then another girl goes, who?
Guest:She goes, Jimmy Pardo, he's here.
Guest:And the other girl goes, why does that matter?
Guest:and i heard it all so it was like how cool oh yeah you're damn right i'm here came from hollywood you assholes and then immediately why does that matter oh you're right and she's kind of right yeah you know what if we were bigger acts what what what how would we felt you know what uh
Guest:they better be kissing my ass if I'm a bigger act.
Marc:Well, that's what I mean.
Marc:It's like, I think something has to do with it is because we're still in that area where it's sort of like some of the people at that reunion, they may not have seen us on television.
Marc:Right.
Marc:You're right.
Marc:Like, you know, if we were fucking Jerry Seinfeld or somebody like that, I'm just saying that if we had that, you know, we, we are in the position with our particular level in show business, we're not entitled to having the same type of confidence that a real fucking big celebrity would have.
Guest:You still have to kind of convince them.
Guest:No, no, no.
Guest:I'm doing well.
Guest:Right.
Guest:That's right.
Guest:Hey, how's that stand-up going, Mark?
Guest:Great.
Guest:Yeah, exactly.
Marc:Because they don't know.
Marc:Great.
Marc:I'm on television.
Marc:Well, yeah, we saw you 10 years ago.
Marc:You were on the Conan.
Marc:We saw you once.
Marc:I did five or more.
Marc:Yeah, I've done more after that.
Guest:And I just did this.
Marc:No, we just saw you the one.
Marc:Yeah, so if you don't really pop through, you're still defending it.
Marc:You still have a reason to be insecure in front of those fucking people.
Guest:I've always said, and it shuts down the fringe family and the guy that sits next to you on the plane.
Guest:If you make the mistake of telling them that you're a comedian, the second you, they always go, you've been on The Tonight Show?
Guest:And if you go, no, I haven't, they go, I'll keep it up.
Guest:But the second you go, yeah, they go, oh, oh.
Guest:Like, oh, you're legit.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:You've been on Jay Leno?
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Yeah.
Oh.
Guest:Man, good for you.
Marc:Hey, great, man.
Guest:Hey, all right, you're living your dream.
Guest:But if you go, no, not yet.
Guest:Well, keep it up.
Guest:Good luck.
Guest:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest:Hey, yeah, tough business, huh, kid?
Marc:Sure.
Marc:My father today, I talked to him.
Marc:He goes, I go, we're doing our 100th podcast.
Marc:He goes, what's that, the bypass?
Marc:And I said, no, the podcast.
Marc:Oh, the broadcasting, the podcast.
Marc:I said, have you listened to any?
Marc:Hey, you know, I just am busy, and I can't, I don't, maybe you should show me how to do it.
Marc:How old have you guys your dad?
Marc:Seven.
Marc:I don't know, 78?
Marc:So let's be fair to your dad.
Marc:No, no, 68.
Marc:68, not 78.
Guest:My dad's 67.
Guest:Okay.
Guest:But let's be fair to them.
Guest:Yeah.
Guest:Boy, your dad's young.
Guest:How old are you?
Guest:46.
Guest:You look great.
Marc:Is that possible then?
Marc:46, 56?
Marc:Yeah, your dad's 21.
Marc:Your dad was 21 when he had you.
Marc:No, he wasn't.
Marc:He was 23.
Marc:So he's 70.
Guest:My dad was 23 when he had me.
Guest:But my dad doesn't listen to it either.
Guest:But I think it's a generational thing.
Guest:Did your dad own a store?
Guest:He has a computer store.
Guest:Sells iPods.
Guest:You think he'd listen?
Guest:No, he doesn't.
Guest:No.
Guest:My dad's a quality control engineer, which I couldn't tell you what that is for $1,000.
Guest:Your whole life.
Guest:He's told me.
Marc:Yeah.
Marc:You don't know.
Guest:But I don't know.
Guest:I don't.
Guest:And even, you know what, Mark?
Guest:This last time that I went, he said, you know, where I work, you know, our new offices are right down the street.
Guest:So in my head, I went, I have an excuse.
Guest:I have an excuse to finally go, bring me there.
Guest:Give me a tour and explain what you do.
Guest:Like, without going...
Guest:tell me what you do again dad so he goes yeah okay hey that's great son let's go do that so he gives me a tour of his whole thing the second i got in the car if you would have went what do they do i don't know you have no idea he explained it to me yeah showed me yeah uh it's it may as well been a dial tone i and i that's no disrespect to him i just don't really can't get it i know i can't grasp it i know but he's been doing it for you know 50 years if he's happy he's got a good pension oh he's doing great he's about to retire are we gonna be all right
Marc:I don't know about that.
Marc:All right.
Marc:Well, it was good talking to you.
Marc:Oh, it was my pleasure.
Marc:All right, buddy.
Marc:Jimmy Pardo, of course, and his podcast is never not funny.
Marc:Funny shit.
Marc:Jimmy Pardo.
Marc:Glad he was here.
Marc:Also, WTFPodShop.com.
Marc:New episode up.
Marc:Night of Many Jews.
Marc:Featuring Jeff Garland, Susie Essman, Gary Goldman, and Joe Mandy.
Marc:Go do that.
Marc:Also, you can go to wtfpod.com and get a link to justcoffee.coop or go to punchwinemagazine.com and see what's up there.
Marc:Go to standuprecords.com and maybe order a record.
Marc:Go to adamandeve.com and get some toys and free DVD and half price and free shipping on all your filthy toys.
Marc:Do that stuff.
Marc:Get on the mailing list and also send me a little money.
Marc:I'm in a little bit of panic.
Marc:I went through a lot today, as I discussed earlier.
Marc:Oh, boy.
Marc:All right.
Marc:I'm covered in sweat.
Marc:I'll talk to you later.
you