Ep. 312: “Always is How”
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Hello.
Hi, John.
Hi, Merlin.
How's it going?
How am I going?
Yeah, how are you going?
Oh, I'm fine.
How are you going?
I'm all right.
We've got a jackhammer situation.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah, we've got the train, we've got the jackhammer, we've got a lot going on here.
A lot going on.
What are they jacking?
Pavement.
They're out there.
It looks like it might be the, it's not the government.
I think it's the PG&E.
Oh, so they're just doing it in the sidewalk or in the street?
No, they're in the street.
They're in the street.
They're out there just jamming away.
Yeah.
Yeah, 10 a.m.
on a Monday.
You'd think that they would have doors in the street or something, so they wouldn't have to break up the pavement like that every time.
That's a good idea, like an access panel.
Yeah, if they just had, I mean, what do you need in there?
It's like a closet door, right?
You need a door and a hinge, probably a way to lock it.
Yeah, right.
But I mean, also, you know, you let a person know.
You know, I assume that everybody in my neighborhood is probably, if they're not doing bubble tea, they're probably podcasting.
A little heads up wouldn't hurt.
I should get a lot of information about elections on my door, but nobody's telling me anything about jackhammers.
I got to find that out for myself.
They should do one of those door hanging things where they put it on your doorknob.
Sometimes they just leave it on the ground.
Something that says FYI tomorrow at 8 a.m.
or whatever we're going to start hammering.
Sand people, John, they're just always banging on the door now.
God bless you.
Get out and vote.
It's important that you vote, but please stop knocking on my door.
I really just don't want to talk to anybody.
Go and vote, but for the love of God, don't knock on my door.
They seem a little sophisticated for sand people.
Oh, no, they're very organized.
You know, they walk in single file to disguise their numbers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There are two Banthas.
I feel like what we've been saying on this program for many years is always vote.
I'm seeing a lot of people that are like, please vote.
A lot of people are saying, please vote.
Or, you know, right now the internet is full of people encouraging you to vote.
But if you're a dedicated listener to Roderick on the line, you know you should always vote in every election, no matter how small.
This one is no more or less important than any other because...
all elections yes i i agree i am privileged my voting spot is about let's call it let's call it 160 feet from my house that is that is pretty nice i picked this spot 19 years ago and i'm not budging everything i need is right here based on uh how close the polling place was i can look at don't be creepy i can look out my window if my daughter and i want to go play basketball i can look out the window and see whether there's people on the court
That's pretty nice.
I could see if there's people in line at my hair place.
Like I've said too much.
It's important.
Can you see if there's a line at the Kentucky Fried Chicken?
No, no, no, no.
That's too much.
Too much.
No, there's no KFC here.
Gross.
Yeah.
Vote.
Vote.
Yeah, it's strange.
I don't know.
It's...
I don't know.
It's weird.
Every time.
Vote every time.
Yeah, I agree.
And like, I don't know.
But like, it's it's so strange to me.
Like, why wouldn't you vote?
And if you don't have if you don't have an opinion on everything, don't vote on everything.
Now, me, I sat down with my wife last night and she she brought over our ballot.
She said it's time.
And then I asked her who I should vote for.
Yeah, that's absolutely perfectly 100 percent acceptable.
Yeah.
Turn to someone that you like and know and trust and say, who do I vote for?
That is I do not.
I cast no aspersions on that.
Well, I think it just it just makes sense.
Like if she wants something fixed on her iPhone, she's going to ask me if I want to know who to vote for for like city assessor.
Like I'm going to ask her.
Yes.
She follows this stuff.
She cares more than I do.
She's like, oh, yeah, you definitely got to vote on C. And that works out fine.
But I never for a second question that I wouldn't vote.
That's weird.
People ask me all the time how they should vote.
How should they vote, John?
Always.
Always is how they should vote.
Always is how they should vote.
I don't sit and say, you definitely have to vote.
You definitely have to do these votes.
I just say, here's what I'm voting for.
You and you know your mileage may vary as people like to say on the internet, but you know Consulting other people about you about elections is what that's the whole thing.
Oh my god It's a beautiful thing.
I agree make it social social but also to the other point the original point like to me it's like
It would be like asking yourself, like, I was going to say brush your teeth, but I don't brush my teeth as much as I should.
But like, should I tip my waitron?
Like, that's not an issue.
You always tip your waitron.
You don't say like, oh, this is International Waiters Day.
Everybody tip their waiter today.
Pound sign, tip your waitron.
Yeah.
Oh, we do it every time.
Do it every time.
Always vote.
You know, my mom and I, we sit down, we celebrate it.
We make it social.
Yeah, we sit and we go down the ballot and we're like, what do you think about this?
And, you know, we vote very similarly, but sometimes she likes a protest vote.
I'm not Mr. Protest vote anymore.
I tend to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Protest vote.
And she's like, protest vote.
So there are a few things like jokey write ins.
She doesn't do that.
People send me pictures of their ballots all the time where they've written me in for things.
And I'm like, that's swell.
I think that's wonderful.
Definitely when the UFOs are monitoring.
Thank you for sharing that.
The UFOs are taking all that into consideration.
Every little bit helps.
Always vote.
Because, you know, eventually they're going to need an anchorman.
That's right.
Who knows how they're going to get that information?
Apparently, it's all very hackable.
You can get hacked.
So, you know, who knows?
You get hacked.
I got hacked.
I think I might have gotten hacked.
Oh, no.
Is that why your Skype was bouncing?
Oh, no.
My computer sucks because Apple asked me to upgrade the operating system.
All right.
Put a fork in it.
We got a lot of follow-up this week.
No.
I've been compelled by many people, as always, to be your electronic Sherpa and ask you questions.
Yay!
Thank you.
I love that role.
Thank you, everyone.
I came downstairs and my mechanical thermostat, my electrostatic thermostat, one that is connected to electricity and has like five buttons, it was turned up, but the house was strangely cold.
And I immediately got a
Cold chill.
Because the last times...
I've come downstairs and the thermostat's been on, but the house is cold.
One time it was that somebody broke in and left all the doors open.
The one night.
The one night you said leave it.
And then the next time was when Millennium Girlfriend left me and left the back door open to spite me.
She left through the back door and left it open.
Just like, I'm not even closing the door.
You're living in a blues song.
Yeah.
That's how blues this is.
My baby left the door open.
She wanted me to be cold in the morning.
She took my favorite suitcase out the door swinging wide.
I stood there at the back door and I was just like, I'm a girlfriend.
Nice job.
Good job.
You're really driving at home here.
Driving down to the Delta.
So you know from drafts.
So I was like, this is a bad sign.
So I walked around the house.
So I immediately, of course, grabbed a broadsword and started walking around the house like, who's here?
It was fine.
It's just that the furnace isn't responding to the thermostat.
Well, it's supposed to do that.
That's why you have the thermostat.
So last night the furnace was on.
And I monkey with the thermostat all the time.
I'm not a set it and forget it.
You like riding the fader?
Well, yeah, a little bit.
I ride the fader like the fader that we used to give to the A&R guy, right?
Oh, the one that's not hooked up to anything?
Yeah, you want a little more bass?
Here it is.
You want to work on that 5K?
Work on that 5K right on this one.
I have the automatic... I have the thermostat set to like...
like a life i imagine i i would lead that's aspirational a thermostat it's an aspirational thermostat so it's like oh well what i'm what i want to do is get up at nine so at eight the thermostat starts to come on and then i wake up to a warm and toasty world well what actually happens is i wake up at 9 50 and
10 minutes before we do our show, which means that for an hour and a half, I've been in bed like weirdly hot.
10 minutes before we're scheduled to do our show.
Right.
Well, today I had problems.
Today I had bouncing.
You got a bouncing sky bike on.
Oh, and I also had a bouncing thermostat.
That's terrible.
So you've got enough a little bit of electronics in there to say it's got a basic on-off timer based on the clock.
And then I say, like, oh, well, my shows are usually done by noon, at which point I'm going to get out.
You know, I should be, like, I should have my running stuff on and be out, like, halfway through my run, right?
So the thermostat drops down to, like, 60 at noon.
Mm-hmm.
Stays down at 60 until I get home from my supposed outside life.
Well, you got your yoga class.
Yoga.
I got to go to.
Got your healthy cooking.
That art class where I throw pots with a bunch of other moms.
And then when I come home at dinner time, the thermostat goes back on.
and then at 11 when i should be going to bed the thermostat goes back down to 60. so as you can imagine i'm riding that fader all day long because noon comes and all of a sudden it's cold and i'm not going for a run i'm sitting on the couch looking at instagram yeah so it's a you got an arrow up arrow down situation and it's not even one it's not one of these new ones that has an arrow on the button
It's like a really old thermostat.
You can't even read it.
Don't talk to me about old thermostats.
We got a thermostat from I don't even know when.
I bet there was a Kennedy serving.
It's not a circular one, is it, that you turn to the left and the right?
No, but it's a plastic dingus.
And basically at our house, you either have it all the way off or on like 90 so that it'll eventually get warm.
Is your thermostat by any chance a little bird that dips its beak in a cup of water and then bounces back up and rocks?
It would be better than what we've got.
We can't get a modern thermostat because we don't have, again, our house is ancient.
So we lack the wiring to get a modern thermostat.
We couldn't nest if we wanted to.
So do you yell into a horn down to the Oompa Loompas?
More steam!
More steam!
Nope, no Oompa Loompas.
Nope, just a bunch of old boxes, a bunch of good eggs boxes.
We've got some toilet paper boxes.
Name changing nothing.
600 cans of half-drank fizzy water from the Safeway.
I only have four on the desk right now.
I did a cleanup.
Yeah, but how many are in the basement?
Just on every single flat space.
So you're thinking you want to run.
No, no.
You're riding the fader.
I have no interest in running.
No, I'm incapable of running.
You already ran once.
I did.
I ran and lost, and I was never running again.
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No, I'm probably, Merlin, I'm probably in the worst shape of my life.
Oh, come on.
No, I think I am.
I think I'm in the worst shape of my life.
You don't think you've been doughier at other times?
But doughy versus condition, I think, are now, I used to think they were synonymous, but now I'm starting to think.
No, no, no, those are different systems.
I bet you're nearing the point I'm at where you've got structural problems.
I do.
So, you know, I've got all the different, all the load-bearing organs are really struggling to get everything in motion.
And you really notice that you have different organs and systems in your body, and they're working independently at different levels of quality.
It's not just fat anymore, although I am that too, but it's now other things.
Everything is just, I can feel the gears grinding.
I put the wrong kind of oil in or there's no oil.
Do you make a noise when you walk?
Either with your mouth or with your bones and ligatures?
Well, the noise I make with my mouth when I walk is that I'm reading all the signs out loud.
Huh.
Look at that.
Huh.
Huh.
Open till nine.
Huh.
What do you know about that?
I do that.
I do that old man thing.
I read signs.
Huh.
Oh, I also am talking to everyone.
Not that they can hear me, but I'm like, what are you, what are you, what are you doing there?
Yeah.
What's your plan?
What's your plan here?
Do you really think that you really think that that ladder is tall enough to do the thing you think you're thinking?
And this is even setting aside your interior monologue.
This is the part that's getting enunciated.
But there's others.
You've got things inside.
You've got things outside.
People are objects that are there and not.
So many things going on inside.
Inside, it's like, what if Napoleon had not arrived?
I call him Bonaparte.
You know, I do that just to drive my mom crazy.
It's my own form of protest vote.
I'm like, hey, mom, what do you think about Napoleon?
And she's like, ugh.
She's still mad about Bonaparte.
Well, of course.
Yeah, that's in our family.
I mean, I should be mad about him.
So at noon, before it shuts off, has it gotten too hot at that point?
It turned on at 9.50 and it's been running for over two hours.
Is it too hot at that point?
Well, I mean, it goes on and off on its own because it's set to a temperature.
Oh, yours does that.
It works, huh?
That's nice.
It used to.
That's nice.
Anyway, the furnace isn't on.
I don't know why.
And because I woke up at 9.50 and was already dealing with spinning beach balls by the time I thought of this,
I didn't have time to go down in the basement and troubleshoot this problem.
So the basement could be, it could have blown out the pot light or something and the basement's full of gas, although I don't smell any gas.
It could be that there is, I don't know, a ghost in the machine.
If there's a ghost in your house, when I am alone, I don't know what it could be.
Some boxes could have fallen over.
It's not like the furnace downstairs has a big switch on it that says on off.
So I don't want to have to call a furnace person.
No.
Have you ever had the furnace person come?
Give me a break.
Of course I have.
I gave up 15 years ago.
Here's the furnace person.
So free estimate.
We'll come out and we'll check out your furnace.
Free estimate.
That sounds great because I just really want to – I don't want to get my –
Right.
Pretty estimate.
Landlord involved.
So the, yeah, furnace boy comes out and he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, this is pretty old.
And I go, yeah, right.
So can you like clean out the dingus and make sure the gas is getting out and everything?
He goes, well, free estimate.
You need a new furnace.
I said, thank you.
That's what the furnace people do is they say you need a new furnace.
And I said, well, thank you very much.
And then I got a typewritten letter three weeks later that threatened to sue me if I didn't pay them $150.
Really?
That doesn't sound like a very free estimate.
It's an unconventional outer sunset idea of what free is.
Typewritten.
It was done on a typewriter.
I definitely had a guy come out to do the yearly cleaning of the furnace.
And I stood and watched him, which I think is what you're not supposed to do.
You're not supposed to do it because...
Because that's not what they want you to do.
But I stood and watched him under the guise of talking to him about his life and wanting to know about what his father did for a living when he was growing up.
And I watched him clean the furnace.
And it was not anything that any normal person could do by opening some doors and going on the dust.
So I was like, hmm, cleaning the furnace seems like a scam.
I changed the filter on the regular.
Mm-hmm.
Anyway, so that's how I started my day.
Hang on, just real quick.
You're on the, let's see, you're not on Anna Banana.
You are on the Jason Finn computer still, correct?
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Okay.
And I got Mac, cleaned my Mac X. Oh, boy.
And CleanMyMac X ran some things.
Diagnostics.
Yeah, it did.
It ran some diagnostics.
It said, I cleaned up 75 things.
Now your photos are gone.
And I was like, so what was that?
And it was like, oh, if you would like to find more, it's only $85 to upgrade to the one that tells you what it's doing.
Yeah, tread lightly with those.
Yeah.
So that, but it didn't solve anything.
Yeah.
No, that's kind of the free furnace estimate of Mac utilities.
Some of those, you kind of got to keep an eye on them.
On the plus side, I will say that now that we're past daylight savings time, daylight saving time, as people like it to be called,
uh we're now in pumpkin pie for breakfast territory oh congratulations i haven't even sent out my cards thank you yeah so uh i've had pumpkin pie for breakfast the last couple of days um you know i have ken jennings over uh once a week and in the entire time we've known each other every every time that's that's now going on eight years or something every time he's ever come to my house he has refused
all beverage and all sustenance i would be exploring that very actively with the exception of he he discovered a big huge bin of utz party mix okay yeah one time that that somebody left here after a party the thing is like five pounds he'll have a salty treat but won't have a beverage so he'll sit and eat because i was like i never touch that stuff and so he put it over by his chair
And he sits and eats a party mix.
And he'll have a glass of water, but he will not have any other, any food.
He won't have like an Arnold Palmer.
He won't.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
Did I ever tell you, we used to have a publicist in the very early days of the Long Winters who lived in New York City.
And when you would ask him a question, he would say, absolutely.
Absolutely.
hmm and it and he didn't mean to he was saying absolutely but the way he like he had a kind of hipster that feels like a very revealing tick absolutely there's a word that sounds that starts with an n that it sounds like he might have been starting with and then he lands on absolutely right like no absolutely and and that's the thing that can you help me can you pick me up at the airport for sure
And with a publicist, you're always like, hey, did the thing that you did that you charged us $25,000 for sell any records or help us in any way?
Absolutely.
So anyway, if I ever say absolutely, it harkens back to a pre-internet meme.
My daughter had a tick when she was little, when she was learning words.
And if she said no, she would say no.
But would say something like, Eleanor, you want some noodles for dinner?
And she'd go, yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
She sounded like some kind of like some kind of flouncy, fancy duchess.
Yes.
So we still use that to this day.
I might pick up on absolutely.
That's pretty good.
Absolutely.
Marlo says no in in a way that I find completely endearing.
And she and she's and she said it when she was little and she says it the same way still.
And it's not an imitation of anyone else in the family.
But she says, and I can't imitate it.
But if you ask her something, she'll say, no.
Oh, that's adorable.
It's like a pigeon cooing.
No, no.
But it doesn't sound like, it's not like anybody else says that.
And she's said it that way since she was a little kid.
That's weird.
Yeah, it's still, and I'm not doing a very good job.
It's like, no, no, no.
It's very, it's very cherishing it.
Cherish that.
She's going to hate you so much soon.
Just enjoy every bit of it.
Yeah.
I explained to her what savor meant the other day.
She was like, does it mean like save?
And I was like, yeah, save in your love, in the love room inside your house, inside your head.
Save it in the love room.
Like, oh, and then we sat and we savored because we were having pumpkin pie for breakfast.
Oh, yeah.
I was like, savor this.
Oh, hell yes.
What is savor?
I'm like, so you're doing it.
You're taking little teeny bites and chewing them for a long time.
That's savoring.
So then we savored.
We looked at each other, and we were busy savoring.
That's nice.
Treasure it.
I'm savoring that.
Look at this.
That's a party mix.
You got crunchy curls, tortilla chips, barbecue corn chips, nachos, and pretzel wheels.
It's all in there.
I don't want any of it.
It's interesting.
So he's over the other day, and I'm like.
That's a lot of ingredients on that list.
It's too much.
Yeah.
I like pumpkin pie for breakfast.
And he says, no, thanks.
And I said, once again, you refuse to,
All offers.
And you know, the thing is like Ken is a practicing Mormon.
So there are a lot of things like if I say, would you like a Coke?
I know he's going to say no.
Oh, interesting.
Okay.
There are other things that might be in play.
I don't know.
So he doesn't have coffee.
Food is a, but he doesn't have coffee, but he does drink Diet Dr. Pepper.
So, you know, he says that the, the caffeine thing is a, is a misunderstanding.
Okay.
Hmm.
But there are a lot of misunderstandings.
And I know some of them, not all of them.
But so I always just kind of put it in a category of like, well, that's something I'm not going to, you know, like the third time you offer somebody a bacon sandwich, you're like, no, I'm not just going to, I'm not going to offer them bacon anymore.
But so we do, we hang out for a few hours and then it's like two o'clock in the afternoon.
And I say,
How about that pumpkin pie?
It's not, it's not breakfast anymore.
And he's like, and you're, you feel like, you know, you're kind of testing him a little bit.
Yeah.
This is like, are you seriously going to say no to pumpkin pie twice?
And he said, there's this long, long pause and he goes, okay, yeah, I'll have a piece of pumpkin pie.
and then we had pumpkin pie for breakfast.
Is it one of those Middle Eastern things where you got asked several times?
No, what I think it is, I think I've figured it out, what I think it is is he's on one of those Adam Savage fasts where he only eats for eight hours a day.
Oh, interesting, he's on a trick diet, like you only eat molecules or something.
He's on a trick diet, and what that means is he's a late night person like I am, and I think what it means is he's signaling that he had his last meal
at midnight or at 2 a.m.
or something.
And so he can't eat until some line in the sand because he wants to keep his, you know, he can only eat between whatever, noon and 8 p.m.
or something.
Okay.
But I think, you know, like I only eat during an eight-hour window, but it's because I often don't have my first meal until 5 p.m., unless we're in pumpkin pie for breakfast month.
Mm-hmm.
Which we are.
Pumpkin pie for breakfast, two months.
It's an interesting time.
There's a classic Christmas carol I like a lot called The Week Between.
And I kind of feel like we're in that weird little bye period right now.
We haven't ramped up.
It's like, yeah, the Christmas stuff is arriving at Walgreens.
It's an affliction.
But we're between, in our case, a run of birthdays and Halloween.
My daughter's birthday is very near Halloween.
It's a heavily Halloween-related event.
We had a six-girls sleepover for her birthday.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So, I mean, you get a little break finally from that.
And now we get a little bit of downtime until Thanksgiving.
So there can be complications and projects of our own design, but the outside world and the calendar is not beating on us so hard for at least a couple weeks.
And you know what I'm going to do to that?
I'm going to savor it.
Yeah, savor that shit.
I savor not having stuff to do, John.
I savor it.
There's always so much stuff to do.
I do, too.
There's so much stuff to do.
Well, I'm going to New York in a couple of weeks.
And I'm taking Marlowe.
And I'm there for a whole week.
I'm staying at Mike Squires' house.
Dude, you can do a video?
Yeah, I'm going to do one of those videos.
Surprise me.
I can't wait.
Do you have to learn the song that day, too?
Yes.
Sweet.
Oh, Judas Priest, Judas Priest, Judas Priest.
I already know how to play that.
But I'm having Thanksgiving with the Coltons.
I'm playing the last Walt show up in Port Chester.
Like I have a whole week in New York at Thanksgiving.
Oh, wow.
Where I have things to do.
Lots of balls in the air.
It's not like one of those where you show up and you check into the hotel and then every time you leave the room, your bed is made again.
It's like I'm staying at Mike Squires' house.
I don't know what that's going to be like.
I got the baby there.
He's got good coffee.
He's got great coffee.
That's true.
Although from the time you say, can I have a cup of coffee to the time that the coffee arrives is sometimes 45 minutes because he has to pour it over some lava rocks.
He probably explains it.
He feeds it to a monkey.
The monkey goes and shits it in the jungle.
Depends what the monkey's been eating.
That's right.
I'm going to get the coffee or what?
Hey, should I go down and get a coffee while I'm waiting for this coffee?
Okay, so first of all, we will need to probably do some scheduling.
But more importantly, is it just you and your... I mean, it's none of my fucking business, but are you going to be tending to her?
Because you know the John Hodgman problem here.
Are you going to be tending to her while you're doing work things?
No, her mother also is coming.
This is good.
Okay, thank you.
There's going to be a supper cabin.
What's nice about the mother coming...
is that she has work to do in New York.
So everybody's working all the time in New York.
And that's going to be fun because it's like everything gets bounced around.
Everybody's doing a beepity bop boop boop.
Yep.
Some of this, some of that.
You'll probably bring some homework for your daughter.
She'll have homework.
Have some worksheets maybe.
Oh, yes.
We did some homework.
We did some homework last night.
Get Sunday night homework.
that sucks well you know we worked on it saturday and so it wasn't so bad uh it wasn't so bad when we got to sunday because we'd done some work on saturday and she was you there i think i lost you are you pot are you muted john
We'll be right back.
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How's it going?
Good.
Pretty good.
Was it your heat?
Was it your furnace?
What happened?
Power went off.
Power went off back on.
Yeah.
I'm not sure why.
Not sure what that's about.
You might want to look into that whole haunting thing.
Well, I feel like there are a lot of systems in a house, as we know.
It's a human body.
It is.
It is.
And because I don't have an Internet of Things, I have a house of ghosts.
Yeah.
it's easier to maintain and now now i'm starting to question i've been you know i've been here with you not maybe about 45 minutes and i'm starting to question the pumpkin pie for breakfast breakfast oh no no what happened is it firing back no i'm starting starting to feel a little bit like i didn't really eat breakfast i had way too much coffee yep and i ran around listening to some podcasts but yeah oh dear oh dear yeah it feels like a fun day
What do you look?
Oh, yeah, it's definitely a fun day.
Thank you for putting that in my head.
You're welcome.
What do you listen to podcasts in the morning?
I listen to podcasts every second I can.
And so so Marlo's mom.
Mm hmm.
Got into podcast recently.
She never used to, but now she has a commute since she moved out to the suburbs.
Okay.
So she's listening to podcast on her commute.
She says it's great.
Yes.
It's great.
You're on your commute.
It's a very good medium, John.
It's a very good medium.
I hear that.
I hear that.
I hear people like.
So she listened to a lot of podcasts.
Slow burn?
Serial?
Nope.
No, no, no.
She's not doing that.
Somehow she found, and I have no idea how one goes about finding podcasts.
Mm-hmm.
But somehow she found Dax Shepard.
Ah, yes.
And it's got his screamy face on the cover.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's the guy that plays the poopy masturbator in Idiocracy.
Yeah.
Frito Pendejo.
Yeah.
Right.
And apparently he's like.
I love that I know his face.
Apparently, he's married to Kristen Bell from The Good Place.
Oh, is that right?
See, it pays to be married.
I learn these things.
Oh, that's nice.
You know, you live longer if you're married.
I don't know about that.
If you're a guy.
She's listening to Frida Pendejo's podcast, and he interviews people.
It's like, let's get crazy with Frida Pendejo.
What's it called?
It's called, I know this.
I've seen it.
Let's get crazy with Dax Shepard?
Yeah, something like that.
But, you know, I have a little bit of this like – I guess I have a little bit of like podcaster jealousy.
Like, oh, how's your Dax Shepard?
How's your friend Dax Shepard?
I sound like Michael Schilling's dad when Michael Schilling's dad would ever read something about –
uh the police in in the new yorker he would say oh i read something about your friend sting because michael schilling liked the police oh i read something about your friend sting uh-huh of course that would be of course michael's favorite in the police would be staying would be sting right it wouldn't be the arguably greatest drummer in the history of rock and roll it would be sting well he speeds up a little bit let's be honest no it's a it's a high level form of needling he knows exactly what he's doing
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He is.
I watched the Andy Sommer movie recently.
There's a movie just about Andy Sommer?
It's interleaved of them on their weird tour a few years ago with the history of him and the police.
I would not say it's for everybody, but as a super fan, I enjoyed it.
That seems fun.
You know, I saw them at Bonnaroo.
that year i'll just say in passing um he's a real nut but steward copeland has a lot of various crazy and good interviews and performances and just talking talking talking on youtube worth exploring steward copeland on youtube he's still he's manic is a term of art he's got a lot going on and he's still swinging for the fences
yeah he what was that band he was in with like joe bon masa or what he was in some band with i'm gonna confuse this with the john paul jones band um he i don't know he had a band with like chuck prophet and and uh the master musicians of uh bukkake or whatever
In the Japanese style.
Yeah, and they drove around in a bus, and they played shows, and it was like one of those... It seemed to me at the time... This was several years ago now.
It seemed to me at the time to be one of those answering a question no one asked type of things.
Sure, he's into that, yeah.
Like maybe... He's wired his whole... It's not even a studio.
It's just a giant room in his house full of all kinds... It's pretty much what you'd imagine a rich...
ambitious musician would do which is he's got shit tons of crazy equipment and crazy percussion it's like something out of a well it's like something out of a crazy like spinal tap documentary and he's got mics everywhere so anytime the guys show up you can all you can just ah just start playing just start playing just start playing just start playing you can just hit this garbage can lid with this gamel on you'll be good yeah it's just that uh it's uh it's a white sauce no no problem not a problem yeah
I feel like that is a common mistake that musicians make.
I almost made it.
You've got to watch out for an ambitious drummer.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, boy.
Can you imagine having that on your hands?
I've had some... Well, let's see.
Have I ever had an ambitious drummer?
Sure you have.
Let me think about that.
You had a Stryver.
Who was this driver?
Michael's not in a bad way.
I'm not saying he's a tryhard, but Michael had ambitions.
Not as a drummer, though.
Oh, no, absolutely not.
No, no.
He was good.
He was good.
Michael's ambitions were to be a published author.
He's a writer boy, right?
Didn't he want to be a writer?
Yeah.
And Michael Shore's ambitions were to be a video game designer.
He's a video gamer, and he did that.
And Nabeel's ambitions were to be the president of the music business.
That's so strange.
Is he still there?
He's very good at presidenting the music business.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a lot of good bands on that label.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, important bands to my growing ups.
getting better all the time white album comes out this week white album comes out this week i heard that what is that it's actually remixed is that what giles martin got up in there again and the tracks i've heard so far pretty fucking good i've heard are they good or are they just interesting
um they sound really uh i don't know you can just hear everything better it's it's like with sergeant pepper well you know sergeant pepper had like and i want to hear about uh your your friend and her podcast but um the uh it just what's one of the ones up on spotify they've put well my guitar gently weeps they put up uh they just put up glass onion recently and um
I don't know, put on the headphones and listen, and there's just a lot of definition.
And you know, I don't know if you listened to the redone Sgt.
Pepper, but it just had so much more vigor.
I'm trying to avoid male genital analogies, but it just— Did it have big dick energy?
It had BDE.
You could hear that Hoffner, man.
They were hanging low.
But no, I'm excited.
My order arrives this week.
I'm very excited.
That's exciting.
It's exciting.
It sounds good.
Joss Martin does a good job.
You know, he was his dad's ears for a while.
Oh, that's right.
I remember that.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think he's got the right idea.
I think he's trying real hard to not change it, but to improve it.
And he doesn't want to go against.
And he got Paul's okie-dokie.
It's whatever Paul says instead of yes.
He's okie-dokie.
Riding on a boat.
but anyway that's coming I cut you off your baby mama is listening to Dax Shepard's I want to remix all the Long Winters records I'm fine with that if I had all the money in the world I would remix them all
And I would not try to make them sound the same.
I would make them sound better.
The important thing to understand, it takes a mix of, you need a mix of a walla and a string fellow.
Because here, let me explain.
Some of the record is very walla, and some is very string fellow, and they capture different aspects.
Now, for a time, you and Chris had had a falling out, but you've since reconciled.
Yes.
I wasn't going to bring it up because I thought it would make you mad.
We fell out and reconciled several times.
Do you approve of that article?
Because I really liked it.
Well, I think I read it a long, long time ago.
And then when Magnet tagged me in it, Magnet was like, hey, we're putting this article out that has you in it.
We're tagging you.
I think you might hate it, but I really like it.
It was good.
Star and retweet.
And so I just retweeted it without reading it.
He went to New York and he laid it on a mattress and it was hot.
Does it, does it, uh, does it make me sound bad?
Do I, do I talk in it or is it just Chris?
You make you sound bad.
He, um, no, no, I thought it was, um, I, you had lots of great quotes in it.
Um, and Michael's in there.
Cause this is something they interviewed me for.
This is like an oral history essentially of when I pretend to fall.
Oh, but there are other voices besides yours.
So voy contrate.
That's good.
That's good.
I think maybe this was the one that came during a period where I was just like, you know who's awful?
Me.
Oh, yeah.
Everybody was hard on you, but it was good, and it talks about just how fucking good the record is.
It's one of my favorite records.
I know you're immune to compliments at this point in your blobby life, but it's still one of my all-time favorite records, and it was nice to hear.
That's nice.
Have you ever heard the end of any of those songs?
Which ones?
Oh, you mean after the first 90 seconds?
Yeah.
Did you ever listen all the way through?
Right, right click, right click, right click.
that was putting the days to bed was the one that i skipped through not because it wasn't a great record look i'm done trying to help you i'm done complimenting you you did that to pretend to fall you absolutely i might have done that with pretend to fall you absolutely listen to the first 15 i might have i said this song sounds like haircut 100 and you didn't seem mad which made me happy
No, no, I love Haircut 100.
I still think Shapes should be in a commercial for the VW Jetta.
I feel like Shapes is definitely one I would remix.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
I think I just had the wrong vision.
What's the one I like, Washington on the One?
You're not going to redo that one, are you?
Because that's pretty perfect.
You have to re-get horns and stuff.
Eh.
No, no, no.
I wouldn't re-record it.
I would just remix it.
Remix it.
Boy, it's a pretty good... Don't change the sequence.
The sequence is perfect.
The thing about that... The thing about the song that you just... I know that song.
It's one of the early songs on there.
Scared Straight.
I don't think I would remix Scared Straight.
I think it sounds fun.
Horns are good on there.
Some other songs I would.
Okay.
I'll guess.
Hate or Hi.
You'd redo that.
Absolutely.
Absolutely would remix that.
remix it i love i love every bit of it but like now that i've appreciated for oh my god 14 years no oh yeah oh fuck me gently 14 years now that i've listened to it many times i i think it's a very very good record i i continue to say that it is one of the best sequence albums of all time which sounds like slight praise
That's a huge phrase for me.
We worked on that.
We worked on that a lot.
It would be a different record if you changed any bit of it.
It plays as two album sides.
It works so well.
Done complimenting you.
We thought that way too.
In fact, that was an era when we weren't releasing things on vinyl.
Everything was just stupid.
You meant stupid to be the beginning of side two.
Side two, that's right.
It's such a good album.
We thought that way even when the world had abandoned us.
It was like, what's the first song on side two?
Just because the world, the world is somewhere else, but we don't care.
And then when it was time to put it on vinyl, it was like, well, it's still punching you in and out.
It turned into double vinyl, though.
That's the great thing about it.
You know, the vinyl... You don't have to talk about this.
I still haven't heard about the Dax Shepard podcast.
Are you saying you want to start listening to podcasts?
Because I don't think that's what you're saying.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay, good, good, good, good, good.
What I want is that she not listened to podcasts by Dax Shepard, and I don't know why.
I don't mind.
Oh, I can recommend so many things that I think she'd like.
I feel like if I met Dax Shepard at a party, I'd be like, Dax!
All right, I can recommend some really good podcasts.
I don't just put that together in an email.
I'll give you two right now.
Uh, one unmissable one is, um, heavyweight.
Huh?
Huh?
My favorite murder.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
No, no, no, no.
Don't go that direction.
That's no, that's like, that's the yoga pants of podcasts.
No, um, uh, heavyweight with Jonathan Goldstein on Gimlet.
And, uh, I think, I honestly think slow burn, not slow burn.
Um, the new season of cereal will make you so angry.
So rad.
Why do I want to be angry?
This is the crazy thing.
Because you find out what happens in the courts in fucking Cleveland, and each episode is more upsetting than the other.
Yeah, but that's not what I'm looking for immediately.
No, it's for her, not for you.
Oh, for her.
Right, right, right, right.
I'm not going to listen to it either way.
But she likes celebrity things, huh?
You think?
I don't know.
So I've heard this from a couple of different people.
Yeah.
That one unintended consequence of there being so many two white dudes talking podcasts is that it's actually an opportunity for lady folk to hear what guys are talking about to each other.
Yeah, a lot of it's pretty samey, but there are some really good women-hosted podcasts.
One, I will highly recommend to her.
But what I'm saying is that she... Yeah, I know.
I'm trying to help, and I don't want to make anybody mad.
I don't want to get into a fight.
I know.
You're pushing in a direction.
A little political disclaimer.
I know.
I'm the one who's got to put this out and get my foe before I pick up my kid.
I know.
Max Kempner will protect you.
He'll cover you with a blanket.
Who will?
Max.
Oh.
Max does a good job of covering you with a blanket.
I wouldn't say that.
But but but what she likes about it is what she likes about the Dax Shepard podcast is that she's listening to Dax Shepard talk to people and they and according to her.
Like, I don't think she listens to this podcast.
That's fine.
No, no, that's good.
That's good.
That's very good.
Yeah.
Yeah, because we talk about stuff she doesn't want to hear about.
Yeah.
But they just talk about like dude stuff or whatever, dude feeling stuff with dudes showing their feelings.
And she's like, it's really interesting.
I get to hear like dudes talk about their feelings.
And that's not a thing that you always get to hear.
And I'm like, huh, interesting dudes and their feelings.
That's not a thing I want to hear.
Yeah.
She says, well, when girls get together, they talk about sex, and boys don't appear to talk about sex when they get together.
Nope.
I was like, not at all.
Why would you?
How weird would that be?
It's like talking about junior high or something.
No, like, hey, Merlin, how's it going?
What about sex?
I'm having so many sex.
Yeah, is it good?
Are you kidding me?
My sex is good.
What do you do?
Oh, I do all the things.
I do the front things.
You do the things, right?
I do it on the side.
I'm all up in that with the sex.
Oh, so much sex.
Sure, me too.
High five.
All the great sex.
High fives all around.
What about the bros?
You guys having more sex?
Oh, you mean down here in the man cave?
No, I'm talking about our other bros, like Scott Simpson.
You imagine like big, good sex talk with Scott.
Oh, no, no, Scott Simpson sex.
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no, no.
Banish the thought.
Ah, ah.
I don't want to think about my own sex.
I certainly don't want to think about my friends and their weird wieners.
And like, God, did he take his glasses off?
I don't want to know.
Weird wieners.
That's a topic I've never gotten into with anybody.
You never drill deep on a wiener?
No.
Like, is your wiener weird?
It's also about what your wiener does, right?
Where your wiener goes.
What's your wiener seeing?
You've seen some shit.
It's a thousand yard stare on that wiener.
Right?
What's your friends got face down in the mud?
I want to hear about whether or not your wiener's been in the shit.
oh no no save the podcast why are we doing this we've never done this before it's terrible heavyweight with jonathan goldstein is very good i'm gonna say talk about serial season three very good does she watch queer eye uh i don't think so okay i think that she likes hollywood does she watch a lot of tv does she watch much tv
I think she would if she hadn't joined a culture by which I mean having a child with me and being kind of now in my family culture, which is very – I don't even have a TV.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so she has to kind of rep –
a little bit of like, oh, I don't even... I mean, I do have a TV.
She has the biggest TV in the family by... That doesn't mean she watches it the most.
Maybe 500%.
Sure.
She does watch it the most.
Oh, interesting.
Because I don't even have one.
A little on the nose.
Oh, that's right.
You don't have a TV.
That's right.
My mom doesn't even have one, and my sister doesn't even have one.
So not only does she have the largest TV, she has the only TV.
Does she like politics?
No.
Okay.
But she does like...
But she can't watch it as much as she would like.
So what ended up happening was she said...
to me, hey, there's this episodic TV that everyone says is really good.
And I was like, hmm.
I watched four episodes of episodic TV last night.
This is how she is, too.
She should watch Homecoming on Amazon Prime.
I think she'd like it.
It's very good.
It's got the Julia Roberts.
So she picks an episodic TV, and she successfully, in most cases, convinces me it's not TV.
She's like, no, no, no, it's not TV.
It's a much it's must see TV or it's not TV.
It's HBO.
It's the golden age of TV.
All right.
So then she gets me and I sit and then then it's a thing.
Right.
Then we put the baby to bed and I'm like, well, I should get going.
I got to go home and read old National Lampoons.
And she's like, wait a minute.
There's this episodic TV that we're in the middle of.
And I'm like, oh, yeah, if I never watch that again, I'll be fine.
And she was like, no.
Geez, wow.
No, we have to watch it.
And I'm like, all right, okay, okay, okay, okay.
So then we sit down, we make a yogurt, and we sit and watch.
Make a parfait?
Yeah, we make a parfait.
Okay.
Right now, she conned me into watching Ozark with Justine Bateman.
Yeah.
And it's fine.
Yeah, it's fine.
It's no Breaking Bad, but it's fine.
Well, it's very much like Breaking Bad.
I think that's what they're going for, yeah.
But the Laura Finney... Laura Finney.
Or Laura... Laura Flinney?
Laura Flinney?
Laura Flinney, the lady from TV and movies.
Laura Linney.
Yeah, she's good.
I never liked her.
But in this show, I have discovered that I do like her.
I always loved Justine Bateman, but her brother is just fine.
And he directs it, I guess, or something.
Anyway, so I find myself consuming this material that confirms my suspicion that the golden age of TV is just fine.
Now, maybe there's a great golden, maybe there's a platinum age of TV that I'm not, that we just haven't stumbled upon because she's just trying to, she's trying to pick episodic TV that she thinks will get me to stay and watch an episode of it.
But maybe you can give me something that I can take to her and say, this is better than Ozark.
For TV?
For TV.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I also got five podcasts for her already.
I'm still working on that.
Oh, dear.
Send that to her on an email.
You have her address.
I have something, yeah.
I'm a little bit on the spot.
I would say... Breaking Bad?
Are you going to say Deadwood?
Well, I mean, you know, people who've heard me on other programs know I have a somewhat unorthodox approach with these things.
I think it's...
The thing is, I could say to you something like, oh, go watch The Sopranos.
But I'm not saying go have a multi-season commitment to something.
I'm trying to think of something that you could enjoy, if you binged it, enjoy it in a week or two.
I've seen The Sopranos.
But you take my point.
That's why one nice thing about this Platinum Age of TV, among many nice things, is that there are some very, very good shows that unwind over hopefully eight and sometimes ten episodes.
Wow.
What did you watch four episodes of last night?
I watched Homecoming on Amazon Prime Video.
It's by Sam Ismail, the guy who did Mr. Robot.
And I think it's good.
I'm six episodes in.
Each of the episodes is about half hour long.
Who is coming home in the show?
The troops.
oh and what does julia roberts have to do with it well you should watch it okay she is a person who works with a group that is trying to help mainly soldiers with ptsd um get back into their community but there's something going on and it's interesting is it like um did you watch mr robot on the tv
Yes.
Okay, if you like Mr. Robot, I think you might like this.
So it's not, there's something going on like Stranger Things where it's some... I can't say, that's a spoiler if I say.
Some kind of devil in a hole.
Devil in a hole.
Devil in a hole.
Oh, yeah.
She left the back door open and a devil in my hole.
uh julia roberts was on the busy phillips show last night i tried watching that and wanted to love it and i can't do it you like instagram so you probably like it it's a little too i watched about four minutes from my lady and i were both like hard pass escape escape escape
If you follow me on Instagram, you know, oh no, really?
Oh, that's your TV show.
Okay.
That's why it's on E. E!
I want to love her, but the show is really Instagram.
Oof.
I was at some big show sometime, a long time ago.
And I'm there and I'm standing in a dressing room and there's a bunch of people milling around.
and uh busy phillips is there yep and she used to be on freaks and geeks right freaks and geeks that's her is that her that and instagram are kind of her she's an actress person she's actress and uh and i i was standing in the doorway in the dressing room because i'm often in this situation where i'm in a backstage area that's crowded and there are a lot of people that like are uh like have television shows and they're all milling around and
Some of whose names you can remember.
And I don't want to take up a chair.
You know what I mean?
Like, I don't feel like... Like Cal from Community.
What's her name?
Hey, the one.
The one that knows architecture from L.A.
You know, what's her name?
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Yeah, she's with my friend whose name escapes me right now.
The red-headed one.
You know the one.
The other one, sure.
But I don't want to take up a chair because I don't want to presume that I'm worth a chair in those situations.
You haven't earned a chair.
No, if you're sitting there and Patton Oswalt walks in, it's like, oh, have my chair.
So I don't even want to get into that.
So I just kind of stand in closets.
I stand in doorways and stuff.
I'm ready to move is what I'm saying.
I'm ready to keep moving and get out of the way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I do not want to be blocking somebody when they're having a moment.
So I'm standing.
I'm kind of looking for a place to stand.
Busy's there.
She's talking to Padgett Brewster.
Love her.
And Adam Savage walks in.
And he says, hey, you guys, how's it going?
And the ladies turn in.
They're like, oh.
You know, your show just went off the air.
They're talking about the Mythbusters.
Mythfinders, yeah.
And he goes, yeah, yeah, you know, last episode airs tomorrow or something like that.
And they were like, oh, baby, when you lose a show, like, it hits you so much harder than you think.
And he's like, I'm just discovering.
And they're all having this conversation, like, where –
They've all lost television shows like they've all had television shows that ran for a long time.
Yeah, it might as well be people talking about almost winning an Oscar like you probably do not have a lot to add.
Yeah, or just like, oh, do you remember the first time you dropped your Oscar and broke it and had to like get a new one?
But no, but they're talking about like major life event.
Which is that you had a TV show that defined your existence for several years that made you a huge star.
And then the show is over and when you're lost and what do you do?
And these three people are commiserating about this.
And it's very, you know, and then the two ladies are trying to comfort Adam.
And I'd been hanging out with Adam quite a bit during that period.
And he was just like, it's great.
You know, the show's over and I can't wait to get on to the next thing.
And it's been, you know, it's a long time.
It's been a pain in my ass, like getting on with it.
But here he's not even registering that I'm kind of just standing in the doorway.
she's like i just don't know what to do i feel so like lost and like and then it was just it was it was a total like moment for me watching these three people have this very intense and very empathetic conversation about a universe i could not even could but you could sense that it was momentum oh geez how well how would i feel if i lost a show well i mean the other
The other thing is, there are kinds of things that you can talk about with a few people that you can't talk about with a lot of people.
About the worst thing that any of those people could do would be to piss and moan about how their life is weird now that they don't have a TV show.
Be totally unsympathetic.
It's a very special thing when you find people that you can talk to about your shared special thing that's unusual, and other people would be utterly the opposite of...
empathetic about that's a special thing it was special and the thing is there were only three people in the room and then I was just trying to find a place to be out of the way and was in the doorway of a closet or something just kind of like hope that nobody needs this closet at any time and so they have this like this like kind of beautiful moment of sharing and then Busy goes turns to go back to what she's doing and she sees me she notices me and she goes oh
john roderick and i was like and the thing is i didn't watch freaks and geeks so i only know you only saw the christmas episode i only know busy phillips because she's got an amazing name and seems like a very captivated it's a terrific name i didn't know and you know it's not a real name she was called busy by a by a babysitter or something had stuck
Although her daughter's names are Birdie and Cricket.
I read that last night.
Which are two of the great little girl names because they really are.
They really deserve those names.
I know all this because I follow her on Instagram.
I was just creeping on her on Wikipedia while we watch four minutes of the show.
But she said she looks at me.
She stands up.
And she goes, oh, my God, I love pretend to fall.
What?
That's nice, John.
Isn't that nice?
And I was, oh, I melted into the floor.
That's so nice.
And she, you know, she gave like a moment or two, like just exactly the right amount of praise and named some songs and clearly was not all the great shows in me.
And she was just like, and, you know, and I know Padgett from Thrilling Adventure Hour.
Yep, yep, yep.
So all of a sudden, I didn't feel like I necessarily belonged in the room where I was like, oh, boy, when I lost my TV show.
Am I right?
Mm-hmm.
But I definitely felt like, hello, like, yes, hello, Busy Phillips.
I am now your acolyte forever.
Nothing you do will ever be wrong in my eyes.
You're not made of stone.
I will delight in the antics of your children on Instagram.
For life eternal and I now now she has a TV show and you know, there's there are quite a few people That I and we know who are writing for it and who are helping make it.
That's nice So it's a it feels like a family affair.
It's just one little way in which I feel like I'm still
I just want to go on the record.
Now you're giving me the villain edit.
It's just not for me.
It's not for me.
No, I understand.
I'm not sure I would watch it.
Yeah.
I'm not sure I would watch the show, but I love it.
It's a mood show.
There's a certain mood about it, and it's just not for me.
She said that she had Julia Roberts on the show last night.
Yeah.
And she died.
Uh, Busy, Busy, uh, Busy died.
Oh, she died in like the Instagram way.
Like she's wrecked.
R-E-K-T.
She died.
She is, uh, she actually said- Oh, she is deceased.
She is deceased.
Okay.
All right.
I've seen that.
I know that meme.
Yeah.
As Marlo says, she has died.
Mm-hmm.
That was a coinage that she had when she was a little girl, and I still use it all the time.
I use it to her.
I'm afraid that she's going to think language is different than what it is.
She's going to visit our house, and she's going to hear so many of her words, and it's going to be so upsetting.
I told you not to say Bastic and Panettos.
We all say breakfast now.
Breakfast is the only way to say it.
Now that I'm suddenly, for some reason, into watching the Warriors, we watch Bastic Ball.
Oh, you watch Bastic Ball?
Every game.
I cannot watch Bastic Ball.
Oh, it's changed.
The game has changed.
That shot clock has changed everything.
What's the shot clock?
We got 24 seconds to make a shot.
Between every Bastic?
Yeah.
It's insane.
So you can't just stand there and dribble the ball and look around.
Everybody's defense is fucked up now.
Three-point shots.
They're just hitting 23-pointers in a game.
It's crazy.
It's so exciting.
So exciting.
I never found out.
Let's see.
So I got podcasts where we got your furnace.
Busy Phillips.
So you're watching Busy Phillips.
I'm not.
No, because you're not even on a TV.
I don't want to watch Busy Phillips because I love Busy Phillips and I do not feel like the television show is probably being made for me.
And I typically don't even watch the things that are explicitly made for me, let alone the things that aren't made for me at all.
That's reasonable.
I watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and I felt like it was made for me.
I liked it just fine, but I also feel like there are plenty of people watching it.
They don't need me to watch it.
No, it's fine.
I thought it was delightful, especially that first episode with the Can't Fix Ugly guy.
Holy shit.
God, I've watched that episode so many times.
I feel strongly about that.
I have strong feelings about that.
You know, they're still together.
Who?
Him and Abby.
Who?
The guy from the first episode, the Can't Fix Ugly guy.
The guy with lupus?
Sorry.
Sorry, I just went too far.
They went on a double date with the guy who proposed on stage.
They went on double dates.
They're still together.
All the great shows.
I love them.
I love them.
Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness, the guy from Queer Eye.
She should watch that.
She should watch Heavyweight.
Listen, listen, listen to Heavyweight.
What's he getting curious about?
He talks to people and he's a really good interviewer.
Oh, I love that.
It's not my favorite show, but I think she would really like it.
I'm picking shows here that are a good ramp into podcasts.
These are all highly produced shows.
These are not necessarily my favorite shows, but these are shows I listen to that I think she would like.
Do you think that produced shows are good?
Do any of the shows that you're doing now have productions?
Yeah, but it's not like what I'm there for.
I mean, I listen to all kinds of podcasts, including like very basically radio shows with music and stuff.
But I like the ones where people just talk to each other.
That's my favorites.
I like ones that don't have an outline.
Do the shows that you're doing now, are any of them as produced as You Look Nice Today?
and edited yeah as much i mean no no no i mean kind of no no nothing's as produced nothing is as carefully can only edit it is that probably but yeah anyways i'll send these to her she can she's listening to the waves a very good uh podcast with women on uh on uh on uh the slate is very i'm not sure she wants a podcast with women but they're really good it's got june thomas it's got june thomas she's a scottish lesbian and she's very very good
I'm not so sure, but you can send it off.
She's a design person, right?
You guys have that conversation with one another.
Design person?
Design person?
Is she a design person?
She likes typefaces.
99% Invisible.
That's a no-brainer.
She would like that.
That's a show where they talk about the Internet of Things?
Nope.
Nope.
It's Roman Mars.
He's an excellent podcast, beloved podcast about design in life, but it's storytelling.
It's a storytelling podcast.
That's enough.
Enough said.
Roman Mars has been very nice to me over the years.
He's a very nice man.
I've never met him, but he's very good on the internet to me.
Yeah, he's a nice man.
Yeah, I'd like to meet him.
Yeah, he's cool.
Do you guys hang out and stuff?
I don't talk about people whom I've met.
Oh.
Yes, when I was a guest on the Slate... That's 85% of what I do.
When I was a guest on the Slate Political Gab Fest, I met Roman backstage and he was very nice.
End of story.
Oh, okay.
You know, but there's so much good TV.
Why were you a guest on the Slate political?
Because John Dickerson is a fan of my productivity stuff and he's a very nice man.
And he invited you to be on his show.
Yes, he did a very poor job.
So when you say he's a very nice man, it's like we used to do when we would say good luck to all bands?
He is a truly kind man.
He's an intelligent man.
He's a curious man.
He's a careful man.
He always has... You can't land on a front shoe.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
He's...
i'm not saying that john dickerson is colonel kurtz kind man i'm not saying he's colonel kurtz no but you're damn right this is the end of the river uh and so what else do we john can i mention one thing i'll kind of do a teaser here
I got to wrap because I got to get my pho.
Listen, listen, here's the thing.
This isn't called a teaser.
I'm going to give you something very unsatisfying, and I'm only going to say this one time to our listeners.
We have t-shirts coming back, and we will be promoting that soon.
And all I'm prepared to tell you right now is that there is a new shirt, and it's pretty good.
Yeah, listen, it's very nice.
It's a very nice shirt.
It's a very kind shirt.
You can't land on a fraction of a shirt.
November 13th is when we'll be launching our, as usual, it'll be like about a two-week campaign to go out and you'll have a chance to order shirts, new and old.
But wouldn't you say it's a pretty good new shirt?
I would say that you should save your money.
I would say...
That it's a good shirt.
As always, we're proud of the things that we make and do.
We don't over make things.
You know what I mean when I say that, right?
Not over made.
No, no, no, no.
We don't over make them.
And, and, uh, this one is, this one's not over made.
It's not under made.
It's made.
It's made.
It's something people wanted and we made it.
I think, uh, I think it's long time coming.
Uh, no, no, no, no.
Long train ride.
And, uh, don't make me hammer the bell.
So are you going to tell her about podcasts?
Tell her about podcasts.
Heavyweight with Jonathan Goldstein.
Heavyweight with Jonathan Goldstein.
Did you ever listen to, yeah, he used to be on This American Life.
He was on, he did a show called Wiretap.
And Heavyweight is very good.
That's my favorite new podcast right now.
Heavyweight.
Okay.
I mean... It's not what it sounds like.
Well, yeah.
I'm going to tell her all about it.
I'm probably not.
It features a theme song by The Weaker Dance.
It's a very good band.
What I'm probably going to do... They're very good.
They're very kind.
uh what i'm probably gonna do in an empty room it's a very good good luck to all bands all the great podcasters i'm gonna say really everybody this is the time of year when we all kind of get together we give each other a little christian side hug good for you is what i say to everybody yeah i'm doing that thing you do i say you're a great man you're a kind man i'm a little man
You're a great man.
I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floor of Silent Seas.
That's me.
Oh, man.
We ran the gamut.
Too many gamuts.