Ep. 281: "Eight Straight"

Episode 281 • Released March 19, 2018 • Speakers not detected

Episode 281 artwork
00:00:05Hello.
00:00:06Hi, John.
00:00:08Hi, Merlin.
00:00:10How's it going?
00:00:12Oh, it's real good.
00:00:14How are you?
00:00:15Oh, are you good?
00:00:16It's getting real low key.
00:00:19It's real soft over here.
00:00:21Real soft.
00:00:22Real early.
00:00:23It's early.
00:00:24It's gentle.
00:00:29I've been trying to get, you know, I've been trying to get eight hours.
00:00:33For a while now.
00:00:35I know we've talked about it.
00:00:37No, no, no go go I'm trying to get I'll talk real quick because I want to hear about the sleep I know you've been looking at your book about sleep.
00:00:44I've been looking at it and I've been trying to get eight hours and it's been good It's been real good to just be focusing on trying to get I'm trying to get a solid eight hours because the book I've been reading says that all this thing about second sleep and
00:01:04All these other alternative theories.
00:01:07You can just throw them all out the window.
00:01:09Out the window.
00:01:10Because you're going to need to come in on Saturday and you're going to need to get eight straight hours of sleep.
00:01:20Eight straight.
00:01:21And I've been trying to do that.
00:01:22Last night I didn't get there.
00:01:25But I tell you what, just trying feels good, you know?
00:01:31There are no losers in trying to get eight hours of sleep.
00:01:35I was wondering about that.
00:01:37You don't feel... See, part of the problem with this is, like, you take anything... We've talked about anxiety recently, where, like, when I feel like...
00:01:43when I find myself doing the stuff I should be doing anyway, like taking care of myself and doing meditation and stuff like that, I only tend to return to that when I'm stressed out.
00:01:52So now I associate it with stress, but it sounds like you're not stressing about this.
00:01:56Well, no.
00:01:58And it's, it's a key.
00:01:59I mean, it's not a key, but there are some sentences in the sleep book to remind you to do that, uh, to not get stressed about not being able to go to sleep.
00:02:09But I, I, uh,
00:02:11You know, that cycle I've heard about, I've heard it talked about where you're lying in bed and you're like, I have to wake up and I'm still not asleep.
00:02:17And, you know, and you're just spiraling up, up, up.
00:02:21It's not making it better.
00:02:22And I don't do that.
00:02:25But I...
00:02:27Uh, but you know, like I don't, I walk around like down on myself all the time.
00:02:31So when you, when I come up with something that is a new thing to be down on myself about, it's, it's not like, Oh shit, I got to get to sleep.
00:02:37It's more like great job.
00:02:39Fuck face.
00:02:42Um, but I'm trying not to do that.
00:02:43I'm just lying.
00:02:44I'm just lying there.
00:02:45I'm like, and you know, the problem is obvious.
00:02:47I shouldn't go to bed at three o'clock in the morning.
00:02:49And we've, I mean, I've been talking about this since you and I met.
00:02:52It seems obvious.
00:02:52It's not always obvious.
00:02:54It's not obvious because think of all this stuff out there.
00:02:57that you can only read at 2.45 in the morning.
00:03:00That's true.
00:03:01You know, you're not going to be able to, like, be reading about the history of Welsh rarebit at 2 a.m.
00:03:08You have to wait.
00:03:09Yeah, you have markets opening around the world.
00:03:12That's right.
00:03:13Check in on your markets.
00:03:14I want to be in on the Korean markets.
00:03:16I want to see what's happening around the world.
00:03:18I want to, you know, Shanghai.
00:03:20I want to see what the market has to say.
00:03:22Mm-hmm.
00:03:23Uh, but, but, uh, but, uh, but otherwise, otherwise Merlin, you know, is he, is he a great man?
00:03:30Is he, you know, is he a kind man?
00:03:33Uh, I'm good.
00:03:36I'm good.
00:03:37You know, how's it going over there?
00:03:38It sounds like you're, you're, uh, you're typing.
00:03:40Oh, I got to type.
00:03:41I'm always doing stuff.
00:03:43I'm sorry.
00:03:43I'm sorry.
00:03:44I shouldn't do that, but I have to do that.
00:03:46I even got a quiet keyboard.
00:03:46You should hear what it would be like with my old keyboard.
00:03:49I think I was here when you had an old keyboard.
00:03:52Well, that's that keyboard.
00:03:53I just brought that keyboard up a second ago, but if I was doing what I normally do...
00:03:58Oh, yeah.
00:03:59Oh, see, that's got sound.
00:04:02I'm much more efficient.
00:04:04Didn't you used to have a compressor or something?
00:04:06This is a little bit inside baseball, but, you know, everything that's in the show is in the show.
00:04:10I try to ride this a little bit, but, you know, I try to do what they call gate, but it makes it weird, and I don't like editing things.
00:04:18No, gate is bad.
00:04:20I would continue with the sleep talk a little bit because I do think it's interesting.
00:04:27Well, so, so.
00:04:28Can I say one thing?
00:04:29Can I say one thing here?
00:04:30So you laugh.
00:04:31People laugh.
00:04:32People, people deride.
00:04:34They point, they point and they say, oh, it's so obvious.
00:04:36Stop going to bed at 3 a.m.
00:04:39You know, and I say, don't think of an elephant.
00:04:41Here's the problem is the past is prologue.
00:04:44You know, habits die hard, you know, and if you're if you're wired a certain way, doesn't matter whether it's good or bad.
00:04:51It's just how it is.
00:04:52Think about think about if you ever try to stop cursing.
00:04:55Oh, shoot.
00:04:56Dude, have I on our family friendly program?
00:05:00We hardly ever say swears.
00:05:01When my daughter was born, I tried real hard.
00:05:06I remember my mother saying how hard it was for my dad to stop cursing because apparently he was a world-class swearer.
00:05:11I never got access to that, which is a bummer.
00:05:13But you don't realize how much you swear until you try to stop swearing.
00:05:18It is hard to stop swearing.
00:05:20Well, because, you know, I don't mean to get all Si Hayakawa here, but, you know, language is the way that we express the way our brain works.
00:05:27And we do not have a way to go flick a button in our head, whether that's how you think about progressive social issues or Bitcoin or cursing.
00:05:35Like the way that you get your mind right about something takes a real long time because that's how you've mostly always done it.
00:05:41And the way you've mostly always done it is not thinking about it too much this very morning.
00:05:45I decided I'm going to clean up my office because it really, really needs it.
00:05:50And on the one hand, it's astonishingly easy just to go like, oh, God, there's so much stuff here that's garbage that I can throw out.
00:05:57On the one hand, that's very easy.
00:05:59But the reason it got to where it is is because that's where it went.
00:06:01Yes, because it isn't easy.
00:06:04No, it's not.
00:06:04I mean, what is easy or what is repeated becomes who we are.
00:06:09Anyway, I just want to say I'm sympathetic to that because I think there's a lot of stuff that seems obvious to somebody for whom that's not the easy thing.
00:06:18So, I mean, it's... But then on top of that, then, so how do you fix that?
00:06:22And the way you fix that normally is you act like you're, you know, if you're a middle-aged man, you act like you're trying to knock down a door.
00:06:26And you get all mad.
00:06:28And you yell at yourself.
00:06:29And that's exactly the wrong way to deal with sleep, is all I'm saying.
00:06:32That's not all I'm saying, but that's a component of what I'm saying.
00:06:36You know, there are a lot of things that... Little interjections that we put into our talk.
00:06:41I think in the case of swears, bad swears, that you always... If you grew up like me, and I presume like you...
00:06:48You always have a little toothpick, a little cocktail feathered toothpick that you put in every time you swear because you know you're doing something wrong.
00:07:00That's baked in to us from kids.
00:07:04So I find it...
00:07:05Not the hardest thing to do to not swear in varying company because I always feel like there's a little flag in every swear.
00:07:12A tiny one.
00:07:13Obviously, with my friends, I'm not sitting there going, goddamn fucking razor, and then putting little...
00:07:20little toothpicks in.
00:07:21But if you're King Neptune and you're in front of a mic, you're going to notice that little tassel toothpick coming your way and you're going to say, I reject you.
00:07:29Yeah, it's not a... That's not what a king does.
00:07:32Yeah, it's not like... Because I find myself... I was listening to myself talk the other day and I heard myself say the word, well, obviously... And then I would say something and then I would talk for a little while and then I'd be like, well, obviously... And I realized, oh, the word obviously has become a tick.
00:07:50I have now heard myself say it a couple of times and it's like once you start looking for Volkswagen bugs on the highway you start seeing Volkswagen bugs everywhere I'm hearing myself say obviously and like any tick as soon as you're aware of it Now it's really hard not to say obviously like I'm choking on obviously's and I don't know why the hell that's the tick things aren't obvious Always sometimes they are and now I'm like how long have I been saying obviously in that way and
00:08:19I'm trying to stick a toothpick in that.
00:08:22But like, you know, the word fuck, like every time I say it, I have to get over the hump of realizing that I'm saying a swear.
00:08:31Yeah, yeah.
00:08:31Well, I mean, I think there's probably, I think there's almost certainly a name for this kind of word.
00:08:36But there's a kind of word that we, a whole set of words that we use when we're speaking extemporaneously.
00:08:42So, I mean, you know, people like to criticize young people saying it was, you know, like that kind of stuff.
00:08:48But that's the sound of your brain processing.
00:08:50Like me right now, this sentence, such as it is, is riddled with ellipses as I try to figure out what it is that I'm trying to say.
00:08:57Well, you and I both say, I mean, we both say I mean as a pause.
00:09:02There are so many.
00:09:04Well, and there's a lot that become sort of hot.
00:09:08I think two that are hot right now and have been for a few years is look.
00:09:13And the other one, listen.
00:09:14Listen.
00:09:15They're both a version of so.
00:09:17They're both a way of like, we're going to pause this, and now I'm going to reframe this in the way.
00:09:21But I don't think people realize necessarily, once they start going down the look and listen hole, I don't think they know how much they're using it.
00:09:28Listen.
00:09:28Listen.
00:09:30Obviously.
00:09:32Obviously.
00:09:33When I do shows, live shows, where it's storytellers, because I do quite a few of these types of things with people in Portland and sometimes in San Francisco even,
00:09:44I'm in a little storyteller group where we get up and tell stories.
00:09:48And early on, I realized someone in the group pointed out nine out of 10 or 99 out of 100 storytellers will get up and start their story by saying so.
00:10:05And then they'll start telling the story.
00:10:07And this person was saying to me, just don't say so.
00:10:10Whatever you do, don't start your story with so.
00:10:13And I got up and I was like, so.
00:10:15And you do that little like, so.
00:10:19And it's the hardest thing to break when you're trying to... It's sort of like people on podcasts all say, Hey, guys.
00:10:28Or like YouTube.
00:10:29Hey, guys.
00:10:29Hey, guys.
00:10:30Who are these titular guys?
00:10:32Who are you talking to?
00:10:33Hey, guys.
00:10:34That's a weird tick of YouTube.
00:10:36Those both have... The problem with So, and I've covered this so much in the past, but I think the one problem with So is that people...
00:10:43maybe even unintentionally, uh, use that as a way to not answer the question that somebody asked.
00:10:48I think it is definitely a tactic and it's a way to reframe what's about to be said.
00:10:52I think when you get so, or Hey guys and stuff like that, a lot of that is to place what's happening now in this moment in the moment.
00:11:01Do you know what I mean?
00:11:03If you're telling, it's just you and me guys.
00:11:06Hey guys.
00:11:07The thing about sleep bro book is
00:11:10is that he says a couple of things.
00:11:18That your circadian rhythm, are you ready for this?
00:11:23Your circadian rhythm is what it is.
00:11:28And your whole life people are telling you that you've got to, that it's a habit.
00:11:34That you have to get on a good one of.
00:11:41And you're doing it wrong.
00:11:44But he says, we've taken people, we put them down.
00:11:47Really, though, I mean, along the lines of, you've been eating too much junk food, so now make a mindful attempt to buy and consume more fresh fruits and vegetables.
00:11:58There's a way to improve this situation by having a behavioral and slightly cognitive change, right?
00:12:06Is that the implication of Sleep Bro?
00:12:08I'm sorry, that's what Sleep Lit Bro is responding to, is people saying, well, just go to bed earlier, you dingus.
00:12:14Yeah, right, and the implication is that there's a moral assessment of you, you know, that people that get up in the morning early are good, and people that sleep late and too much are bad, and people that are up in the middle of the night have problems, and...
00:12:33And there's a platonic ideal, which is that you wake up with the sun and you're productive all day and little trumpet sound every time you walk into a room.
00:12:47And then at night, after a satisfying lovemaking with your significant other, you turn over, you lay down on your pillow and immediately are asleep and sleep soundly for eight hours and wake up without an alarm.
00:13:02Anything else feels like moral turpitude.
00:13:06And he's saying, first of all, that this thing that we all feel, which is that our internal clocks are not on a 24-hour schedule.
00:13:14but on one that is slightly longer than 24 hours.
00:13:19But you've been advocating all along.
00:13:22I've been saying for years that I'm on a 26-hour or 27-hour schedule.
00:13:26You get so much done.
00:13:27He says, it's absolutely true.
00:13:30You know, we're always pushing, pushing against the edge of 24 hours.
00:13:37And a lot of people, he says, their internal clock is 15 to 20 minutes longer than 24 hours.
00:13:45Forever.
00:13:46Just forever.
00:13:47And so you're always like...
00:13:49trying to Get off, you know, it's not linked necessarily to the Sun or at all He says he takes people and he puts them down in mine shafts from two months and he says no matter what their exposure to the Sun is
00:14:05Their circadian rhythm is the same.
00:14:09And it's just what it is.
00:14:11That's what Dick Cheney has to look forward to.
00:14:13Well, Dick Cheney's going to be very confused.
00:14:17His son is going to come up and come down at extremely irregular times.
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00:16:22You don't hear much about him anymore.
00:16:24You're going to be allowed for a while and then nothing.
00:16:27He was way up on the rogues gallery, and now it's like, where do you fit him in?
00:16:32Uh-huh.
00:16:32Uh, so he, so, uh, so sleep dude bro says that, um, but he says that, and I've been saying this too for years and, and it always made sense to me because I, because I frame things this way.
00:16:47And so it was, it just seems like no dir, but it's, it's nice to have it validated.
00:16:53He said, you know, from a tribal standpoint, uh,
00:16:59If you've got a family group, a large family group, and everybody is going to sleep and you want to get the best sleep possible, you want to go all the way out.
00:17:10You want everybody to be completely conked out.
00:17:14And one of the characteristics of REM sleep is that it paralyzes your body, making you a very, very bad sleep.
00:17:28at that point in time.
00:17:30If you're paralyzed, it's hard to hunt.
00:17:32Just easy prey.
00:17:33But you're very easy prey.
00:17:35And he said it makes sense that there would be some derivation of the population that stayed up
00:17:43and was naturally wakeful, not like forcing themselves to stay up to be on watch, but naturally awake during the night.
00:17:53So that for them, it felt like the right thing to do, sit around the fire while everyone else in the tribe is asleep.
00:18:00And then when the first early risers start getting up, you know, that person's like, oh no, I'm really tired.
00:18:06And he's saying like, it's just, it's baked in that a certain smaller proportion of people
00:18:14are just there naturally up at night as watchmen.
00:18:18Which is what I always feel like.
00:18:20That's what I feel like in the middle of the night when I'm walking around.
00:18:22There's no one else in my neighborhood that's going to put on a bathrobe and go walk around in the night.
00:18:27Somebody's got to scan the perimeter.
00:18:31And it just feels very natural.
00:18:33If you're out there dreaming about blue turtles, you're not going to be checking your six.
00:18:37Exactly.
00:18:39While I'm watching, y'all are paralyzed.
00:18:42Literally paralyzed.
00:18:43I'm watching over a culture of people who cannot move.
00:18:49So that's interesting.
00:18:50I mean, everybody should read the book.
00:18:53Well, not everybody, because when people tell me that, I'm like... But in this case, I am reading it.
00:18:59Because my mom, who just walked in the room, she's very quiet.
00:19:02She just walked in the room to get a key off of my key ring.
00:19:06And she moves like the wind.
00:19:09She got a key.
00:19:10No one's the wiser.
00:19:11I can't hear anything.
00:19:12Yeah, didn't even make as much noise as keyboard tacky.
00:19:17I remember hearing a while back.
00:19:18Oh, sorry.
00:19:19Go ahead.
00:19:19No, no, no.
00:19:19You were about to say.
00:19:20I just remember hearing a while back.
00:19:21I feel like I first became interested in sleep stuff when a friend of mine got interested in sleep stuff.
00:19:28And one of the things he told me, he's the first guy I ever knew that had a sleep tracker, like a wristwatch that would track your sleep.
00:19:34And he told me something that...
00:19:38I mean, like some of the things involving sleep, a lot of people immediately close the door.
00:19:42Because as soon as you hear anything that's involved in trying to figure out sleep, the portcullis comes down.
00:19:48You know, we're closed.
00:19:51Because I can't.
00:19:52I have the stuff to do.
00:19:54But he said that in the scholarship he had done, one of the first things you do is try to figure out how much sleep you really need.
00:19:59Not so much exactly what your circadian rhythm is, but for a period of something like two weeks, the idea is...
00:20:05That you try to be as consistent as possible in avoiding things like stimulants, which again, obviously, pork call is down, that's difficult.
00:20:13Avoiding stimulants and sedatives, but making yourself go to sleep.
00:20:19Really, actually, like saying, we're going to bed at nine, and then you sleep as long as you sleep.
00:20:24And you wake up.
00:20:25And then you do it again, and you do it again, and you do it again.
00:20:27And if you can somehow do that, this seemingly un-American, inhuman thing of not doing stuff to make you be more sleepy or more awake, you will eventually discover the plus or minus various environmental factors.
00:20:38There's a certain amount of sleep that your body wants over a certain amount of time.
00:20:41And that's the only, you know, and again, this is the kind of stuff that doesn't end up happening until you're almost dead.
00:20:47You get the sleep apnea and you're going to some kind of like a clinic.
00:20:49But that's the idea is that like you may not know how much sleep you need for how long and when.
00:20:54Some people really benefit from a half hour nap and other people don't.
00:20:57Some people it's like the end of the world, the idea of taking a nap.
00:21:00The idea being that you discover like, no, I really do need like six and a half hours of sleep and over eight hours I don't need.
00:21:06But that requires all of this stuff that has all these asterisks on it that would be so difficult for anybody to do.
00:21:13So you just walk around all the time basically going, well, all I know is I'm not getting enough sleep, which is not really much to go on.
00:21:19Well, and what Dude Bro here is saying is that a lot of these things that we, because I hate to keep calling him Dude Bro.
00:21:27That's fine.
00:21:27He's got a real name.
00:21:29But he's a guy.
00:21:31His name's Matt.
00:21:31Let's call him Matt.
00:21:32Let's call him Matt.
00:21:33Matt is a good name.
00:21:34It's a good name for a skateboarder.
00:21:37I've known some Matts in my day.
00:21:39Not all of them skateboarders.
00:21:40One of them used to draw really good Frankenstein.
00:21:43There was a time when we really appreciated that in a person.
00:21:46Oh, if you could draw a good Frankenstein?
00:21:48Or a Van Halen logo?
00:21:49There's certain kinds of skills you just don't see anymore.
00:21:52The Van Halen logo is very much like an eighth grade skill.
00:21:55I think Frankenstein is like a second to third grade skill.
00:21:58Yeah, right, right, right.
00:21:58Would you agree?
00:21:59Would you agree?
00:21:59If you're in like eighth grade and you're drawing Frankenstein's...
00:22:02Well, back then, yes.
00:22:03Today, these kids don't know from Frankenstein.
00:22:05They're not even aware of the pantheon.
00:22:07I haven't even bothered to show my daughter young Frankenstein because she wouldn't get that it's a send-up of universal monster movies.
00:22:15That's a different topic.
00:22:17There's so many monsters stacked up before Frankenstein.
00:22:20She doesn't really understand what a Dracula is.
00:22:22It's really upsetting.
00:22:25You're right.
00:22:25No, I think I think of as being also spaceships guns and race dinosaurs dinosaurs spaceships guns Yeah, yeah for sure.
00:22:36Yeah, thanks army.
00:22:38So Matt could draw Frankenstein So we're gonna call the author of this book Matt Matt the sleep bro Matt the sleep bro says that this whole thing about like oh I only need five hours of sleep You know when you get older you need less sleep.
00:22:50He says none of that is really true and
00:22:52Everybody needs sleep their whole lives.
00:22:55And what we end up doing is we don't get enough sleep for a variety of reasons.
00:23:00And as you get older, it's harder to stay asleep because there are tons of additional pressures, not just on you as a thinking person, but...
00:23:11you got to get up to go to the bathroom more.
00:23:14Or like, I mean, like one that sounds really obvious, but like when you first have a kid, um, it's difficult to sleep because the kid's sleep schedule is so weird, but it's also that you're so vigilant.
00:23:25Like, you know, you crib death, not a thing you want.
00:23:27Like you're always like kind of scanning, listening for the air for like what's, what's going on.
00:23:31But then also you worry more.
00:23:32I think you worry more after you have a kid.
00:23:34There's a whole constellation of things that ruin your life.
00:23:37Oh, and I think another thing that Matt Bro says is that over the course of your life, your circadian pattern moves within the elliptical of life.
00:23:52The shape of the day.
00:23:53That's right.
00:23:53It moves in the shape of the day.
00:23:55But what's very interesting and what's helping me quite a bit
00:23:59is that he talks about REM sleep, which we're all very familiar with.
00:24:03And then he talks about NREM sleep, which is the other sleep.
00:24:08I don't have that on my tracker.
00:24:11NREM sleep is the deep sleep.
00:24:14Yes, yes, yes.
00:24:15You don't actually do your dreaming and your REMing in your deepest sleep.
00:24:21Mm-mm.
00:24:21Your deep sleep is where your... REM sleep is above light sleep.
00:24:26It's way up there.
00:24:26It's lighter than light.
00:24:28REM sleep is where you're paralyzed.
00:24:30So it feels like that must be like your sleep trackers are registering that as a lack of movement.
00:24:36And so on your sleep tracker, it seems like that's the deep space where you're not moving.
00:24:42But in fact, your deepest sleep is where your brainwaves become very slow moving.
00:24:50And if you look at the brainwaves of a REM sleeper, the brainwaves are, at least on paper, indistinguishably fast from wakefulness.
00:24:59Your brain is just going...
00:25:02Because in REM sleep, as far as your brain is concerned, it's awake.
00:25:05It's like full on hallucinating and living its life.
00:25:10But in REM sleep, your brain waves slow way down.
00:25:16So they're just like, whoa.
00:25:19They're just like some EDM base synths.
00:25:26And it's not that you're paralyzed.
00:25:29It's your body is, you know, like can do its little things flop around, but your brain is like somewhere else.
00:25:38And he says that the combination of the two and REM sleep and REM sleep, they're doing very different things inside your head and you need them both.
00:25:49And at certain times of your life and after certain events, you'll need way more NREM sleep because your brain is like moving stuff around.
00:26:00Mm-hmm, taking out the garbage.
00:26:01Yeah, it doesn't need to like replay the conversation you had over and over.
00:26:07It needs to like move big boxes around.
00:26:10I've heard it said that, I mean, I don't know which stage this is in exactly, but that a lot of what happens in healthy sleep is that
00:26:18there's a component of sort of organization and sense-making that's going on and that you have to be kind of knocked out for that to happen?
00:26:26Well, so packets, right?
00:26:29Packets are moving around.
00:26:30But like in REM sleep, I think what they're saying is that you're taking what happened recently and moving it out of short-term memory into long-term storage.
00:26:39And in NREM sleep, you're actually doing like
00:26:43serious body maintenance.
00:26:46Deep sleep is when you do more of the physical stuff, I think.
00:26:49You cleanse stuff out and you solidify big portions of like, not just your brain, but your heart and your butt and all kinds of things.
00:27:00And that you get that deep sleep early in the night.
00:27:04And then the REM sleep comes later.
00:27:07So that if you only get five hours of sleep, you're getting some NREM stuff, but you're not getting REM stuff.
00:27:15And over time, your memory will be depleted.
00:27:20So I mean, to summarize in some ways, you can't get to the REM sleep until you've gotten through the other parts.
00:27:26If you need REM sleep, your body will find a way to get it, but it's not free.
00:27:32You're not going to get it in a 90-minute nap.
00:27:35Although you do.
00:27:37Do you?
00:27:38You're not going to get it if you only sleep 90 minutes in a day.
00:27:42But, like, he says that the body also needs a nap in the afternoon.
00:27:46Oh, this body needs a nap, buddy.
00:27:48Right?
00:27:48And that your Mediterranean-style siesta cultures...
00:27:53uh have dramatically less incident of heart disease and it's not just because they're living on olives and and hummus it's because of it's because of their uh you know this the restorative benefits of sleep this is what matt bro is saying like i don't don't understand you're just you're the messenger yeah don't at me about it
00:28:13Anyway, so when I lay down at night now, I'm thinking, okay, I've got a little sketch of the journey.
00:28:20I'm going to lay down and go to sleep, and I'm going immediately 20,000 leagues under the seat.
00:28:26We're going to go super deep.
00:28:28I'm going to get all this deep sleep that I need.
00:28:30It's going to take the blue meanies out, and it's going to bring warm fuzzies in.
00:28:36It's going to take out the garbage.
00:28:37It's going to take out the compost, the recycling.
00:28:42And then...
00:28:43That period toward the end of the night when I feel like I'm having some intense dream and then I wake up and I kind of flop around and then I go back into some dream and then I wake up and I flop around.
00:28:54A lot of the time when I wake up in the morning, I feel like the memory of that, the recent memory of that must have characterized my whole night.
00:29:05So I say, ah, God, I really was sleeping fitfully.
00:29:09Because I was having these dreams and then I was like conscious again and I'm not getting that deep REM sleep that I need so much.
00:29:20But I'm realizing now that, no, that's what happens at the end of the night.
00:29:24Like I'm getting REM sleep because I'm having these fantastical dreams.
00:29:29And then I'm kind of like waking up from them and rolling over and going back into them.
00:29:35You can get into REM sleep pretty fast and get out pretty fast.
00:29:39And that's not characterizing my whole night.
00:29:41There are periods, long periods where I was some elsewhere with no conscious recollection because the brain switches into some sort of like, you know, cleaning the oven like mode, the deep cycle.
00:30:02And that's helping me because when I wake up in the morning, I can look at the like,
00:30:06crazy little bursts of dreams that I'd been having toward the end of the morning, toward the end of sleeping, and feel like, oh, that was also, it was what it was supposed to be doing.
00:30:18It's like, that's separate from deep sleep.
00:30:21Whatever's in the sleep is in the sleep.
00:30:23That's right.
00:30:25So that is beneficial, and it's making me, I think I don't resist sleep as much.
00:30:32At night because I feel like I understand the I understand the little journey a little bit better or at least I think I do
00:30:42And so I'm not laying down to sleep with the idea of like, okay, let's go into dreamland.
00:30:48You know, let's go into, um, you said, you said an unnecessarily high bar for yourself if you're, if you're doing that, right?
00:30:55Well, yeah.
00:30:56And you're like, and I think for me, there's a little bit of, I don't want to meet Donald Pleasance on a train in a post apocalyptic environment where like snake man is going to get me, um,
00:31:08I want to just, like, I don't want to do that.
00:31:11I don't want to be paralyzed.
00:31:13I don't want to be, because I'm not somebody that suffers from nightmares, and I know people who do, and I feel the burden of nightmares.
00:31:23I had a friend that complained about nightmares.
00:31:26She had them her whole life, and you just feel this, like, it's like someone with chronic back pain.
00:31:31You just feel agony for them.
00:31:34I don't have those.
00:31:35But I don't want to be out of control.
00:31:37I don't like the day to be over.
00:31:39It all feels like death.
00:31:45But, yeah, it's helpful to have a little bit, I guess, a little bit more of a clear picture of what my expectation of sleep should be.
00:31:55Mm-hmm.
00:31:55I think that's really sound.
00:32:00And I'm thinking about, I mean, for example, like, the only way that I know that I snore is because my family tells me that I snore.
00:32:08Because if I'm in a state where I'm snoring, guess what?
00:32:11I'm asleep.
00:32:12I'm not aware.
00:32:13Sometimes I catch a little...
00:32:14Yeah, I do that too.
00:32:16But I'm not aware of that because all I know about my sleep that makes me nervous about my sleep is what I think about it when I'm awake.
00:32:24And so, which sounds obvious, which it is, but like what I bring to that in terms of the emotional valence of those feelings then does have a very real effect on the sleep because I feel like I'm doing it wrong.
00:32:35Like if I'm awake, I'm doing sleep wrong.
00:32:37It takes a rethinking, a purposeful, rehearsed, repetitive rethinking of your whole sleep mojo to get okay with that.
00:32:47If I'm feeling crazy super stressed out and I have had too much coffee, well, I'm kind of screwed.
00:32:53I guess it was last week or so when we talked about somebody dosing you, giving you LSD without your knowledge, which I think is a super interesting, horrible thing I wouldn't want to happen.
00:33:04But if you know what's happening to you, you can go, oh, it's that thing.
00:33:09This does get into the mindfulness thing a little bit, because you can look at it and go, oh, this is that thing that's happening right now, rather than, oh, my God, what is happening to me?
00:33:16All I know is that this is wrong.
00:33:18This is what's going to make it so destabilizing for Dick Cheney.
00:33:23He's not going to really have an opportunity.
00:33:25He won't have clocks at work, for one thing, right?
00:33:27Well, right, and he won't have ever had LSD, chances are.
00:33:32So when he first starts coming on, it's going to be like, okay, what's going on?
00:33:37You know, like, that's weird.
00:33:37I just think he's having a heart attack.
00:33:39Or something, right?
00:33:41And then, because that's the thing, it's going to be microdosing it first.
00:33:44It's all going to be in his water.
00:33:46He needs that.
00:33:47He needs that water.
00:33:48And he's just like, wow, I'm just really feeling, I'm thinking with clarity today.
00:33:52You know, because it's a good feeling.
00:33:55Lesergic acid is like very...
00:33:59It's not basic.
00:34:03Lisurgic acid is not basic.
00:34:05Listen.
00:34:08Okay, so here's the thing about acid.
00:34:12But then as the concentration increases, as he's tripping more and more, his only baseline is going to be that he was feeling pretty good for the last however long, maybe a month, maybe a year.
00:34:24Those storm clouds have passed.
00:34:26Yeah, but now all of a sudden it's like, whoa, my fingernails really can taste colors.
00:34:32What am I supposed to do with this information?
00:34:34How much do you reckon?
00:34:36I don't know if he's going to be the one you start on.
00:34:38I imagine you'll have some practice administrators you've worked on to kind of get a feel, like prototyping the whole facility.
00:34:45Lawrence Eagleburger is going to be the test case.
00:34:50Lawrence Eagleburger was the deputy secretary of state.
00:34:55For much of this period, he's one of the architects of the neoconservative political movement.
00:35:02So without saying too much, if you're new to this conversation, the notion is that somebody at some point in the future may decide that it's time for a little bit of extrajudicial comeuppance.
00:35:15And one could, hypothetically, like something you'd read in Reader's Digest as a kid, you could have an underground facility where people who deserve comeuppance find themselves in basically like a shipping container under a desert for the sake of argument.
00:35:31If you were to buy a bunch of surplus shipping containers, and they are cheaply had.
00:35:38There's probably shipping containers that are not suitable to put on a Maersk ship that are still perfectly good as a small apartment for Dick Cheney.
00:35:46Yes, right.
00:35:47And you could arrange them in the desert.
00:35:49You could even take a backhoe and bury them in the sand.
00:35:52Connected to one another.
00:35:56You could build an underground city.
00:35:57You could, within those shipping containers, build small apartments that looked like apartments that didn't look like shipping containers.
00:36:03Yeah, there's nothing to say that you couldn't, as an aftermarket addition to the shipping containers, make it easy to do things like change the height and width of the rooms to allow various opportunities.
00:36:14items in the room until you moved around remotely.
00:36:17Maybe somebody like a Dick Cheney happens to catch a scant two minutes of sleep, and during that time, the lights move around.
00:36:26Maybe his medicine moves a little bit left or right.
00:36:28Just a little bit of what some people would call gaslighting.
00:36:31I'll go you one further.
00:36:32It doesn't have to be Dick Cheney.
00:36:34We're not talking about anybody in particular here.
00:36:35No, no, no.
00:36:36Dick Taney's just a stand-in.
00:36:38He's a Raggedy Ann doll.
00:36:41Yeah, right.
00:36:44But, you know, the U.S.
00:36:45Army has been building facilities around the world in shipping containers for a long time.
00:36:52So when I was recently at the naval base in Djibouti in Africa, the barracks...
00:36:59are all shipping containers stacked on top of one another.
00:37:03Climate controlled?
00:37:04Climate controlled.
00:37:06And you can have shipping containers that... Well, some of them are.
00:37:09Some of them are not.
00:37:10In Djibouti, it's very hot.
00:37:13But the Army has never... The Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines...
00:37:18They've never really like stood on ceremony in terms of putting their soldiers in really hot places, like unforgiving places without air conditioning.
00:37:27I think the Air Force generally air conditions things because they're soft.
00:37:31But these particular shipping containers in Djibouti were air conditioned.
00:37:37And there are some that have like eight containers.
00:37:39beds in them and some that have four beds in them and some, I think, that are just like the general's pad.
00:37:45I stayed in one.
00:37:46Oh, like so rank is reflected in how subdivided they are.
00:37:51Right.
00:37:52But you could, and I think the army in the parlance surpluses those, which is to say sells them for surplus.
00:38:03So a lot of the heavy lifting is already done.
00:38:05Right.
00:38:05You just buy them pre-made and
00:38:08But what you need to do is figure out a way that you can make them so that the walls are never 100% square and change over time.
00:38:19But I think that that's doable.
00:38:21Like a lot of us that build rock studios, you build an apartment inside an apartment.
00:38:25Mm-hmm.
00:38:26Because it's very key to me that he never be able to fully have a sense that things are plumb.
00:38:34Oh, that's so important.
00:38:36It's important that it becomes a little bit like 1984, the novel, where, you know, there's things that you depend on, you suddenly discover you can't depend on them.
00:38:43It becomes a very, very Stalin-esque experience.
00:38:46One question, though.
00:38:47So it sounds like in terms of, not that you're going to do this, but if you were going to do this, it sounds like the materiel is available, right?
00:38:54For someone to construct something like this.
00:38:58How much would he know or understand about where he is, why he's there, how he got there?
00:39:06Is it something where he tucks in for a nap and then he wakes up and the walls are moving?
00:39:11He doesn't know how long it's been?
00:39:12I think it's key.
00:39:14You know, people need socialization.
00:39:17And you can't just socialize with the television, although... But you know what I'm saying?
00:39:21So he's living his life somewhere now.
00:39:24Right, he is, yes.
00:39:24And then one day he's in... What happens in between?
00:39:26Is there a tribunal?
00:39:27There's a lot, there are a lot of different theories about this.
00:39:31You know, there's a lot, a lot of books have been written about what to do if you're taking someone from their normal life and putting them in a shipping container that's buried in the desert and trying to, you know, trying to really do a kind of long form psyops.
00:39:48I don't know if you read, uh, during the, uh, during the recent sort of, uh,
00:39:54Our show is evergreen, so we don't like to talk about current events, particularly now because current events only last for a couple of hours.
00:40:08Yeah, from morning.
00:40:10But recently, a CIA director in the American...
00:40:16political scene was elevated to a new job because a person that was holding that job lost the job.
00:40:25And then there was a CIA under person who was being proposed as the new director of CIA.
00:40:34That's right.
00:40:35A woman named Gina Haspel.
00:40:37Haspel.
00:40:39And seems like a very nice lady.
00:40:43But there was some talk.
00:40:44She had relationships with the people that were in her charge.
00:40:47She would talk to them sometimes.
00:40:49Oh, sure.
00:40:50But also she ran one of the CIA's black sites in Southeast Asia.
00:40:58Did that definitely happen?
00:41:00Because I saw some kerfuffle that required corrections on that.
00:41:03Did she for sure run that facility?
00:41:06Well, that's a good question, and it depends on whether or not— I don't know if it was a question of did she run a black ops site in Thailand versus was she directly involved with waterboarding that one guy three times a day?
00:41:16Did we ever get a distinction on what we know to be true?
00:41:19You know, unfortunately for me, I am just as dependent as everyone else on the, like, shitstorm archipelago of BuzzFeed—
00:41:30ProPublica and the Daily Beast.
00:41:35And I don't seek those sources out.
00:41:38And I know by the time it gets to NPR, people have probably put their thinking caps on it.
00:41:48I do not believe that if she was the supervisor of the site that she supervised all the waterboarding.
00:41:56I think that's probably – That's a big portfolio.
00:42:00I think if you're supervising a site, you probably aren't standing there with the gallon jug holding it over a person.
00:42:07But you fill out the forms that allows all that to happen.
00:42:12But I do feel like there are different levels of moral culpability when it comes to torturing people.
00:42:18And if you're supervising a site whose primary or sole purpose is to interrogate people.
00:42:26Enhanced interrogation.
00:42:28It's a little bit different than if you work at the CIA and your job is to make sure the vending machines are full of Choco Tacos.
00:42:35Mm-hmm.
00:42:36And I'm not saying that they have Choco Tacos in the vending machines at CIA.
00:42:41There's not even a way for us to know at this point.
00:42:45That's all still under lock and key.
00:42:47But reading the descriptions of the explicit descriptions of the torture sessions within the internal communication between CIA people where the operatives on the ground are sending people
00:43:05reports back saying this is sickening us people want to leave the cia but it started it started even more professional than that which was this guy's got nothing we're not gonna get anything from this guy and then that turns into look guys this is this is very upsetting and if you and if you look at the dates of those it happens really fast it's like okay we've tortured this guy a few times he's got nothing
00:43:29And they're like, well, keep torturing him.
00:43:31Well, okay, we did that again and still nothing.
00:43:33And this guy's really, we're convinced.
00:43:35He's vomiting and bubbling a lot.
00:43:38And within a couple of days, the people on the ground are like, look, we're telling you here, we don't feel this is even legal.
00:43:47Did you read that one where the lawyers back up the chain were like, we'd prefer that you not use the word legal or discuss the legality of this stuff.
00:43:55That just gives us problems later.
00:43:57Right.
00:43:58But then they tortured him for like two more weeks or something.
00:44:02And you really got something like 80 times in a month.
00:44:06And you really got the sense in the way they were writing it that they had admiration for the man, like that they had begun to like him.
00:44:14Like, look, he's completely compliant.
00:44:16He is completely.
00:44:17We are like on this guy's side now.
00:44:20Please do not make us do this anymore.
00:44:22Imagine you get to the point where the guy's like, OK, time for me to get on the board, I guess.
00:44:26And he just like, he like lopes over there, dead eyed and lays down and is like, fill my mouth with water again.
00:44:32Oh my God.
00:44:34But so, uh, so you get, you get a sense that we've been here before.
00:44:39Um, I don't.
00:44:42In the case of my own underground black ops torture site, I do not want your notional, your notional underground detention reeducation facility.
00:44:53Right there.
00:44:54There does need to be some sort of introduction.
00:44:58I mean, not necessarily.
00:44:59Right.
00:44:59Cheney could go to sleep today in what I assume is the expansive palatial guest quarters of some Texas donors, extremely large ranch-style compound where Cheney is staying as an honored guest.
00:45:19I imagine a little bit of a Baron Harkonnen situation.
00:45:21I imagine he pulls the plug out of a kid and sucks his butt a little bit, gets some unwind time, watches a little bit of Fox and goes to sleep in his coffin.
00:45:27You know, the way that Trump used to do where he would get on an airplane and they would fly for some like pedophilia sex tourism somewhere.
00:45:36And then, you know, and then, yeah, that right.
00:45:38They'd eat the brains of some of some rare monkeys for lunch.
00:45:43And so for Cheney to wake up in a very small apartment.
00:45:49With only simulated windows.
00:45:53He doesn't know it's a shipping container.
00:45:55He doesn't know it's underground.
00:45:56All he knows is that he's got a new house now.
00:45:58And I think what I want there to be is some kind of transition.
00:46:03Some onboarding, as they say in software.
00:46:06And I think onboarding is exactly...
00:46:08exactly what I'm thinking, that when he first wakes up, I want him to feel like he's in a cabin on a ship.
00:46:16A classic cruise liner.
00:46:18You can totally do that with a shipping container.
00:46:19They're made for that.
00:46:21Right, so the window will be round.
00:46:23Oh, it's a porthole.
00:46:24And there'll be some simulated, he'll look out, he'll be able to see water and the waves, and the apartment will rock slightly.
00:46:32And he's like, how did I get on this boat?
00:46:33Yo-ho, yo-ho, the pirate's life for me.
00:46:35Yeah, he'll hear like some bells and a horn every once in a while.
00:46:38and he'll be pounding on the door like hello hello like this is not the class of cabin that i signed up for you know this is like this is like i'm down i don't even have a door that opens on this boat i'm down in the bilge and he'll be on the cruise for a while i mean it could be it could be 10 days it could be uh 10 months as far as he knows
00:47:04Because the sun's going to come up and come down not on a regular schedule.
00:47:08He's not going to remember what his circadian rhythm is.
00:47:10Oh, so he won't be able to gauge the latitudes and longitudes and stuff like that.
00:47:14And then he'll go to sleep one night, and he'll wake up, and he won't be on a boat anymore.
00:47:19Maybe he'll be in a train.
00:47:20Or in a treehouse.
00:47:22Maybe for a while it'll be a train, and he'll be like, I'm on a train?
00:47:25Where the hell am I going?
00:47:28It's all long form stuff.
00:47:36What we want from what we want to get out of Dick Cheney is different than what you want to get out of a suspected Al Qaeda higher up.
00:47:45You don't want to know.
00:47:46You're not trying to get him and say, like, when's the next attack coming on the United States?
00:47:50Mm hmm.
00:47:51You want to find out something subtler.
00:47:53You're waterboarding for Intel.
00:47:56I think you're onboarding for a fulsome apology.
00:48:00Well, I don't know if you're ever going to get an apology, but you definitely... We got time.
00:48:06We got time.
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00:49:42at checkout terms and conditions apply then you go to casper.com slash super train once again that offer code super train our thanks to casper for supporting roderick on the line and all the great shows because because you know dick's not going to be alone right like like rumsfeld's going to be in the next container over he's not alone john this is what i don't this is what i don't know does every once in a while his television hoops
00:50:07His television, which is normally broadcasting a very tailored version of the news that features a lot of material about the man himself.
00:50:19So he's going to have a lot to he's going to watch a kind of like overview of his own career as told to, you know, 60 minutes or whatever.
00:50:31Maybe some of it's about to search for Dick.
00:50:34The search for Dick, right?
00:50:35But also heavily edited.
00:50:36And then Leslie Stahl walks in and goes, fuck you, closes the door.
00:50:41Or a big documentary about Dick Cheney's boat trip around the world that he barely remembers.
00:50:48Maybe he thinks it's a reality show.
00:50:50He was staying in this beautiful cabin, but he really loved to go down into the hold of the ship and sleep for...
00:50:57days at a time in this little cramped cabin and nobody could tell him different.
00:51:01And he's like, what?
00:51:03No, no, I don't want me in here.
00:51:06And then maybe every once in a while the TV clicks onto a closed circuit channel where he can see Rumsfeld and he can see Eagleburger.
00:51:15He can see like his pals and maybe they can even hear him and he's like, hello?
00:51:19And they're like, what?
00:51:20And then it all goes back to something else.
00:51:22Rumsfeld's just sobbing and playing with dolls.
00:51:25But look, we are saying too much.
00:51:27I don't want to give it all away.
00:51:28Sleep is important.
00:51:31You want to get your mind right about it.
00:51:33That's important.
00:51:34I mean, I think even Dick Cheney would agree how important sleep is.
00:51:37Especially if you've got heart issues, you know what I'm saying?
00:51:39Another thing that was really validating about Matt Brough's book is that he...
00:51:44said, look, I'm a sleep researcher.
00:51:47I'm not political.
00:51:48I got no dog in y'all's race.
00:51:52I'm tenured here at Berkeley.
00:51:54I can do whatever I want.
00:51:56But the world is crazy.
00:51:58Kids should not go to school early in the morning.
00:52:03It's idiotic.
00:52:04It's criminal.
00:52:05It is virtually criminal to do that to kids.
00:52:08He said stores should be open until 9 p.m.
00:52:12Why are stores open at 8 in the morning?
00:52:15Nobody goes to the store at 8 in the morning.
00:52:16It's normative.
00:52:18People want to go to the store after they get off work.
00:52:20They want to be, you know, like...
00:52:23Why do we do this?
00:52:25Why do we not do the sensible thing, which is if you want to open your thing at 9 a.m., that's great.
00:52:31But then close it at 1 and be closed from 1 to 5.
00:52:34And then open it at 5 and stay open until 9, just like they used to do in Spain and Greece where people never had heart attacks.
00:52:42and take your kids school should start at 10 in the morning like come on you should be able to go to work at 10 in the morning and i'm just reading this and it's just like i am just eating it with a giant spoon well i mean i can't put my hand to the scholarship right this minute but i feel like this is something that people have been talking about for 10 15 20 years now is that there there are a couple things about
00:53:05about youths that we must acknowledge.
00:53:08One is that they don't think so.
00:53:10They may not realize this.
00:53:11They need more sleep than they think they need.
00:53:15But that second, it is physically difficult, if not impossible, for them to get to bed at a time that we think of as a normal, healthy time for a teen.
00:53:23So you take those two facts together and what do you end up with?
00:53:26You remember being a teenager.
00:53:28At a certain point, like 10th grade, 11th grade, it was so hard for me to go to bed before like midnight.
00:53:32Like really hard.
00:53:33And I thought I was a bad person.
00:53:35Like I wasn't following the rules.
00:53:36I was supposed to go to bed at 10.
00:53:38And I found it very, very difficult.
00:53:39Well, it's because that's your body.
00:53:40Your body's doing that.
00:53:42Well, now take that fact and add on top of it that a kid probably needs nine hours of sleep.
00:53:46And you got first bell at 7.15.
00:53:50You know, it's, I mean, there's the financial and business realities, though.
00:53:55I mean, one being back when they had school buses, you would need to get the school buses staggered, right?
00:54:00So you got to get the high school kids on the school buses first, then the middle school kids, then the elementary school kids.
00:54:05So you'd stagger the starting times.
00:54:07That was one.
00:54:08Another one is that, like, you know, what are you going to do with the teachers?
00:54:10You can have them come in at 10, like go home at 6.
00:54:13They already work all day anyway.
00:54:14I mean, I think those realities are part of what affects it.
00:54:17Like, you end up running on the grown-up schedule.
00:54:20It's awful.
00:54:21And I mean, we should all be like Finland, where they only go to school two hours a day, three times a week.
00:54:25I was hearing about that, and I found that very... Was that on MSNBC?
00:54:29I feel like I heard about that.
00:54:30In the Germany and the Finland, they got a real different idea about this, and yet they do better than us.
00:54:35Well, Finland is different even than Germany, because I'm also... Ugh, you're going to hate me.
00:54:40Oh boy, here we go.
00:54:42Are we going to put this out?
00:54:43We need to get an episode we can put out.
00:54:45I'm also reading a book called The Smartest Kids in the World.
00:54:50which is written by a reporter who decided to figure out why American schools, et cetera, et cetera.
00:54:57And so she went around the world and she looked at a bunch of different schools.
00:55:00She followed some American exchange students when they went to school in other places like Korea and Finland that were high achieving.
00:55:08And she wrote an entire book about how...
00:55:12How kids best learn and how you make kids that are problem solvers and not just dumb test takers.
00:55:18And I'm in the beginning of it.
00:55:20I'm just starting it.
00:55:22And it's very fascinating.
00:55:23I'll have lots to report.
00:55:27But one of the interesting things she said at the beginning of the book is when the results came out from these big studies and Finland was like way at the top of the list of schools that were producing kids that could solve problems.
00:55:44The Finns were extremely surprised.
00:55:48Really?
00:55:48Because they were like, oh, they were looking at other people going like, oh, we got to do more of that.
00:55:51Yeah, they were like, what now?
00:55:54We were just, we thought we were doing it wrong.
00:55:57Is that right?
00:55:58And now I think there's been enough coverage of it and TV stations have gone and Nobel Prize people are standing around that the people at...
00:56:08The people in Finland have developed what we like to call Scandinavian smugness about it.
00:56:15The Scandinavians like to be smug about things, and they don't even need to be asked.
00:56:23That's a component of the smugness, probably.
00:56:25That's right.
00:56:26When you find that they're doing something amazing that they didn't even realize they were doing amazing, that must feel good to them.
00:56:33So now they are like giving – now they're prepared to teach us.
00:56:37Just insufferable.
00:56:40But I do feel like as in so many things, America once again confirms that it's an embarrassment because we're doing it wrong once again.
00:56:53But I'm reading this book.
00:56:54I'm going to have lots to report.
00:56:55I'm going to bring back.
00:56:56But I think they also agree that you shouldn't have to get up early in the morning to go to school.
00:57:01Oh, but the key thing that they say, of course, is that we spend more.
00:57:05And I just said, of course, which is a version of obviously.
00:57:07That's, you know, Bob.
00:57:11So listen, listen, look, the obvious thing is that maybe not obvious, but we spend more money per per child than anywhere else.
00:57:22And like we do with health care, we spend more.
00:57:24That's how you get the best health care in the world is you spend more.
00:57:26You spend more and you get less.
00:57:28That's the American model.
00:57:30Get a little drunk and you end up in jail.
00:57:33Yeah, right.
00:57:34Sorry.
00:57:35So I'm going to bring that.
00:57:36I'm also, you know what, just to complete the trifecta, I'm also reading a Malcolm Gladwell book right now.
00:57:42Oh, Jesus, John.
00:57:42So the thing is, here's what I have.
00:57:43I have three bathrooms in my house.
00:57:46Mm-hmm.
00:57:47I leave a book in each bathroom and then I'll leave the bathroom with the book.
00:57:52I'll get into the book and then I'll take the book and I'll wander around the house and I'll lay on the couch or I'll wander around in the garden reading the book that I found most recently.
00:58:03And then I'll put it down at some point, and it'll get sort of into the, it'll get in the living room mix.
00:58:09Then I'll find another book I'll start up, because none of these books are like novels.
00:58:13It's not like you can't pick them up and put them down.
00:58:15Nonfiction tomes.
00:58:17Right.
00:58:17So I'm reading all three of these books right now, and boy, am I learning a lot about Matchsticks and The Matchstick Man and The Rubber Band Man and Little Matchstick Girl.
00:58:30A lot of matches.
00:58:33They're all in these stories.
00:58:34I'm learning about Match.com.
00:58:38And it's all about the surprising what of what.
00:58:42Yeah, that's right.
00:58:43It turns out.
00:58:46And I do feel vindicated by some of the information that
00:58:55in these books that i'm reading and you know you don't want to just read books that vindicate your position and there's a lot there's a lot i'm reading that i'm like whoa you know like when you read the smartest kids in the world and you're a parent what are you doing you're not like you're not it's not like oh i care about all the kids it's like no i want my kid i want to find out if i'm being fretful about the wrong things that i actually can't change
00:59:17Yeah, what can I do to help her?
00:59:20I mean, I can't change anything, but should I be fretful about something different just for public branding purposes?
00:59:24Right.
00:59:25If I'm sitting with perspiration coming down my forehead all day about the things I'm failing at, which ones should I feel?
00:59:31When you go meet with other parents, you can give them the surprising secret about delivery pizza.
00:59:36Do you know what this is doing to your child?
00:59:38Does your child play with a ball?
00:59:40A ball requires very little effort.
00:59:42Your child should really be playing with a dodecahedron.
00:59:45Oh, boy.
00:59:46i i went to the grocery the other night you know it was uh it was my daughter's seventh birthday i saw that on my calendar i didn't want to be creepy happy birthday of course that you would never be creepy uh in interacting with my i was looking at her on your instagram she's she's such a cutie she's seven now she's um she's she's tall her friends are tall
01:00:06We had our birthday party yesterday and her friends were there and I was like, when did you grow six inches?
01:00:11And the kid's like, I've never seen you before in my life and runs off.
01:00:14I see you every freaking day for the last three years.
01:00:18You little punk.
01:00:20He's like, never seen you before.
01:00:21Why are you talking to me?
01:00:22Although, you know, when I put my hand on his head, he like leans in rather than away because he knows that he does know me.
01:00:29That's good reading.
01:00:30I'm a safe friend.
01:00:32But if we try and talk to him directly, he's just like, what?
01:00:35Get away from me.
01:00:37But I went to the store and I'm like wandering around.
01:00:41I'm getting bread and I'm getting some jam and other things that I get at the store.
01:00:45And I see a little display of like birthday stuff.
01:00:49And I walk over because I'm, you know, I'm a customer.
01:00:53I'm an interested customer now.
01:00:55Your little end cap of birthday candles and cake decorations appeals to me because I have a birthday I'm planning.
01:01:02So I walk over and I look and I find a little candle in the shape of the number seven.
01:01:08And I found some streamers and I found some balloons.
01:01:11And I said, I'm going to get these things.
01:01:12Now, we're having a birthday party already for her at a third location.
01:01:18Mm-hmm.
01:01:18But I bought these things anyway because it's ingrained in me.
01:01:22It's the type of thing my dad would do.
01:01:23He would just go to the store and come home with a bag of things that had appealed to him that he saw on end caps.
01:01:29I think everybody does that.
01:01:30That's what Walgreens really relies on.
01:01:32So I come home and then on the kitchen counter for like four or five days sits this paper bag with some like crepe paper streamer balloons and a number seven candle.
01:01:45And then I realized like, oh, I'm going to go pick my kid up in a couple of hours from her after school program.
01:01:59I should decorate the house.
01:02:01So I jump into action.
01:02:04And I put crepe streamers all over.
01:02:07And I blow up these balloons.
01:02:09Like she's coming home from the war or something.
01:02:11Yeah, right.
01:02:11Like, welcome home.
01:02:12But it's, you know, it's her birthday.
01:02:13And although I ridicule adults that celebrate their birthday for more than...
01:02:20one dinner.
01:02:23Uh, like, like careful your birthday.
01:02:28Um, but some people deserve a whole month for their birthday.
01:02:32Let's just stipulate.
01:02:33I know they do.
01:02:33Some people's birthdays are real holidays.
01:02:36Other people's birthdays are just massive inconveniences to them.
01:02:41Uh, but, and it turned out I bought these balloons and they are really high quality balloons, like kind of shiny sheen balloons.
01:02:49Anyway, I put the balloons all up.
01:02:51I put the streamers all up.
01:02:52I brought her home.
01:02:53We walked in the door.
01:02:54Of course, I'm not like a ta-da type person.
01:02:57I'm much more of a like doo-doo-doo type person.
01:03:00She walks in, walks right through the house, walks all around, starts complaining about dinner and did not register at all.
01:03:07The balloons or the streamers or anything.
01:03:10And I was like, did you by any chance coming in the door see anything unusual?
01:03:17And she like marches back over to the door like, no, what?
01:03:21And I'm like, well, it's not on the floor.
01:03:23And she's like, well, what?
01:03:25And I'm like, oh.
01:03:26it's exactly what i would have been like i think probably yeah you just go out of your way to make everything joyless and uh eventually she was like oh yeah yeah i see you did yeah hey anyway back to the menu to the store back to the night's menu and i felt i felt like i'm reading you know i'm reading this book about uh the smartest kids in the world and i'm trying to um i'm trying to
01:03:57And I haven't gotten very far into the book.
01:03:59I'm still in the anecdotal phase.
01:04:01But there was this key moment where some young woman in Oklahoma had succeeded.
01:04:07She was awkward, didn't have a lot of friends.
01:04:09Nobody else thought the word onomatopoeia was interesting.
01:04:12And so she couldn't make friends.
01:04:15And she got invited to go to a summer program at Duke because she got a good grade on a test or something.
01:04:24And she came home and she was like, I really want to go to this summer program, Mom.
01:04:27It only costs $100 million.
01:04:29And I'll be with kids that are like me.
01:04:33And I don't think it would cost $100 million.
01:04:35I mean, I'm sure it was expensive, but I'm sure it also was whatever manageable.
01:04:39And her mom did the thing.
01:04:40Well, it's like the supposed cultures where the only numbers they have are one, two, and many.
01:04:44That's pretty much how money is for me.
01:04:46There's like entirely affordable, and you've got to be fucking kidding me.
01:04:50You know, and that's real, that like one, two, or many thing.
01:04:52It's true.
01:04:53I've actually been in many, many situations where it was like, how far?
01:04:58And they're like, oh, many.
01:05:00You're not even close to two or one.
01:05:01Don't worry about that.
01:05:03It's not that many.
01:05:04And they're like, many.
01:05:07Could be a thousand.
01:05:08Don't start looking for two yet.
01:05:10You're not there.
01:05:11But I'm reading this book and I'm like, there are going to be things in here.
01:05:14There are going to be secrets that I learn.
01:05:16And this chapter ends with this girl saying, you know, mom, can I go to the thing?
01:05:20And the way the writer portrayed it, it was one of those simple like
01:05:28Well, I didn't, you know, she's so young and I didn't want her to be away from me for a month.
01:05:32So I said no.
01:05:35Chap in the curtain.
01:05:37And it just like broke my heart.
01:05:39Like, oh, if your kid gets into a special program, a summer program at Duke, please don't say no.
01:05:45Please like, it just seems like, please don't.
01:05:48And I immediately was like, I got to put up streamers for her birthday.
01:05:52I don't know.
01:05:52I don't know what it is.
01:05:53It's not the same.
01:05:54She didn't get into anything.
01:05:55It's no Duke.
01:05:56But I don't want her to... I don't want her to come home and be like, Dad didn't decorate for my birthday.
01:06:02Instead, I got the other thing like...
01:06:05You can't go to Duke, but I bought you the expensive mac and cheese.
01:06:08These are shiny balloons.
01:06:10You didn't get one, you didn't get many, but today you got two.
01:06:13I love you.
01:06:14We don't live in Finland, but I love you.
01:06:17I love you.
01:06:17You are not one of the smartest kids in the world.
01:06:19If you were smart, you'd know that.
01:06:21Now daddy has to tell you.
01:06:22Sit down and eat your mac and cheese.
01:06:23I don't know which thing is right.
01:06:25Do I tell you that you're not one of the smart ones so you don't become a monster?
01:06:28There's a book to tell you you're doing it wrong somewhere, believe me.
01:06:32Yeah, or you are one of the greatest kids in the world because that's still what we're doing, although we know that that's produced a generation of monsters.
01:06:39Maybe you're supposed to produce the smartest kid in the world but have them believe that they're the dumbest kid in the world.
01:06:45That's how you get a serious James Bond villain going.
01:06:48Yeah, I mean, but the...
01:06:50All of the true achievers have some terrible stories about how they were tortured as kids.
01:06:56That's true.
01:06:57You don't want to torture your kid.
01:06:58You should write a book about that.
01:07:00There's your book.
01:07:02There it is.
01:07:02How to Torture Your Kid Without Seeming to Torture Your Kid.
01:07:05It's like a little mini Chaney.
01:07:06It's like, you know...
01:07:07Kids are not guest lit nearly enough anymore.
01:07:10Now we're afraid we're going to scar them or something.
01:07:12You know, when you go to Ikea and there are 40 different kinds of pillows, I think what I'm going to do is I'm going to buy 40 pillows and then every day just change the pillow in her pillowcase.
01:07:24So she thinks it's the same pillow every night, but it's a totally different pillow of different firmness, of different constitution.
01:07:32Okay, so a lot of this is sowing seeds of self-doubt.
01:07:35Yeah, so she's never 100% sure, like, wait a minute, yesterday the pillow was so hard, and today it's so soft.
01:07:41Am I the crazy one?
01:07:42I better not say anything.
01:07:43Yeah, and it's so subtle, but like...
01:07:45What about when you're choosing, you're trying to pick out the new Dalai Lama and you lay out a bunch of stuff on a picnic blanket and they come up and if they pick the right stuff, they get to be the Dalai Lama.
01:07:53What if you do that every day after school and you're always a little disappointed?
01:08:00Oh, is that what you picked?
01:08:03Interesting.
01:08:04Neighbor kid got it right.
01:08:06Well, you're not the smartest kid in the world, but you're not the dumbest kid.
01:08:13You know what?
01:08:14No mac and cheese for you tonight.
01:08:17It's hard.
01:08:18It's hard.
01:08:23Hi, Trolley.
01:08:25Ship's going into shore, Mr. Chaney.

Ep. 281: "Eight Straight"

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